If you are, have you ever really thought about why? Have you ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself what am I doing wrong? I have. A lot more than you would believe. Yes dear reader little miss social butterfly who knows everybody has her moments. I don't always get invited to the best parties but I go to my fair share. Have you ever wondered why? Why do I get to go when you don't? What makes me so special? Well if you press onward and can endure the following you'll know the answer.

I might be talking about you or I might be talking to you. I'll never know but you will. I might make you despise me with this article, or perhaps you will love me more. Only you can decide just as it should be. As always I write from the heart and hope my revelations are meaningful to you loyal reader in some small way. With that said, on with the show...

Dolly Parton once said "honey it takes a lot of money to look this cheap" She was right. You can always tell who has spent money and time on their look and appearance. Just as easily you can see who didn't. That girls is what makes Dolly so cool.

Norma and James have always been cool too. I trust you know who they are just by my use of their first names. If not, James Dean and Norma Jean Baker or Marilynn Monroe. Just take a moment and think about them. We all have and image of those two in our minds. What was it that made them so loved? Was it the hair, the leather jacket, or that grate in New York City. We may not agree on why they were so loved but we can all agree that they were loved and admired by millions.

What about Betty? Or John, two more classic icons of cool. Humphrey is my favorite. I'll admit though that Fred's smooth moves with Ginger on the dance floor make me swoon. Oh I know Clark is so dashing it hurts but, Vivian was so undeniably sexy in that white gown it gave me chills. Betty was cool because she had "The look". Vivian was undeniably sexy and you never saw her naked. James was cool and he hardly even spoke. Norma, well duhhh. All of them had "IT" and a lot of girls here do too. I don't know if I do but I am a lot closer than some and farther than others.

Think about the short list of people I've mentioned, what is it about them that get you going. Was it Eldorado? Maybe is was The Maltese Falcon, which is my personal favorite. Perhaps you loved Gentlemen prefer blonds, or East of Eden. When I think about A Streetcar Named Desire it gives me goosebumps, I'll admit when I saw Kitty Foyle I knew why it beat The Letter.

As I dish out this latest missive like mothers apple pie which we all know is never anything but perfect. The Pie not me, I'm clueless. I have to ask the question, What is it about being cool? What is it that makes someone sexy? Sometimes it can be just a phrase, or a look. It can be a really tight skirt or a bomber jacket. The point is we all struggle to be cool. We all want to be admired and thought of in a positive way. How DOES that happen? It happens by doing just the right thing at the right time. DO the wrong thing and viola, your a tramp....FOREVER!

Think about it, If your sixty five and your profile says "hot young thang" your not being cool, you're being dumb. That really low quality webcam shot of your spare tire is not hot, it's gross. Trolling the internet claiming to be a vixen when you look more like a Volkswagen is not aiding you in your quest to be cool. I cant count the number of really poor quality profiles I've seen here and on other sites. Does "I love to shop and wear heels" really tell anybody anything about you? Or maybe "hot gurl loves to chat and get kinky" what a mouthful that is. For somebody.

What about this jewel "I'm in the closet but I want to explore my fem side", Hmmmmm. So If you're looking in the mirror and thinking your Oh so sexy but act like your 14, Stop it! Cut it out, your not being "interesting" your not being "mysterious", honey you ain't cool. Just because you ended your fifth marriage and are trying to "find yourself" is not a good enough reason to act like a stupid tart, unless that's what your going for. If it is don't leave a comment because everybody knows if a hooker gets out of line she just gets beaten by her pimp. Yes dear I said it, If you talk like some streetwalker and live to dress like one well that's how I will treat you.

I will not show you one bit of respect, why should I? You don't respect your self and you have even less respect for women. Why you ask am I railing against some of my sisters here? Have you looked at some of these "girls"? For clarification go read my nightmare in a red dress column. If you want to be COOL then act COOL. Duhh!!

Girls let me ask you, did you get up today and think to yourself "I want to be a cheap harlot" I doubt it. Well then why on earth do you act that way? Ladies spandex has a load limit... For goodness sake dress you age. twenty something nubile little sex kittens can get away with the bright blue tube top, fifty or sixty year olds can't. Sorry to burst your bubble but You really look bad in those bobby socks and pig tails. What a condescending bitch you say? Who the hell does she think she it telling me how to dress. Well I have to admit I'm a little goofy too but I do know what looks good. Do you? If it's to tight it's the wrong size ladies.

