Joanna
"watching her wild flowers bloom and harvesting apples."
© 1995-2008 URNotAlone.com, All Rights Reserved. All items © Copyright by their respective owners, used here with their consent.
Page generated in 0.51 seconds
URNotAlone
Accessibility Options
2008 in Review
Dan™ & Erin™ December 31st, 2008 2:28 pm MSTWell, it's definitely been an interesting year. A lot has happened. I ended a relationship with the best girlfriend I've ever had (though she still wasn't right), I've watched my prosperity complete dry up, I've almost completely stopped smoking and my drinking is almost not even noticeable at this point. I've fallen in love with the most incredible woman and I'm slowly figuring things out.
When the year began, I was worried about money. My company stopped producing and selling adult content which resulted in a massive drop of revenue. Around the same time, I broke my primary revenue producing website preventing people with IE 6 from accessing it, so I spent most of the year working on a new design which finally went online in August.
I really thought most of my financial problems were my fault. The result of changes in my companies business model and my own failing's running the web sites. In fact, I was so busy trying to figure out what I was doing wrong that I didn't notice the world collapsing slowly outside my window.
I had to cash in my kids college funds to pay bills. I had to cancel my life insurance to pay bills. When my car died, I decided to sell it for scrap rather than repair it. Fewer bills again. My house is usually a bit chilly and dark to save on utilities. I've reduced my monthly budget by around 2,000. I've been selling furniture to buy groceries.
For everything that had gone wrong, I'm optimistic. Not because I see an end in sight, but because I feel like I'm getting a handle on things. I have the best friends of my life. I'm in love for the first time in my life. I'm relatively healthy and my kids are healthy and seem well adjusted.
I think things are going to get worse. A lot worse, but I'm confident that we'll all get through this. As a planet, we need to step back and assess what's important. We need to focus on the things that need to be done, and we need to start working towards a better future.
I think we'll do it.
I hope.
[Comment on this post]
Merry xMas!
Dan™ & Erin™ December 25th, 2008 7:35 am MST[2 comments]
i like writing in my journal.
Spirit December 18th, 2008 1:21 pm MSTI'm making this entry to see iif journals are working, again. I realli like writing here because I can dump out my thoughts and then read them and see if what i'm feeling is worthwhile or not. i've killed about 7 entires after i re-read them. i'm proud of this because, to me, it seems to mean that i'm still able to see it when i'm not thinking clearly about things. at least, most of the time :)
anyhoo, i hope this makes the post (unlike the 3 GOOD ones that also got dumped 'cause i didn't know journals were broken) and i hope to be spinning delicate yarns of lteral gossamyr again, soon.
As always, i'm veri thankful for the presence of my URNA friends and i always look forward to spending time, physical or virutal, with you all. Best of Luck and Happiest of Holidays to all with a dash of compassion and empathy from Sue.
[Comment on this post]
OK, who's oppressing who?
Spirit December 15th, 2008 2:30 am MSTone of my friends told me today that GGs and TGs often don't like associating with her because she's a CD. I don't understand why that should be.
It seems to me that lots of people who are vociferously conscious of their rights, and constantly concerned with how they are treated by the mainstream, immediately turn around and segregate our genre when given the opportunity. It's like New England all over again: "We MUST have freedom to be ourselves! Now Be Like Us Or Else..."
I have never been ill treated because i'm not TG. At least, I don't think i have. people have, on occasion, ignored my salutations. That kind of thing makes me sad because i always reply, even if just to say sorri but i'm not realli interested.
But these are my own ethics. They aren't rules, and i have no right to expect everybodi else to act as i do. so i try to put myself in their place and sometimes it makes me feel some empathy and then i feel better. Sometimes it doesn't work, but i always try it.
If somebody is annoying, if they behave poorly, or bore you, or upset you for some reason, then, absolutely ignore them. after all, it's much better than a screaming match.
