URNotAlone

STRESSED OUT // 1-17-2008 // Need Hormones

January 17th, 2008 3:47 am MST

STRESSED OUTI am so totally stressed out as of late, I just hardly know what to do!!  My internet biz that I started about 1 year ago is doing NOTHING.  So all the money I put into it is for naught at the moment, but I've not given up on it.  I am basically broke at the moment, I don't remember in the last 10 years when I have been so broke.  I guess, that is a good run though, hope I can get things back going. I must! Since I OUTED myself to everyone last Halloween, not much progress have I made on my transition.  They will not let me come to work dressed. ((  I have tried several doctors to get hormones and they all have said NO, because they have no idea what to do with a TS.  Grrrr.  Can they not read, and research, can they not ask me some questions? Last doctor I asked, last week, looked so shocked, he got up did not say good bye, shake my hand, or have a good day, I looked out in the hall and he was almost running away.  What made it worse was the antibiotic he gave me, I had a terrible reaction too.My parents have been nice about it all, about finding out that I am TS.  But when I asked to come to the family Christmas day and dinner as Beth, they said NO, I guess they are ashamed of me.They are giving me a hard time at work!  I will not cut my hair, it is now like 16" long and nice and curly, I had my brows waxed, now I twease them, I have long nails!  This Monday my boss had an outside computer company come in and lock me out of MY own network.  Now as the Network Administrator, how am I supposed to do my job? He did not even tell me, nor has he yet.  I had to call that company to ask them what was up. Harrasment.  And I don't even come to work dressed not one time since Halloween, although I wish I could to start my real life test and live full time 1 year so I can get SRS!  I've lost most of my friends at work.  All of this because I want to be a girl?? Good grief.  I waited a long time holding these feelings in not to make anyone mad, but I cannot do it anymore.I want to get my hormones legally, and be under a doctors care.  SighSo, at this moment, I am not one happy camper.  Beth Ann