It appears that the case of the missing journal entry postings has been SOLVED!
I can see from my own list of the number of journal entries posted on my site that last June 4th was a busy day. I know I have posted quite a few journal entries over the years but not 53 of them!!! I can talk and write alot but . . . . .
Trying to repair the site the guys posted over 30 test entries on my site in just a few hours! When the site recently got repaired these disappearing journal entries suddenly reappeared. I just noticied this and have spent time deleting the test items.
I would suggest that everyone go delete repetative journal/test items to cut down on the clutter.
Thanks Dan & Jon for the great work in making Urnotalone such an awesome place!!! You have proved yourselves again!
It is that time of year and yesterday's/today's snowstorm just seems to add to the festive mood of Christmas. I know that getting ready for the holidays can be stressful and painful.
I enjoy all the bright lights, good cheer, parties, the presents, and Xmas dinner. But let us remember the true meaning of Xmas. It is the day that we celeberate the life of one person and the meaning of what it is to strive and have a better planet to live on.
Enjoy your holidays no matter your belief system!!!!!
The other night while I was watching the news it was annouced that here in Dallas a brand new "law" would be handed down and used to further punish those of us who have commited no crime. Those of us who have done nothing to the pathetic and pitiful "victims" who have cried foul for years. I have never met you, nor have I said a crass word to you until now. I have tried to stop your endless crusades of ignorance before, but alas my right's are far less important than yours aren't they.
As many of you know I frequently offer my suggestions and perhaps some questionable wisdom for the many wonderful people here in the URNA family. In the grandest sense I have compassion and love for each of you, but some of your efforts and actions are insanly ludicris and impossibly idiotic.
You don't know me but that really doesn't matter. It's your mission in life to punish me and harass me. You have taken it upon yourself to cost me even more money at every turn. That wasn't enough for you though, you wanted more from me. You forced me to stand out in the snow, and the rain. Why should you care if I catch a cold. You got your way like the screaming little brat in a store who has a mother that just can't say no. Your whining temper tantrums are the stuff of legend.
Oh you cry, and flail about in an never ending quest to be validated for your own stupidity and disrespect. You only care about YOU! Nobody else matters. Not the people that will lose their jobs, not the busineses that will lose revenue, certainly not the companies that initially built this nation.
Did you know that all you have today is because of them? You don't care though because you got to force me to give up one more thing that I enjoyed. Desperately hopeing you could taste something other than the meaningless life you live now. Am I being to hateful or harsh for you? Well you have treated me with disdain and contempt for years but you never noticed it. You were far to busy dreaming up your next cause and looking for the newest idiotic crusade.
You are to much of a coward to risk anything at all. You have never been willing to start your own business and cater to those who share your opinion. You were not willing to invest all you had to build something up and gain a loyal customer base. No not you. That was far to difficult, and you knew it would fail eventualy anyway. So you decided to punish those who did do it instead. Why should you put your hard work and effort into something and risk failure? You would never ever do that, it's so much easier to hide behind someone else and throw your intolerance around.
Why should you care if a business has to close it's doors, why should you care if YOU are the cause of that inconveinience. You got your way and finally got to punish the evil doers like me who just happened to be enjoying something you don't like. It never crossed your mind to go someplace else. Oh that's right, those places were not nearly as much fun were they?
Respect for others was never very easy for you was it? So you run your Ad's on the tele, you have your websites and claims of percieved malice. All the while totally ignoring not only the history of this country but those of us who still believe in freedom of choice. Yes my dear, that's right. You lack the most basic of intelligence, you fail in understanding and accepting those simple words. I am sure it's just impossible for you creatins to understand, that anyone could actually have the ability to live their own life without your intrusive and totally misguided wisdom!
You have a choice. Yet, you would do all that you can to ensure that I'm not allowed one. You decry the trauma that I cause you, the pain you feel, the suffering you endure. Oh yes honey you are no different from the petulant lout of a child who did'nt get a lolly pop.
The sheer disdain and contempt you show for me and others is deplorable.