If, however, you're ostracizing another girl just because she isn't "serious" enough for you, then you'd better think a bit before complaining that people discriminate against you. Turnabout, as they say is fair play.
We all need to contemplate the entire meaning of the word bigot and then take a long look in the mirror. Sometimes i don't like what i see, but i always look.
[1 comment]
Purple America
Dan™ & Erin™ November 7th, 2008 3:03 pm MSTFor those of you who still think that the election was close, take a look at these two maps. One shows the counties in their actual size shaded blue or red based on what the population voted.
This map shows each county with a size set by the population. It looks a lot less red.
This is far more of the mandate the George W Bush claimed four years ago, this is a landslide. For those of you that fear a socialist government, let me just state the following:
1. Socialist nations like Denmark, Normay, Sweden and Holland have:
I've heard a lot of people claim that Obama was a socialist. He's not. I wish he was, but I would have been no more enthusiastic of his candidacy.
Be that as it may, why would socialism be so scary anyway?
[18 comments]
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday
Dan™ & Erin™ October 20th, 2008 1:50 pm MDTHalloween has always been my favorite Holiday. Godless heathen that I am, there aren't many holidays that don't have the flavor of one of more gods tainting them. That's all right. I love Solstice decorations, and even some Christmas decorations (I usually have angels on my tree). Easter is fun because of coloring eggs and candy. I guess you could say that I enjoy some holidays that have been co-opted by religions in spite of that. Halloween though has always had a special place in my heart. There isn't a related religious holiday to be seen. It's all about dressing up and having fun. A final harvest festival to usher in the cold snowy months. I just got news that is going to make Halloween even better for me. I just got a notice from the Clerk of the Court of Common Please, Franklin County Ohio, Domestic Division. After six long irritating years of playing silly buggers in the court system, the judge has finally lost patience and is going to grant me an uncontested divorce! My children and I haven't even SEEN their mother is eight years! I always celebrated Halloween in Boston with the drag queens and transvestites. It's always a really fun time. I've been planning a "Bachelor Party" to coincide with my divorce. I think this is going to be an annual event! Anyway, I'm excited. The only fly in the ointment is that I am supposed to be in court at 9 am and my flight for Boston is scheduled for 1:20 pm the same day, so I may have to see about pushing it back. Either way, I'm pretty excited!
[2 comments]
The Candidates, simplified
Dan™ & Erin™ October 9th, 2008 11:12 pm MDT[2 comments]
Beltain and the joys of spring
Spirit September 14th, 2008 7:27 pm MDTi'm beginning to be happy again and it's nice. For awhile, my job was just awful. it seemed like there was a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel ... attached to Thomas the Tank Engine's Gnasty drunken dad and heading strait for Sue. i got to the point where i did NOTHING except work. i didn't go out anymore. i stopped eating,etc etc etc. I've been through rough projects before but this was just unbelievable. some misguided individual even tried to cover his butt by firing me in the darkest hour (it didn't work, but he sure gave it the 'ole college try). i forgot who sue was. and now it's over. i've been reading a lot of Dalai Lama, lately. one of the things he says, that i'm learning to agree with, is that western people are not objective about suffering. we see starving children and think, "my god how awful." yet, we don't seem to see anything tragic about our medicine cabinets full of Zoloft, Sominex, Vivarin, Prosac ... etc etc etc. the Lama says many of the people we consider to be suffering actually enjoy life more than we do because they're not so stressed out all the time. now i'm thinking of Solzhenitsen (who just died BTW. Fair Winds, Alecsander...) i'm thinking about ivan denisevitch living in the gulag in total poverty and total slavery. i'm remembering how they were never able to take his humanity and his smile no matter what they did to him. i sort of felt that way, like i was in the gulag. but i lost my smile. and now i've got it back. i hope the next time i get mulched (because it surely will happen) i can hold up like ivan denisevitch and smile my way through it. until then i'm sharing this smile just as much as i can because it's the good memories that get you through the hard times. you guys saved my life :) thanx luv Sue Sue recommends the following bathroom reading: Ethics for the New Millenium by Dalai Lama, and One Day in the life of Ivan Denisevitch by alecsander Solzhenitsen. They are both small books but they make me feel good when i read them[1 comment]
Off to Vegas
Ellen September 8th, 2008 3:06 am MDTWell I am off tomrrow for Las Vegas. Another convention. I think I will try to get to GBII.
