URNotAlone

I am without another.

May 23rd, 2008 1:26 pm MDT

After nearly three years my ex-count is newly up by one. My feelings diverge. I've never loved anyone in my silly life in the same fashion that I love her. Yes. Still. Twice before now we have chosen to abandon the concept of "us" so my grief is muted, tired. But no one, I think, can unflinchingly stomach betrayal's bile flavor, no matter how dulled by pragmatic expectation or empathy.
 
A cool breeze - freedom - catches at my breath, harbinger of storm winds carrying adventure, danger, dreams, even nightmares. There is that tingle in my fingertips that I didn't notice had gone, and I feel my eyes rekindle. My heart stops, and then surges as I realize - nothing now impedes me from living my impossible and cherished fears.