You see my right's as written in the constitution to pursue life liberty and happiness mean absolutely nothing to you. You and the other uneducated brigons have taken it upon yourselves to transfer your inherent misery onto me and others. While I and others try to casually enjoy our evenings out, or just relax at home, you fume and plot and scheme in evermore creative ways to dictate my actions and limit my personal decisions and choices.
Misery loves company and you just can't wait to make everyone as miserable as you.
It's not enough that I have tried to work with you by sitting outside in the cold, or at the back of reasteraunts where I can't apreciate the veiw. No that just was'nt enough, it never will be. So you cried more and more. You complained and no matter what I or anyone else did to make you happy it just was'nt ever enough.
As long as you get your way, it does'nt matter if I have to suffer right? You have forced me to give up the thing's that I used to be able to enjoy in peace. To you EVERYTHING is a problem for you to solve and control. Would you devise a polite and respectful resolution to your egregious and intelectually vapid claims of suffering? Never! That's far to mature and respectful for you.
So I write this open letter to you, the pathetic whining child, the denzien who cares only about yourself and your "rights" but nobody elses. You wretches who have shown such utter and total comtempt for me as an adult. You, who delusionally belive that it is somehow your responsibility nay your "right" to intrude on my life and ruin my relaxation and enjoyment no matter the cost.
You have taken so much from me and others yet have given NOTHING back.
You are a parisite that eagerly sucks the life out of everything around you. As long as you get to decide how everyone else lives, what they eat, or even what they are allowed to drive you're happy.
Unfortunately for you that will never be, YOU will never be happy! YOU will never be content! So today I just wanted to say how much I despise you, how much I loath you and your ilk.
Becasue of YOU I can no longer enjoy a cigarette or a cigar at the Village Station or any other bar or resturaunt in Dallas.
Feel free to let me know what other choices of mine you would like to take away....
Oh and my final two words to you, one these words is “Up.” The other is a possessive pronoun.
What the hell am I doing? I moved out of LA because it was so stiffling then I get here to Arizona and before the month is out I had slept with 6 guys. Then I get pissed at myself and swear I will never do it again but the next week there I am on my back again making some guy happy. I get all femmed up and watch as even my voice changes ok well maybe I listen you cant really watch your voice change now can you?
On a lighter note Im having this dream where I find a bar of soap in a box so not just soap thrown in the street. On the box is a picture of a hot girl. I was with the soap and become that girl on the box. Turns out she is a stripper so now I am dancing at the local gentlemans club. One question why on earth is it called a GENTLEMANS club.
Im Nicole James and I am not really sure I approve this message
I hope that all of you have a great Thanksgiving. We all have, though it may not seem that way many times, so much to be thankful for. The next time you get down emotionally remember that things could be a whole lot worse. Many people are in that predicament.
WOW! It has certainly been a while since I posted something in my Journal. So, I guess it is time to write a little something about how things have been going in my life.
Life has been very busy this year, and interesting. During First Event this year I had a consultation with Dr. Mark Zukowski and had secured a date for my FFS. It was to have been July 17th of this year. I met with the HR rep at the company I work for – I’ll call her Sara - and let her know of my transgendered situation and my plans to transition. She was very supportive and understanding and had indicated that some of the guys at work had actually noticed changes in my appearance and some were actually taking bets that I was actually transitioning!! How about that!!!!!
My plan had been to go on medical leave and have my surgery. I had no intentions to return to work there because I did not think that was possible - I did not think it would at all be accepted. My therapist has been telling me all along that I might be surprised and that it may very well be possible to transition where I work, but I just did not think so. That is until Sara from HR called me into her office one day for a talk.
Apparently Sara in HR had to discuss with the company owner my request for medical leave for my FFS. Naturally, she needed to explain what it was all about. The owner was very understanding and indicated that if I wanted to return he would insure there would harassment would not be acceptable. WOW! I never expected that. So, my plans earlier this year moved forward in that direction…to at least have FFS and then worry about work after.
