URNotAlone

Finding time to bring Kaitlyn back out into the world.

December 3rd, 2007 1:09 pm MST

I have been doing a lot of thinking, and reflecting lately. Where do I stand today? Long ago, I accepted myself for who I am. I am a T-girl. I am OK with that. I get to spend time a Kaitlyn so very rarely these days. What is a T-girl to do? I want to get back out in the world as Kaitlyn, but at times it seams there are so many obstacles to remove. I have always tried to put my commitments to my family and my job before my need to express and experience my feminine side. Unfortunately, those commitments leave me with precious little free time. As a result I find that I feel I am neglecting my feminine side.

Lately, the need to get Kaitlyn back out has been growing. This has given me pause to reflect on my situation. Three years ago, I relocated from upstate NY to North East PA to take advantage of a job opportunity. From a career perspective, it was a very good move. I thought at the time, that it would be a great move for Kaitlyn as well. With NYC and Philadelphia in such close proximity to my home, i thought that Kaitlyn would have a wonderful new opportunities to get out in the world. As it turns out there is a very active TG population much closer then those major cities. I was in luck!  Or so I thought.

As it turns out, that new job keeps me extremely busy. With the exception of two wonderful visits to Amanda Richard's True Colors Studio for makeovers and photo shoots, I have not been out in the world. In fact, it rare that I get online to chat much any more. So as a result I have been having a very difficult time developing friendships with any of the Local T-girls.  This is not because there are not any friendly T-girls around, its not because there haven't been invites to go out to the clubs or the support groups, its not because there isn't anything happening in my area, on the contrary there is a ton. When it comes right down to it, its because of me.

I think one of the reasons that I got out in the world when I lived in upstate NY, is that I met a few friends online and came to trust them enough to venture out in public with them. Dana and Randi, you will never know how much your friendship and encouragement has ment to me. That trust that developed online, was in large part due to the fact that I had the time to spend online getting to know these girls. My problem now is how does a girl with such limited time establish such a friendship? How do I make the time that Kaitlyn needs, and maintain balance with the rest of my life?