Thanks to all who never responded to messages after you sent the initial ad. It would seem that manners do not matter. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I expected URNA to be filled with kind and open people.
There are nice gals out there- they know who they are, and to you, thanks.
Ellen
[Comment on this post]
Open Casting Call for Gothcoming 2k8 (Chas Ray Krider)
Dan™ & Erin™ August 29th, 2008 12:37 pm MDTChas Ray Krider (http://www.motelfetish.com) and Daniel Goode (http://www. retrokitten.com) will be holding open casting call interviews at The Invisible Studio for Gothcoming 2k8 (Friday Oct 3rd, 2008).
Chas will be interviewing for assistants and performers for an installation piece the night of Gothcoming.
Daniel is interviewing for Box Dancers and general assistants.
Wednesday August 3rd
2PM - 5PM
7PM - 9PM
The Invisible Studio
219 King Ave
Columbus OH, 43201
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=219+King+Ave+Columbus+OH&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=44.069599,68.203125&ie=UTF8&ll=39.990454,-83.012202&spn=0.010456,0.016651&z=16&iwloc=addr
If you are unable to attend the open casting call, you can contact Chas or Daniel directly to set up and interview.
Chas Ray Krider 614 327-2793
Daniel Goode 614 546-9117
View Larger Map
[Comment on this post]
"the hells angels" - YAAAAWWWWWNNNNN
Spirit August 23rd, 2008 4:29 pm MDTSo, the other day i'm in a trashier TG chatroom (URNA is THE BEST, but sometimes, wellll i have e-needs 2, y'know <giggle>), and this guy PM's me. No profile, no stats, but his chat handle is like "bad biker dude" or something in that vein... I'm bored, and maybe a little pent up, so i think, "ok, why not? this is what i came in for, anyway..." Well, i'm thinking we might exchange a few pleasantries and then see where it goes. Uh-UH, stud boy fires off with, "what are you wearing right now, slut? - Take it off! ALL of it." Those of you who know me are grinning, right now. anyway, i figure i'll try it out, so here i am playing, "little wimpy weak willed girlie" And, to be honest, it was kind of fun for awhile. He thought i was cute and seksi. We all love that kind of thing, right? He wanted me to grab a "_" (HA! i barely knew what it was, never mind owning one) and use it on my little "_". Well that didn't sound either romantic or pleasant, but i rode along with it (No No I didn't actually DO IT . I wasn't really turned on by this point) but it just wasn't working. figured i'd give it one last try. I say, "hey, listen, motorcycle GUY. My name is Sue, not slut, and by the way, what's yours?" some kind of diatribe about motorcycle gangs and one percenters and Harley davidsons and what happens to disobedient sissies and yak yak yak. so i dumped out, but it got me thinking. Here's this guy who's supposedly some big tough hell's angel type, full of swagger and all. Funny how he's too scared to come up with a name, though... I've never bought into the "tough Guy" mentality. I've been priviledged to have a few friends who are pretty well equipped for life. They are, to a one, gentlemen, discrete, and understated. They blend in. They don't strut like peacocks (or is it pea cocks? :) Now, i can't claim to know any "real" biker gang guys, or, for that matter, gangstas, etc etc etc (not singling out bikers). I'm basically a corporate girl with a few interesting stories and penchant for writing. But i know what i like. I really realli like confidence. and i'm pretty sure these tough guy types lack it. i guess i should apologize to the hell's angels, too. it was just the first biker gang that came to mind. sorry guys, you're not realli my thing, but no H/A's have bothered me so it isn't fair for me to throw a rock at youse :) maybe i should've said, "Black Widows" HA! end of ramble peace and love :)[1 comment]
Say Hello to Roxy
Dan™ & Erin™ August 17th, 2008 6:44 pm MDTToday, Lynne and I bought the most adorable Chihuahua. We found her through http://petfinder.com. She was from a mother that was rescued from a puppy mill.
