URNotAlone

The RMS Titanic

March 24th, 2008 7:26 pm MST

On Sunday, 14 April 1912 at 11:40 p.m. The RMS Titanic struck an iceberg and in just 2 hours, and 40 minutes it was gone forever. That in itself is quite profound. Construction on Titanic started on 22 March 1909 with the riveting together of the first of the Ship’s steel plates. A little over two years later, the Titanic was launched on 31 May 1911. Titanic was delivered to the White Star Line in early April, and on 10 April 1912, the Titanic left Southampton, England, for her first trip to New York City. Four days later she was gone.

That's a rather profound little bit of history. So what ladies does this have to do with the price of high heels and miniskirts in china. Follow along if you dare for another adventure in womanhood.

Everything mentioned about the Titanic is true and accurate, Check it if you must. It is from the original records maintained at the time of it's sinking. So how does this relate to the pink fog?

I'm sure you are wondering. It's education, a little slice of the puzzle. A simple timeline explaining a catastrophe. And that sisters is the rub. Are you an idiot, clueless, uniformed, uneducated, or just to lazy to look it up. It took me a whopping five minutes to find out that time line. I read three pages on one website and viola. On the scale of pain and suffering I rate it a -7. No difficulty, no real hardship, not very confusing or even overly verbose. I just took a few minutes to do a little research before I wrote my latest column.

So with that we embark on our newest voyage of discovery.

when I meet someone I like to get to know them a little. I ask questions, share ideas, flirt a little, don't we all. Usually you can tell a lot about someone just by what they wear and how they interact with those around them. When you sit there with your date and intently gaze at him what do you see? The rude and callous way he talks to the staff or the quiet confidence he has when he orders the meal.

Is he attentive to you or does he spend his time looking at other women. Was he polite to the staff, or did he leave a tip? How does he speak to you? Is he crude or boisterous? Are his silly jokes actually funny or does he regale you with poetry. Does he know what you like to eat or the movies you like to watch? Was his effort to seduce you worthwhile or just painful. Did he do his homework?

For all of you who are curious, primarily for you lazy ones. Do your own dam homework! I am not your personal dictionary nor an encyclopedia of the Trans gendered. I don't know everything and if I did I wouldn't be here. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the same questions a thousand times a week. Get off your duff girls. Open up a search page and start reading. I swear if one more of you tarts asks me what I wear to work I'm going to explode. Get a bloody clue, read my journals, read my profile, use the internet, go to the library. Quit being so utterly incensed when I lose interest because of your dumb questions.

If I did have all the answers I would be in New York wearing a fabulous silver gown attending a gala with my rich husband. Wouldn't that be nice..... oh well, back to waiting tables...

Recently while chatting away with a girl I was really getting tired of it. The oh so feminine name, the attempted girlie comments, jammed between the male ones and the overall confusion she displayed. The internet is not new. It has been around a long time, there are thousands of sites that can recommend a counselor, or a corset. The number of Makeup books on Amazon alone could sink the Titanic. Quit asking me this stuff. I wear heels to work everyday, I pin my hair up most of the time, and yes I even wear a dress to the office on occasion. I AM A WOMAN!! That's what we do. When I go out I'm a girl when I sit at home I'm a girl. OK!

With that in mind I am not a doctor, I'm not a therapist or a marriage counselor. If your having problems at home with your wife or girlfriend or whatever quit asking my opinion. I have no idea what you should tell her or him. I barley know you. I'm not going to call you and NO you can't call me. However if I do know you and I have a bond with you that is entirely different. I will help you wonderful ladies out in any way that I can. They are a VERY select group of girls on this site, and they know who they are. Do you see the difference, I have done my homework, I have talked to them. I read what they had to say and LISTENED to it. These incredible women have my gratitude, respect and my love. No I'm not a waitress, but I play one here.

With each column I try to impart that diamond in the rough, that elusive pearl of wisdom. Ladies I am on a very long and often painful road. I have had to endure more pain and suffering than I want to think about or remember. When I began this I was ugly and fat and had no clue what I was doing. Over the years I have LEARNED, I have READ, and I have LISTENED to what other girls said. I looked everywhere. I wrote emails to women I didn't know and hoped they would respond. Most did not but I kept searching and reading anyway.

You see what men find attractive is feminine mannerisms, attitudes and behaviors. The boys want to see short skirts and stockings, but that is not what being feminine or female is about. If you are a girl and you approach a woman you need to knock off the childish and not so subtle pandering. I like to talk about all kinds of things. I am more than happy to share my experiences with you. I will answer most questions if you have an earnest point. Keep that in mind when you ask me something. There are things about me that are strictly off limits. Think about how I might feel when you ramble on about how you wish you were me. Honey trust me, YOU do not want to be in my heels.

If you have no clue what you are or where you fit in, how the hell should I know. Get out there and live it. Don't tell me you want to be like me if your to dam scared to walk out your front door. All that does is insult me and all the women like me who have done it. Every one of us started out fat, dumb, and ugly including me your humble hostess. We BECAME what we are through hard work and shear force of will. We have been abused and lied to. We have been laughed at and fired. So quit asking us what it's like. Honestly it's pretty boring most days. The luster and glamour have long since passed.

Sure every once in a while I go down to the promenade deck for a smoke and a drink or two. The rest of the time I go to work and try to live my life. For most of you it's a passing fancy, for me it's the real world. We live it and so can you if you really want to. I will try to recommend places you can go, books to read or even a technique or two I have learned. things like that are just fine, as your stewardess it's my job to help you.

One thing I am not going to do is put your life jacket on you, I'm not going to tell you where to sit in the lifeboat either. You need to figure some of this out on your own. I stopped acting like a girl and started acting like a woman a long time ago. I stopped with the juvenile come on's and asked about hair and shoes. When I was pretending to be a woman in the beginning, I acted like one and now I am one. That girls it what it is really about.

So girls there it is. There's your bon bon of wisdom. If your playing dress up that's fine with me I actually think some of you are way better looking than I am. It's a woman thing with our catty pecking order and stuff you understand. If you are serious and want to stop being a little girl though and grow up to be a woman then crack a book or two. Asking questions is fine but asking the wrong questions shows foolishness. Waiting until the water is flooding your room is the wrong time to put your life jacket on. If you don't even know what a life jacket is that's even worse.

So that's it girls, take this seriously because it is for many of us. Show a little deference to our moods and condescension. We may have already answered your question fifty times today. It's not that we are mean we are just tired. Believe me, I would much rather talk about shoes and when Macy's is having a sale than weather or not YOU should be on hormones. I became what I am now. I practiced and practiced it until is was natural and so can you. Honey I know you can do it!

The random silliness of "gee your so fine" is laborious. Don't misunderstand when I get a PM or a simple note telling me I am beautiful I love it. Like all women I love to be complimented, and for all of you who stop by my page or PM me and say a kind word I am eternally grateful. I really am. I love it when a random stranger just says "hey you look really nice today". My heart melts, and I get all warm and fuzzy inside but if you think that's the way to get the scoop on being a woman you are way wrong.

So ask yourself girls are you the Titanic? The girl who is to big and to lazy to do your own research while heading for the iceberg? Are you ignoring all the things women are telling you because you don't like how it sounds and are to arrogant to heed the warnings. Or are you the Lusitania, the lone ship in the night going at full steam to aide others? I know which one I am, Do you?

It's sink or swim time....