URNotAlone

An Open Letter to GG/SO's

March 5th, 2007 4:16 pm MST

So you have a spouse or partner who is a TG, (in this term I include CD/TS/TG/TV), or you are thinking of starting a relationship with one. So what kind of person have you gotten, or about to get, yourself attached to. Well, in a TG, you are getting someone who has an above average IQ and is kind, considerate and understanding. She loves to nurture her children and while she may not like housekeeping, and who does, she will do her share. She will listen to you and be compassionate. She may not always instigate sexual relations, because she too needs to feel desireable and wanted, but she will be there for you.

You may be upset, or confused because of her lifestyle, or because she may have kept this from you, but the fact that she has related this to you, means that you are very special to her. This is something very hard to disclose in today's world, that she may have been living in denial herself. You may wonder if she is gay, or may leave you, but her sexual orientation has probably never changed, and if she was to leave you because of this, she would have done it, without ever confiding in you. Your acceptance and respect mean a lot to her. If you can get past the label that you may appear to be a lesbian, once you have accepted her, she will be like your best friend. She will go shopping with you, sometimes for the same types of clothes. She will be understanding when you complain and will cry with you when you are sad.

So enjoy your time that you have with your TG person. Treat her like a sister, like a girlfriend and like a lover. Show her how to do her makeup properly, as you have had more practise than she has. Show her how to do her hair, if she has any, or help her buy a wig that will complement the shape of her face and her colour. Help her buy clothes that will flatter her and/or make her look hot. She will appreciate and probably respects, your input and observations. But remember, she may go through changes as she discovers who she is. This has been hidden in her for a very long time, and she may not be sure what kind of look she wants. And when she finds it, she may want to change it as she ages. How many hairstyles and wardrobe changes have you gone through in your lifetime? You must remain flexible and help her adapt to the times as they change. Be there to listen to her and to help her understand her feelings. There are many options for her, and she doesn't know where to start or where it will take her. Ask questions and help her find the anwers she needs. But most of all, be her friend. At this stage of her life, she may lose some that she has, and she may feel alone and depressed.

If you can do all this, you will have the best friend a person can ever ask for.