She is quite possibly the most adorable animal that we've ever seen. I'm really glad we are able to give her a good home. Our cats of course don't seem really thrilled yet, but I'm sure they will come around.
It's been a good weekend. Things aren't turning around yet, but progress is being made in all of the right directions.
http://gallery.me.com/dan.frederick/100169
[2 comments]
Making Memories
Dan™ & Erin™ August 16th, 2008 3:36 pm MDTWhen I was five years old, I over heard my older foster sisters (10 and 12) talking about going to a "Teddy Bear Picnic". I was so excited. I imagined that the Teddy Bears came to life and played with you. I begged them to let me come along but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, I resorted to the tried and true method of little brothers everywhere and implored my foster mother. She told my sisters that they HAD to take me and they relented. Or so I thought...
With my radio flyer tied inexpertly to my tricycle (which was still wobbly from my failed re-enactment of the Monkee's opening credit trick where they rode mopeds down stairs) and my favorite Teddy Bear snuggled securely for the ride across town, we pedaled to the corner of Weir Street.
At the very moment that we reached the corner, my sisters, with some pre-arranged signal, sped away on their two wheeled bicycles.
I yelled and I cried, but the tears made it impossible for me to see where they went.
I rode my tricycle down the alley behind our house and crawled into the wagon with my Teddy Bear and cried and cried and cried.
From that point on, I hated them and I never forgave them for depriving me of my chance to go to the Teddy Bear Picnic.
Fast Forward 33 years, and my lovely girlfriend Lynne informs me that there is an opportunity for us to volunteer with Nationwide Children's Hospital at the Teddy Bear Safari at the Columbus Zoo. You'd better believe that I jumped all over that.
This is probably my favorite volunteer gig to date. Seeing children of all ages with their teddy bears. Eyes full of wonder as they help their furry little friends get check ups and vaccinations.
Truth be told, I wasn't ready to quit when my shift was up. They had to tell me repeatedly that I could go, and finally, Lynne had to drag me away. I would have stayed all day if I could.
I didn't get to create many happy memories when I was a child, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let another child miss out on that opportunity.
To commemorate this awesome day, I bought a new teddy bear, and I even got her a friend. Without out further ado, let me introduce you to Flo (IceFlow) the polar bear cub, and her best friend Xavier the cephalopod.
I've been rather lax in posting and I'm a little behind so here are photos from our trip to Cedar Point last weekend.
[photos]
[Comment on this post]
Untitled Post
Dan™ & Erin™ July 17th, 2008 10:29 pm MDTNate, Lynne and I drove to Cincinnati for dinner with Deb and Tammie. Jasmine was going to come, but Rocky was sick. I understand completely.
We had a lovely meal at a Thai place. We were completely full and getting ready to drive home. We were in fact in the car, when Lynne suddenly shouts "KITTENS!"
Playing around the dumpster, were five of the most adorable kittens you will ever see. We went over to the dumpster while they scampered around. On the side of the restaraunt, someone had erected a little shelter and their were clean plates scattered around.
While we were investigating, the owner of the restaurant and his daughter came out. It seems the mother had abandoned the kittens (or perhaps she was hit by a car or something), and the kittens had been motherless for about five days.
The owner, and elderly Thai man had been trying to get them into shelters, but Cincinnati apparently has weird rules and they hadn't been able to find people to take them. (Go ahead and say it, an asian place where kittens weren't being used as food...) anyway...