Unfortunately, an injury from October ’07 was coming back to haunt me. Last October I started having bursitis in my right shoulder. At the time my orthopedic doctor had given me a shot of cortisone and indicated everything should clear up in time. Then a week later all hell broke loose – a tendon in my arm had snapped. He said it was a common sports injury and he sees lots of them. At that point he made me have an MRI and the pictures indicated I had not only snapped that tendon but I had also torn my rotator cuff slightly, not bad but there was definitely a partial tear. He put me through about 5 months of physical therapy but when I wasn’t progressing we scheduled rotator cuff surgery for April 15th.
Mid April came and I decided to hold off on the surgery because I wanted to have the FFS first. By June my shoulder had worsened and another picture indicated the tear had become worse, probably because of all the darn snow shoveling I did this past winter (we had ton’s of it in the Mount Washington Valley). So, rotator cuff surgery was scheduled for July 22nd and my FFS was rescheduled for next June. At work, my plans for medical leave for my FFS turned into a medical leave for shoulder surgery. Oh well. Life isn’t perfect I guess.
Prior to surgery my doctor indicated that he was hoping to only have to go in laparoscopiclly and clean things up. He did not think incisions and a full-blown cuff repair were necessary. That did not matter to me…surgery was surgery and I was not looking forward to it no matter what. The big thing is the recover time would be minimal if he only had to do a minimal repair. However, and he let me know it with certainly, if he got in there and things had worsened a more in depth surgery would be necessary and I could expect a much longer recovery period.
Unfortunately that is just what happened. When I woke from recovery he was standing at the foot of my bed with his arms crossed. I felt like I was being reprimanded for doing something wrong!!! He told me he could not repair everything laparoscopicaly and that he had to do a much larger incision and much larger repair than we had hoped for. Apparently I must have really screwed it up over the winter.
So, here I am. It has been almost 8 weeks since my surgery and I am out of work on disability and attending Physical Therapy three times a week. I have a lot of help though as my girlfriend – the love of my life – is taking great care of me. Thank God for her! At this point I am living in Connecticut. My shoulder recovery is progressing but it is progressing slowly due to all the scar tissue which has developed. My surgeon had indicated a recovery period of up to 6 months or more. Luckily I have great disability insurance so I am covered financially. I’m really looking forward to getting back to a full recovery….it is just going to take time.
So, what about my transition? My transition is going well! I have very little electrolysis left. I see my endocrinologist in a few weeks and that visit will mark an entire year on HRT. The changes have been phenomenal!!! My girlfriend doesn’t think I’ll ever need implants! It certainly is surprising how well the hormones have treated me. I’m really looking forward to FFS next June!
So, where am I going from here? Time will tell. When (and where) I return to work really depends on when my surgeon says its ok. It could be another month or more. I’m only into my third week of range-of-motion therapy and there is at least another month of that. Then there will be another 12 weeks of strength training. Even if I do return to work in NH it will probably only be for a short period of time. I am very much settled here in CT and have great work opportunities close by. I really like it here and this is my new home. Staying up in NH 4 nights a week and traveling back to CT each weekend just seems way too much.
So, that is that for now. I hope everyone had a great summer. I’m definitely looking forward to the fall season. That is my favorite time of year next to winter!!!
For now…..take good care everyone!!. Stay safe and stay happy!!! Stop in from time to time and say hello!
Rebeccca Lynn White September 4th, 2008 8:53 pm MDTWell here it is "the starting of a life dream. On Aug 11 2008 I started HRT. It has been to long coming. I am so excited that I am finially taking this action. After just a few weeks, my nipples are score which I was expecting. This is just letting me know that they are getting ready to burst open and grow.
I will try to keep a monthly report going.
This is a test to see if I can input my journal entry. Fingers crossed!
Summer is almost here. I know that 90 degree weather and
95% humidity does not do much for makeup. The season does not always
lend itself to dressing up. The dressed go into the box and the boxes
go into the closest.
Why not slip into that swimsuit and
go on out and get a great tan in a nice secluded surrounding. Or be
more brave and go out in public with a cute, sleeveless top and min
shorts/skirt. Give the guys some "eye candy!"
