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Jennifer Lynn Mills

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Journal Entries for Jennifer Lynn Mills

Pics

October 24th, 2008 8:08 am MDT

Many of you have ask why I don't have more pics.  Well, there are basically 2 reasons for this: One is pretty simply; my wife.  My wife has never really accepted this part of my life.  Yes, she tired, or so I hope she did.  At one time I have a very nice collection of pics of all types (lingerie, wedding, casually, dressy) you name it.  Even some I transferred to DVD's when I was in my teens and early 20's Well, my wife snooped around one day and found all my pics on my computer and deleted them.  Then took the extra effort to find the master DVD's and destroyed those too.  Needless to say I was devastated.  This happened probably about 2 years ago, and for reasons to be explained just never got around to taking more. The other is a bit more complex, and after looking back now, I wondered why it stopped me. Shortly after this happened with my wife, I was driving home from work one morning.  I work a midnight shift job and it was shortly before sunrise.  While driving home, I was blind-sided by a car blowing thru an intersection.  My car was totally and I thought I was too.  Other than being just badly bruised, I also had a broken leg; or so I though.  The damage was so severe, they couldn't save it and have to take it right below the knee. This is just one point in my life where I didn't care about anything anymore.  I played baseball in highschool and college and had always taken pretty good care of myself.  Now, I felt worthless.  I didn't want anyone to see me like this and sure dind't want to dress up anymore as I always loved showing off my legs and never wore pants or slacks as Jennifer.  Although I started using an artificial leg, it wasn't the same and I stopped dressing altogether.  It was only thru the concern of a close friend (who didn't even dress), that got me "back on my feet" and convinced me it was on the inside that mattered more.  I started dressing again, but still have a hang-up of letting others see me dressed with only one leg. Maybe I am acting silly.  I know I am not the only one like me around, but I hope others understand.  I've been accused of being a fake because I only have this one pic.  I know perhaps I should have shared this earlier, but does it make a difference how many pics a person has?  What about those girls that are so closeted they have no pics and can't risk taking any?  Any they fakes? I hope others can understand now why I avoid the issue of pics or keep saying I will get to it, etc.  If they can't understand, I hold no judgement.  And for those that I wouldn't chat with because they have no pics, I understand perhaps how they feel

[3 comments]

Just an Update

March 7th, 2008 9:05 am MST

Since so many of friends have been nagging me, it's time to update this profile.It's been so wonderful to meet and make so many wonderful friends here. I don't know what I would do without you.  Life is rough for so many of us, without the many friends I have made, I would have lost it by now.  I've recently moved, not far away fom where I was.  Just had to make the change and get that stupid name of where I lived off my profile.  Now I don't have to endure all the stupid jokes because I lived in a city named NormalI'm just your average trapped girl.  Trapped in a bad marriage with a non-supportive wife.  I hope that will change someday.  I hate the idea of divorce, but Jennifer is just too strong, and simply I don't wanna live without being her.  I have finally come to accept this is how I should have always been.I hate being rude but, guys, don't even think of tryng to chat with me or writing.  It will be ignored, plain and simple.  I am here to be with my friends, not for some guy to try and make a move on me.  Also, if you don't have a pic on your profile, I'm not interested.  I know this sounds harsh, but so many of us have taken the time to get a pic taken.  I know it's the only one I have but I took the time for the world to see who I am.I still love hearing from others, and although I may be slow in replying, I do try.  All of my lovely sisters are welcome to write anytime.

[1 comment]

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