URNotAlone

Would you like to see my Monkey?

February 20th, 2008 6:02 pm MST

Like every girl I have my own needs and desires. Some of us want a sugar daddy and some of us want to be left alone. Rich or poor is a non issue when it comes to how differently we relate to our world. A world with huge pitfalls that can be very painful.

Some of us have a perfect figure some don't, for some it's a passing fancy and others a lifelong commitment for a verry differnt and new life. With all the things that entails.

As many of you know I get hit on  a lot. Boys come and go like a revolving door. A girlfriend of mine pondered this question and it got me to thinking about my own monkey. He is big and throws tantrums a lot more than I would like. He has cost me a ton of money and is always finding new ways to mess with the delicate balance I have established.

To everyone around me I am one person. They see what I want them to, or think what I want them to, but underneath the storm rages.My monkey battles with me endlessly. Oh the joys of hormones and other difficulties arise on a regular basis. Did I pay this bill or that, why did I forget the contract that needs to be signed today by this new client. Argggh!!

Whats a girl to do when your all alone. You are petrified with fear that your monkey will talk. He might blow your cover right now or tomorrow when you least expect it. Will he wait to air your secrets or taunt you with them until you break down. My monkey holds me hostage sometimes. He is and evil monster who makes even getting dressed a chore sometimes.

Some girls have it easy but most of us don't. Why is that? It is what it is. Monkey's have a  funny way of finding the biggest wrench there is and jamming it into the gears. What now? Well you keep going, ignore that monkey. Slap him around when you can because he will beat you senseless if you let him. Learn how to work with him, or beat him at his game.

Spend the money you can to keep him happy and tighten your belt when you need to. With all of our expenses is it any wonder why we have trouble finding love, peace or happiness.

Gee I really need to pay the water bill but Macy's is having a sale.... How many of us are guilty of those thoughts. My doctor says I need this but I want that so sure I'll sign for an extra ten grand. Why the hell not I'm worth it right. Girls you are wrong.

The monkey does not like you and he thinks you are worth zip. Learn to make a deal with him and you might get what you want. I actually considered, yes sweet Innocent little me considered selling myself to get some surgery but I haven't yet. I probably won't but it sure would help. Don't fall victim to his evil ways. Don't do things that will destroy what you have now or are working for later. DO NOT rush things!!

Sacrifice my dignity and self respect for an easy way to look better. A sure fire way to look more like I WANT TO rather that how I need to. As expensive as our lives are is it any wonder some of us totally melt down. We collapse under the pressure.  Normal girls complain about how this or that happened  or how they wish their but was smaller or some other inane flaw.

Honey I just spent a ton of money to get mine and would have done anything to have yours to start with. My thoughts betray me as I almost scream out loud. Again my monkey tried to smash my world. If only there was a way we could just wave a magic wand and be just the way we wanted to be. We could kill our monkey for good and be happy.

Reality is not so kind. Our Monkey will be with us forever. Always lurking in the background waiting for the opportunity to out our little secrets. diligent in his efforts to proclaim we didn't always look this way. Beauty has a price and our price is double, and comes with a big mean monkey who hates us.

The point is we are different. We have additional costs and needs that most normal girls just cant appreciate. We have to work twice as hard to look half as good on occasion sometimes. So try not to despair ladies. I'm right there with you fighting in the trenches to get what is ours and keep it. Each and every one of us deserves respect and if you don't get it then demand it!

My monkey is mean but he has made me strong. He has made me the woman I am. No one can take that away. I will not let him win in the end and I will prevail. I will be happy and if I can't find people that are ok with that then I don't need them. You don't need them either. One of my girlfriends told me how much she loved me just the way I am and It made me cry.

I beat my monkey. I finally got to slap him around and it felt good. Surround yourself with those kinds of people and you can beat your monkey too. Reach out to those around you. Call them, make them part of your life so you can win when your monkey comes.

I hate my monkey and wish I could get rid of him but I can't so I just do my best to work around him and keep him out of my way as often as I can. So the next time somebody gives you grief just ask them...

Do you want to see my Monkey