I am writing this journal entry to see if it will input or not! *Fingers crossed*
Summer is almost here and for many girls the makeup and clothes go into the box and the box goesinto the closet. While makeup does not work well in 90 degree weather and worse in 90% humidity you can still enjoy dressing. How about buying a new swim suit and sunning yourself in a secluded spot? Or if you are more adventuresome go out in public in a smart little outfit or a sleveless top and mini shorts! Give the guys some "eye candy!"
From Ape to Babe – How Far Should a Cross-Dresser go with Digital Photo-Manipulation?
In the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the temporary-transformation pill). At last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web-based community where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so, how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality? I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I. Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually, something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following links and you tell me:
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that Faith is already a gorgeous middle-aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross-dressers it is very hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets, lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo-manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the photos from then (see links below).
It was after seeing how natural my tape-produced cleavage looked that I thought I was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the “authentic tape-created cleavage” shown in the links above:
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others) that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right, Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA, please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel, etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”. I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr account:
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the “virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to shave all my body. In such cases, I have always made it clear whenever I think it might be misleading.
From now on I might continue posting my “body and face alterations” and my “ virtual body snatching” photos exclusively in the new Fickr account, where I will not post any regular photos of me. I am still debating if I should post the original next to the manipulation in the case of those photos that are not my own since I have not used them with permission. I am also debating if I should open the profile to friend adds and the photos to comments but once you read this document, the decisions will have been made and maybe a Pandora Box will be opening. It seems that in this virtual world our appearance will be composed of our own raw material and our, or other people’s, skills to enhance it. We will eventually get to the point where it is not only about how good or bad we look but also how good can our photos be enhanced by ourselves or by others.
It seems that I just can’t keep a blog entry short but if you were able to stand the reading to this point, we have finally reached the end :-). Thank you for your interest and I will appreciate your feedback if you consider it appropriate.
In the Beginning There
Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the
masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an
opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the
temporary-transformation pill).At
last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the
film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined
with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like
us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us.There is rarely a web-based community
where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche.MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook,
Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom
to share this important aspect of our lives.There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG
community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place
where many of us made our debut.We
use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of
course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the
same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can
share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most
important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view).It is through photos that we show our
friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give
or ask for help in improving our image.We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about
and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches
our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting
and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important.How many times have we come across a
profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend?Yes, it is important to have a
face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to
be, appear real to others.Now,
unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these
friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for
real.Every day we see profiles of
people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic
females or photos that are evidently photomontages.Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in
their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not
able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they
honestly wished they had.After
all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence,
values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls,
beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are
not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we
can pass for a beautiful woman.It
is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised
and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or
those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community.There is a strive to look as pretty as
possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here,
and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls”
in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came
Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography
was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop.Yes, we are talking magic here.All of us who have come across
Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the
possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the
program.The dilemma that we face now
is:Is it valid to use Photoshop
or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos?And if so, how much of that magic
should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality?I am sure that there are diverse
opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you
my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not
to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to
correct the color and exposure of my photos.Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore
revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose.I did not consider this practice deceitful
since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do no
URNA DETECTIVES NEWS FLASH! DAN, JON & THE CASE OF THE MISSING JOURNAL ENTRIES!
Karen Reeves December 27th, 2008 8:54 pm MSTHi Everyone!
It appears that the case of the missing journal entry postings has been SOLVED!
I can see from my own list of the number of journal entries posted on my site that last June 4th was a busy day. I know I have posted quite a few journal entries over the years but not 53 of them!!! I can talk and write alot but . . . . .
Trying to repair the site the guys posted over 30 test entries on my site in just a few hours! When the site recently got repaired these disappearing journal entries suddenly reappeared. I just noticied this and have spent time deleting the test items.
I would suggest that everyone go delete repetative journal/test items to cut down on the clutter.
Thanks Dan & Jon for the great work in making Urnotalone such an awesome place!!! You have proved yourselves again!
