URNotAlone

Fiona’s blog :

This is a strangely
difficult entry for me. Words have always come easily to me, letting me find
just the right phrase to express myself. This time, I find myself at a bit
of a loss (she says, suddenly realizing this could be a particularly long
entry!). After all, how does one describe an event which still has me shaking
my head in faint disbelief?

Like most women, I
always fantasized about meeting "The One," falling in love and
getting married. Unlike most however, I never believed it would happen in
reality.

Thanks to my
not-so-common background, I could never understand what it was to truly love
someone, care for them more than anything else. When my parents had to put our
dog down, I was in college and it was simply a fact to me that Max had been
there when I left, but was gone next time I came home. I had no tears for him
then (so I shed them now, in retrospect), and simply moved on with my life.

So it was that I came
to this point in my life with little experience of genuine human connection. I
can't say 'no' experience, since I've been getting an immersion course lately,
but very little of the kind of connections and experience that most women grow
up with. Thus I didn't really understand what it might mean to someone that I
was simply, openly and honestly myself, all the time. I didn't realize how
refreshing that attitude might be to a person looking for a deep and genuine
connection themselves.

I suppose it also
didn't help matters that I laughed at his jokes (yes, and smiled at the ones
I'd heard before), found his conversations interesting and shared a sincere and
newly revitalized (on my part, at least) faith with him.

When he began to talk
about his feelings for me, I discovered that (to my surprise) I had similar
affections towards him. That would have been quite enough of a revelation to
make my year, believe me. Simply to realize that I could feel
this way about anyone was a profound though very pleasant shock.

He just couldn't leave
well-enough alone, though. Over time, he gave me a shoulder to cry on, a hand
to hold, an ear to bend, and a sense of sincerity so absolute it would have
turned the head of a courtesan. So I guess it's my own fault then that our
feelings for each other grew in proportion. I didn't realize this, of course. I
thought he was just being himself and I'd have a best guy friend forever.

Then he went and did
it. Out on the dance floor, right in front of a Sunday night 'crowd', he goes
down on his knee and proposes, to me!

Shock? Oh yes. Awe?
You bet! That anyone would be so fond of me is a dream come true. Even more
shocking? I didn't even hesitate before saying 'Yes'. I just had to remember
how to speak, is all. It suddenly hit me in that timeless millisecond that in
fact I loved this man, too; truly loved him in a way I never had before, and
was willing, nay, thrilled, to accept his proposal without reservation.

So here
I am, engaged to a man I dearly love, but still in that dizzy, 'did this really
happen?' state that accompanies major shocks. I know it did really happen, and
I know what comes next won't be nearly as easy as saying yes. But you know
what? I don't care. We'll face the challenges, and make a life for ourselves,
together.

Fiona Ward Phoenix, Arizona ● 2008

Cecil’s comment :

My Dear Loved Fiona…

I will not do a disservice to my Deep Love for you by attempting to express in
mere words my devoted Love for You ... Fiona My Dear Love.

I will say I truly cherish every precious word you wrote here expressing Your genuine
love for me….

We are indeed the pure definition of Soul Mates …

In the darkness of the Universes … we each had the courage to look to the
heavens …. Looking for our complement ‘Star’ … Without regard for the danger of
not looking down to see where we were traveling… Choosing to live as our own
True Soul, and not the role others would write for us and others… We Took ‘The
Leap of Faith’.

The reward was as God provided. I saw Your Light in The Heavens… And had the
faith to move ever closer… and as I did was again rewarded by Our God… I was
allowed to see ‘In You’ and saw... felt… Your Soul…

Then the miracle happened… You were in the same state of acceptance. You Looked
inside me… all the way to my truest Soul.

I feel sure what happened then was the same that took place in the beginning of
creation… and continues to do so in the evolution of God’s grand plan. ‘We
became Us’… Without losing ‘Ourselves’ … we combined the component we are to
become the Whole ‘Us’. The Marriage God had wanted when he created each of our
Souls.

We are The Marriage Of our Souls… Not a blend… rather the completion of Our
Whole. (Gosh… what would I
had said if I did try and use mere words? : )

All my devotion and
Love to You Fiona… … My Wife of all
my Past, Present and Future Life’s.

Cec Phoenix, Arizona ● April 2008