We decided that we need to rescue them and at least bring them to a shelter in Columbus.
I currently have five kittens playing in my basement.
Here's the deal. We'd like them to find homes. The Shelter is OK, but ideally, if there is someone out there that would like a kitten, now's your chance. FREE to a good home.
I've posted a photo gallery to weaken your will.
Seriously, just go an look. What could it hurt? ehh? ehh?
[cuteness]
We are taking them to the shelter tomorrow around four pm, so you don't have a lot of time to decide. Seriously, they can't be more than four or five weeks old, they've already had rough lives. Wouldn't you like to give them a happy home?
[1 comment]
What Is the Big Deal with Sex?
Nicole Antoinette Amie June 30th, 2008 4:55 pm MDTWhat is the big deal with sex? Sex is for making babies, right? It also feels good. My bet is that if it didn't feel good, there wouldn't be very many babies. Is it wrong to have sex just to feel good? Since marriage is forever, and the number of children per family is 1.9, I'm thinking that sex between marriage partners happens more than 1.9 times in a life time. The couple is one forever, not just to make babies. The way I see it, sex is the ultimate intimacy between a committed couple. The becoming one flesh thing. Beyond the physical pleasure envolved in sex, do we not experience the mental pleasure of love and acceptance? Now, can we become one with someone and then rip ourselves apart and become one with another, over and over again? Of course we can. Maybe the question really is "should we"? Does the pleasure of the sex outweigh the pain of the tearing apart? This journal entry did not go in the direction that I started out in, so I posted two entries today. But perhaps it will be thought provoking anyway.[Comment on this post]
Is Sex All It Is About?
Nicole Antoinette Amie June 30th, 2008 4:49 pm MDTI know that transsexual has the word SEX in it. But is SEX what it is all about? My body has male sex organs. My mind has a female gender. Is it important for the sex and the gender to be in alignment? The answer to that lies somewhere between YES and NO for all of us. I was recently asked a question by one of my genetic girl friends about whether I ever had, or thought about having sexual relations with a man. Oh what a hard question! My mind went back 30+ years to when I was in my early 20s. How I fantisized, hoped and even prayed about becoming a wife to a man. How I sought out confirmation that I could be a woman, and how that led to a night of confirmation. Does that make me homosexual? I don't believe so. As I have lived my life cross-dressed as a male, I have been married and have fathered three wonderful children. Nobody considers that to be a homosexual experience. That night back in the 70s never made me feel gay. In fact, it felt right. I was a woman! As a woman, I would seek a husband. Does that mean that I want it both ways? Am I bi-sexual? I don't think so. I personally think that being bi-sexual is what some transgendered folks feel that they have to be. To others, it just seems to open up two times as many potential sex partners. What do I know. Have any of you thought about this?[4 comments]
My first EON encounter
Ellen June 29th, 2008 5:52 pm MDTI was invited to meet the girls at a Syracuse restaurant last night. It was Ellen's first time. The girls were great and I was suprised to find I had met at least one of them before in another life. The most incredible thing was I met my sister for the fist time, Katy! Most of you will not realize what i mean. I had a great time after the initial nervousness.
[Comment on this post]
tweak the world and work gets a little easier.
