URNotAlone

Your'e So Hot....

March 12th, 2008 5:10 pm MST

In my ever elusive quest for a "nice" guy I thought It might be fun to post some of the "love letters" I have gotten over the years. I have placed them in no particular order. I have added my thoughts to them so for the few guys who might read this it might help you figure out why the girls you write to NEVER write back...

I do respond to every polite note I get. Many times if sombody actually does write a well thought out and kind letter I will respond quickly.  It takes me a while sometimes but I try really hard to answer everybody. I do have a job... For you guys out there who read my columns these are actual leters from men who are cluless about girls.

Guys we get a lot of mail. OK! We know you want to get in our knickers, we get it. Well we like a little satin sheet time to. The problem is in how you approach us. The letters below never work. If you want some really cheap slut who will sleep with anybody fire away. However if you want a truly hot woman who will keep you satisfied and really wants to be with you take a lesson from these.

Letter -----------------------------------
now lets see the other side.   lets share  pic's 

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Poor gramar, unfocused and lacking any meaningful thought. This sure made me feel special...NOT!!

Letter -----------------------------------
Hi Michelle.  My name is ******. I am a 38 year old male that resides in a suburb of ********.  I am 5'10" 190 blue eyes and brown hair. I consider myself bi with the righTG lady.  I would love to learn more about you.  If you want a picture let me know.

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Umm.. Where do I start? It's sure nice to know that you have no clue if your atracted to me. No I don't want to know what you look like, how silly. Why on earth would I ever want a photo. I sure am glad you asked me a lot of questions. Thats what I do when I want to "get to know" somebody. How about you start by READING my profile...

Letter -----------------------------------
Hey Michelle, I am very into crossdressers, and would like to see more of you. I am very familiar with village station, and go there on occasion. Let's trade pics, and see if we have something for each other!

My Thoughts -----------------------------
I'm not a "crossdresser" you dolt. Everybody "wants" to see more of me they just are not willing to do anyting to get that far. Yes let's trade pics you've seen mine so where is yours?? Just what exactly is that somthing?? I really love the cryptic ones, nothing says "he's a keeper" like vauge and noncommital.

Letter -----------------------------------
Hey babe you look hott hopefully we can chat i am in ***** tx but willing to come to you im 25 hispanic amle and email me for pics

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Wow, nothing says class and style like "hey babe" so I guess were dating already?? It's nice to know that your willing to drive all this way for me though. Ummmm.... Not really sure what we could "chat about" maybee if you had said somthing more interesting I would be more interested in you.

Letter -----------------------------------
Hi Michelle.  I'm *****.  I live in ******.  I go to S4 everynow and then too.  I would love to meet you maybe have some drinks or a bite to eat and get to know one another.  I'm a white male 5'10 150lbs short brown hair and green eyes and I'm 32.

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Why do all of you guys always tell me your height and weight and age??? I'm more interested in if you have a PERSONALITY than how tall you are. I sure wish you could read my ad and figure out by looking in the mirror if your what I'm attracted to. Oh thats right I said, Honest, kind, hopefully rich but able to take care of yourself. Glad your paying attention. This one actually is not to bad. He did offer to meet me someplace I like and at least try to get to know me. To bad he never showed up, thats right ladies, he never showed.

Letter -----------------------------------
was up sweetheart i will take any way i can i would love to meet you i am also looking for a relationship what you think remember i like to give and recieve

My Thoughts -----------------------------
This guy is such a complete moron I can barely comment. Only my closest freinds call me sweetheart, or any other term of endearment. Have you ever actually seen or spoken to a living breathing woman? Your porno colection does not count. No woman likes to be talked to like this, it's degrading. Go back to school and don't drop out this time.

Letter -----------------------------------
hi , im a 33yo married  guy in *****,tx<45 minutes from *****> seeking a girlfriend...u look hotter than any woman i've ever seen!.

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Gee let me see ...Be a home wreaker or your side dish. Way to make a girl feel cheap. I'm sure glad your maraige is not working out, if you stop cheating on her it just might survive. I'll admit I liked your honesty. Letting me know I'll never be anyting but a peice of ass to you is refreshing. Too bad you never sent a photo or let me know how well taken care of I would be as your prostitute.

Letter -----------------------------------
white male 40 6ft 190 muscular exec  coming into ****** late jan for 5 days

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Again with the vitals?? Why don't you dummies ever include how big your equipment is?? If I'm supposed to just drop everything and come running I might like to know a few things first, like your NAME!! I'll just clear my schedule for the month since you are to stupid to actually know WHEN you're going to be here. I work with executives, not many are this clueless.

Letter -----------------------------------
hi michelle, my names *****, im so interested in you, i can sweep you off your feet baby write me back..

My Thoughts -----------------------------
Golly I'm so flatered by how you will "sweep me off my feet"??? I can tell you want me bad by how little you wrote. You already blew your chance to sweep me of my feet with this icky note.

Letter -----------------------------------
hey there sexy .. would love to see that sexy ass up close and personal...drop me a line and lets get something started .... we could have some real fun ..hope to hear from you soon

My Thoughts -----------------------------
My name is Michelle, not sexy. So I guess it says I'm a hooker somewhere since you talk like I am. Just exactly what are we going to get started?? I just love being a peice of meat.... What kind of "real" fun?? Is that better than "fake" fun?? Stop using song lyrics for inspiration. Areosmith has made a fourtune becasue THEY are GOOD at it. You are not.

As always the little perl is on it's way. These are just a few examples of why I brush you off, or refuse to talk to you. When you saunter up to me and lay this kind of trash out what does it say about you? Nothing good. Guys if you really want to be with us, and trust me we WANT to be with you. Do somthing creative, be the guy that stands out. I'm displaying your mistakes so you won't make them anymore.

The one thing I fear is that there are a bunch of idiots out there who will read these and actually think their good and send them to some poor girl.

I certainly hope that is not the case and if it is I'm really sorry!!

Just remember You're so Hot!!