*Smiles*
~Karen~
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HAPPY HOLIDAY'S 2008
Jackie Lee Thompson December 27th, 2008 8:14 pm MSTHi Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It appears the Journal is now working and we can now post new entries (THANK YOU DAN & JON!!!!!).
So, with that being said, I would just like to wish you all a belated MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And when it gets here......Have A Safe and Happy NEW YEAR!!!!!!
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Merry Christmas 2008 To You All!
Karen Reeves December 20th, 2008 11:51 pm MSTHi Everyone!
It is that time of year and yesterday's/today's snowstorm just seems to add to the festive mood of Christmas. I know that getting ready for the holidays can be stressful and painful.
I enjoy all the bright lights, good cheer, parties, the presents, and Xmas dinner. But let us remember the true meaning of Xmas. It is the day that we celeberate the life of one person and the meaning of what it is to strive and have a better planet to live on.
Enjoy your holidays no matter your belief system!!!!!
*Kisses*
~Karen~
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I Despise You People
Michelle Hart December 12th, 2008 4:44 pm MSTThe other night while I was watching the news it was annouced that here in Dallas a brand new "law" would be handed down and used to further punish those of us who have commited no crime. Those of us who have done nothing to the pathetic and pitiful "victims" who have cried foul for years. I have never met you, nor have I said a crass word to you until now. I have tried to stop your endless crusades of ignorance before, but alas my right's are far less important than yours aren't they.
As many of you know I frequently offer my suggestions and perhaps some questionable wisdom for the many wonderful people here in the URNA family. In the grandest sense I have compassion and love for each of you, but some of your efforts and actions are insanly ludicris and impossibly idiotic.
You don't know me but that really doesn't matter. It's your mission in life to punish me and harass me. You have taken it upon yourself to cost me even more money at every turn. That wasn't enough for you though, you wanted more from me. You forced me to stand out in the snow, and the rain. Why should you care if I catch a cold. You got your way like the screaming little brat in a store who has a mother that just can't say no. Your whining temper tantrums are the stuff of legend.
Oh you cry, and flail about in an never ending quest to be validated for your own stupidity and disrespect. You only care about YOU! Nobody else matters. Not the people that will lose their jobs, not the busineses that will lose revenue, certainly not the companies that initially built this nation.
Did you know that all you have today is because of them? You don't care though because you got to force me to give up one more thing that I enjoyed. Desperately hopeing you could taste something other than the meaningless life you live now. Am I being to hateful or harsh for you? Well you have treated me with disdain and contempt for years but you never noticed it. You were far to busy dreaming up your next cause and looking for the newest idiotic crusade.
You are to much of a coward to risk anything at all. You have never been willing to start your own business and cater to those who share your opinion. You were not willing to invest all you had to build something up and gain a loyal customer base. No not you. That was far to difficult, and you knew it would fail eventualy anyway. So you decided to punish those who did do it instead. Why should you put your hard work and effort into something and risk failure? You would never ever do that, it's so much easier to hide behind someone else and throw your intolerance around.
Why should you care if a business has to close it's doors, why should you care if YOU are the cause of that inconveinience. You got your way and finally got to punish the evil doers like me who just happened to be enjoying something you don't like. It never crossed your mind to go someplace else. Oh that's right, those places were not nearly as much fun were they?
Respect for others was never very easy for you was it? So you run your Ad's on the tele, you have your websites and claims of percieved malice. All the while totally ignoring not only the history of this country but those of us who still believe in freedom of choice. Yes my dear, that's right. You lack the most basic of intelligence, you fail in understanding and accepting those simple words. I am sure it's just impossible for you creatins to understand, that anyone could actually have the ability to live their own life without your intrusive and totally misguided wisdom!
You have a choice. Yet, you would do all that you can to ensure that I'm not allowed one. You decry the trauma that I cause you, the pain you feel, the suffering you endure. Oh yes honey you are no different from the petulant lout of a child who did'nt get a lolly pop.
The sheer disdain and contempt you show for me and others is deplorable.