If you want to look like a million dollars then you are going to have to shop someplace other than the thrift store. Your web cam is not an ideal way to show everybody how glamorous you are. It tells everybody how cheap you are. Go buy a decent camera girls!! Quit hiding behind that phony veil of secrecy, You are not Emma Peel. If your wife or girlfriend or whatever finds out, why haven't you told them already? If your lying to them why should I believe your telling me the truth. Being cool is about having courage. It's being who you really are, Why do you think the cool kids always get away with mischief? Duhh!!

It takes a lot of courage to put a profile here. The consequences can be dire for some. I know that. Just ask yourself this, if somebody you know sees you and recognizes you what are they really going to say? Ohhh I saw your picture, I read your profile, Ohhhh. Oh give me a break!! If they are here then they were looking for somebody like you to start with. It's probably a fluke that they found your page. Think about how cool they are for actually being here and how un cool you are for hiding behind a blank profile.

SO.... are you mad, did I hurt your poor little feelings? If I did then you are who I'm talking about. If you have been nodding your head and agreeing thus far well you probably have "IT". I'm sure there will be some who chime in with some diatribe of slander which is fine with me. I love a good debate. Enough with the excuses, enough with the sob stories and the moronic claims about why you cant post a picture. I've actually had people tell me that Jon and Dan wouldn't help them. That is the single biggest lie I have ever been told. Those two guys are absolutely a dream to deal with. I know, I work in the tech field. They are VERY dedicated to making this an incredible experience for all who visit.

Now you have the basics for what you need to start your journey. Have SOMETHING to say, even if its misguided or totally off base. Learn how to spell, Learn how to write. Be PASIONATE. If your going to run around your house in your wife's underwear and claim your a woman then get a clue. Being a LADY is not about seeing how far you can push the envelope with your pictures or the really poorly done fake ones. Prancing around in a teddy when you weigh more than the spruce goose is pretty pathetic. Oh I know it's a "thyroid problem". No honey is a Twinkies problem or maybe a Dolly Madison problem. Your not "big boned" either. Go read an anatomy book before you try that idiocy on me.

If your sitting home alone and playing around at being a woman that's fine. Just stop pretending to be something your not. If your a girl then be a girl. If your some horney jock who wants to just get off with a little naughty talk so be it. Just quit lying about it. We all want to have a little fun. Even this little princess does the deed on occasion.

Ahhh back to the big picture....Ok so NOW you want to know how to get "IT". It's actually a lot easier than you think.

Act your age not your shoe size. Dress your age, quit pretending to be Hanna Montana. Tell us about you, The real you not the delusional fantasy you watched on pay per view yesterday. Get rid of the fake photos, trust me even your worst one is better than your "fantasy one". Use spell check and learn how to write with flair. If you are not passionate about you, then why should I be? Be honest with yourself, and be honest in your profile. I don't spend my time with people who live in a fantasy world. DO YOU? Write more than two sentences. If that's all there is to knowing you, then you are far too uninteresting for me or anyone else to get to know.

If you do all of these things you will be on the path to cool. You may never get there, I haven't yet but I am working on it. Why be a supporting actress when with a little work you could play the lead. You know who she is, the girl everybody flocks to. Why not work at it and be right there with her, instead of hiding in the shadows. Nobody is going to "discover" you if you are to afraid to audition. Just remember though that if you want to be the leading lady you need to act like it. Leading ladies are never tarts. They may play one occasionally, but it's not their feature role.

The next time you sit there late ant night crying and wishing you could find a partner. Ask yourself how good a partner you would be. When Fred and Ginger danced it was magic. Are you the one who leads or the one who falters? How can anyone else see your talent if your to afraid to get on the stage. Grow up. Be an adult. You can handle it. Someday you will get your big break, Your audition will be flawless. If you don't have a profile though that leading man or woman you hope to find might just pass you by.

If you do the right things and I know you can.

You won't be lonely tonight.......

Danielle Hendrix	Re: Are you lonely tonight........ March 18th, 2008 4:13 pm MST Michelle,  you have IT in spades, dear.  Wonderful post - something we can all learn from.  Hot like Marilyn, cool like James ... that's you Michelle.  Stay both.  xoxo Danielle
Michelle Hart	Re: Are you lonely tonight........ March 19th, 2008 4:10 am MST If you were not as hot as you are Danielle I wouldnt have to work so dam hard to keep up. Please go blond so I can be smarter than you are!! Please!! I just cant keep pace with how great of an example you are.