URNotAlone

Out and About

July 19th, 2011 10:09 am MDT

Other girls ask me about going out. I started going out when I was about 14. At times when my family was not at home I would go for a walk as me, trying to avoid anyone who might know me. (It was also how I met the first man in my life.) After I started to drive, and as my wardrobe improved, I began going to the malls and to movies, usually alone but sometimes with male company. In college, I also began going to clubs and bars.

Tips:

Become comfortable with yourself - at home get used to being you - clothes, hair, makeup. Look at yourself in the mirror. If you have someone who can help, have them look at you.

Observe women as they go about their daily activities - how they dress, act, their appearance. Most do not overdoo hair, makeup or clothes. It is life, not a halloween party.

Decide upon who you want to be. You can be casual suburban, professional or executive, business casual, classy, school teacher, dressy middle class. Remember, you do not have to wear stilettos, stockings and short skirts - or even skirts at all - jeans and a sweater could work just fine! (Or maybe a classy business suit?)

When you do go out as yourself, accept that you will be nervous at first. Do not try to call attention to yourself. People are not all going to stare at you. You will find that most people will ignore you - after all, you are just another woman. Even if you are "made" most people will do nothing more than take a second look or maybe smile or laugh. Do not let this bother you.

If you do go to a bar, you may get hit on by guys - so be prepared and decide in advance if this is something you will enjoy. Remember that flirting can lead to more. For me, it is part of being me and part of being the woman I am.

Do plan to go out as often as you can. If possible, develop a relationship with another girl or a man. It is always nice and fun to have a companion or two. You will soon find that you are enjoying being the woman you are!