Spirit June 19th, 2008 5:47 pm MDTI'm in Boston and I really love it, here. Lately, though, work has been oppressive - i haven't even had the chance to go out because many of my friends who never knew me as Sue DO know I have a sweet apt and have invited themselves up <giggle>. I realli don't mind because I love my friends and I love company, But it's all been ... well ... stressful. So I decided to chuck it all for a while and SHOP!! Surprisingly, I didn't buy anything pretty. Instead, I bought music. It was a good choice. here's what I bought: Bloom (SarahMclachlan. Yes, yes I AM a girl, after all <giggle>), two disk "best of" Tori Amos (I luv her voice so much), Turn Around (Jonny Lang - RIDICULOUSLY good blues), Something equally bluesy by Keb Mo (left the CD in Apt so I don't know the name), a collection of Romantic Period guitar music, Bach's collected Toccata and Fugues (listening to it now - it makes me feel like a snowfalke in a blizzard <shivering happily>). Iraq (Black47 - please no political comments about this one. The Irish are among the most musical of cultures, and I love hearing lyrics that don't make soldiers sound llike war mongers. If you've been involved with that kind of stuff you'll remember things when you play it. You should play it anyway.) Time Out (Dave Brubeck Quartet. REALLY classic Jazz.I have an LP from my dad at home but people keep "borrowing" my cd :) ), Now I'm looking at this STACK of CDs in Border's (wound up there after despairing in the music section of WalMart), thinking, "Crap this is gonna be expensive." But, as I passed the bargain table I still had to pick up a new copy of "legend" by Bob Marley and, for a realli cute surprise, Eddie Brickell n the New Bohemians! I was hopscotching through the aisles when I found that one :) I get back to the office, pop Jonny Lang into my portable and, well, it was like, "No. no way. This won't work." So Today I went out at lunch and bought a Klipsch satellite / subwoofer PC system. I am now FLOATING on a glorious sea of sound. everybody else has gone home so I'm shattering windows with the glorious sounds of pipe organ and JS Bach. I can't describe how happi I am now. I don't care if I work all night (which is good because I might be ... ) Guys and dolls, BUY this damned Klipsch system! it's $160 but it makes a PC sound .. well.. KLIPSCH. OMG it's good! Thanks for listening I only wish I could REALLY share the music. Close your eyes and imagine Heaven and Hell shoved into a cuisineart. The image comes close, but the reality is more intense. Love, and Compassion (which is Love after her acne clears) , Suzi ps- of course it's one more heavy thing to shlep outta here when i head south again. YUK florida :([3 comments]
Help me get another facial!
Dan™ & Erin™ June 12th, 2008 11:43 am MDT[clicky-click]
For some reason, gay people and their friends are often in the service industry. Bartenders, waiters, stylists, airline attendants. You don't take advantage of these relationships per se. It just makes your life easier.
One of my "Shopping Friends" Kelly, works at Phia in the Short North. Last week, I took k8e in for her first "Big Girl" salon visit and Kelly harped on me to come in. I cut my own hair, I do my own eyebrows, I really don't need to go to a salon...
or so I thought.
I went in this morning and got the "New Customer" Discount. $25 for a cut, eye brow wax, facial, hot towel and scalp massage.
WOW. I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years. Seriously. My best friend Michael always went to Salons and I chided him for wasting his money. I never understood. I would get a manicure while he slipped away into the bowels of the salon. He was always perkier and happier, but I thought it was just because he had spent a lot of money, not because he had been pampered. I get it now.
So here's the deal. Call Phia. Ask for an appointment with Kelly, and tell them that Daniel Frederick referred you. You'll get $10 off your first visit, and more importantly, "I'll" get $10 off "MY" next visit.
Seriously. I need to do this once a week. I feel like a million dollars. This needs to be part of my Friday ritual.
Please please please. Help me get a facial.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, I still giggle when I say the word "facial".
[3 comments]
Trouble is HOME!!!
Dan™ & Erin™ June 11th, 2008 4:45 pm MDTWe had almost given up hope. My phone rang again this afternoon. Pete, the cook at Victorian's Midnight Cafe had adopted a stray from behind the bar last Thursday. It was Trouble!
He's home safe and sound. He has a brand new collar, fresh pet grass and more hugs and kisses then he probably wants.
That stupid douche. When I get done crying, I'm going to kill him!
Lynne and I are in Michigan for her nieces graduation party this weekend, but we'll be home Sunday.
HOORAY, the TROUBLE CAT is home SAFE!!!!!!
[Comment on this post]