You see my right's as written in the constitution to pursue life liberty and happiness mean absolutely nothing to you. You and the other uneducated brigons have taken it upon yourselves to transfer your inherent misery onto me and others. While I and others try to casually enjoy our evenings out, or just relax at home, you fume and plot and scheme in evermore creative ways to dictate my actions and limit my personal decisions and choices.
Misery loves company and you just can't wait to make everyone as miserable as you.
It's not enough that I have tried to work with you by sitting outside in the cold, or at the back of reasteraunts where I can't apreciate the veiw. No that just was'nt enough, it never will be. So you cried more and more. You complained and no matter what I or anyone else did to make you happy it just was'nt ever enough.
As long as you get your way, it does'nt matter if I have to suffer right? You have forced me to give up the thing's that I used to be able to enjoy in peace. To you EVERYTHING is a problem for you to solve and control. Would you devise a polite and respectful resolution to your egregious and intelectually vapid claims of suffering? Never! That's far to mature and respectful for you.
So I write this open letter to you, the pathetic whining child, the denzien who cares only about yourself and your "rights" but nobody elses. You wretches who have shown such utter and total comtempt for me as an adult. You, who delusionally belive that it is somehow your responsibility nay your "right" to intrude on my life and ruin my relaxation and enjoyment no matter the cost.
You have taken so much from me and others yet have given NOTHING back.
You are a parisite that eagerly sucks the life out of everything around you. As long as you get to decide how everyone else lives, what they eat, or even what they are allowed to drive you're happy.
Unfortunately for you that will never be, YOU will never be happy! YOU will never be content! So today I just wanted to say how much I despise you, how much I loath you and your ilk.
Becasue of YOU I can no longer enjoy a cigarette or a cigar at the Village Station or any other bar or resturaunt in Dallas.
Feel free to let me know what other choices of mine you would like to take away....
Oh and my final two words to you, one these words is “Up.” The other is a possessive pronoun.
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Sigh
Nicole Samantha James December 11th, 2008 2:02 am MSTWhat the hell am I doing? I moved out of LA because it was so stiffling then I get here to Arizona and before the month is out I had slept with 6 guys. Then I get pissed at myself and swear I will never do it again but the next week there I am on my back again making some guy happy. I get all femmed up and watch as even my voice changes ok well maybe I listen you cant really watch your voice change now can you?
On a lighter note Im having this dream where I find a bar of soap in a box so not just soap thrown in the street. On the box is a picture of a hot girl. I was with the soap and become that girl on the box. Turns out she is a stripper so now I am dancing at the local gentlemans club. One question why on earth is it called a GENTLEMANS club.
Im Nicole James and I am not really sure I approve this message
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GOOBLE GOOBLE GOOBLE-Some November Thoughts !
Karen Reeves November 16th, 2008 10:00 pm MSTHi Everyone!
I hope that all of you have a great Thanksgiving. We all have, though it may not seem that way many times, so much to be thankful for. The next time you get down emotionally remember that things could be a whole lot worse. Many people are in that predicament.
Don't each too much turkey!
*Kisses*
~Karen~
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Untitled Post
Sherryutah October 4th, 2008 3:20 pm MDThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-DPV-vswIM[1 comment]
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Sherryutah October 4th, 2008 3:18 pm MDThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-DPV-vswIM[Comment on this post]
My September 08 Update!
Jackie Lee Thompson September 24th, 2008 8:07 am MDTWOW! It has certainly been a while since I posted something in my Journal. So, I guess it is time to write a little something about how things have been going in my life.
Life has been very busy this year, and interesting. During First Event this year I had a consultation with Dr. Mark Zukowski and had secured a date for my FFS. It was to have been July 17th of this year. I met with the HR rep at the company I work for – I’ll call her Sara - and let her know of my transgendered situation and my plans to transition. She was very supportive and understanding and had indicated that some of the guys at work had actually noticed changes in my appearance and some were actually taking bets that I was actually transitioning!! How about that!!!!!
My plan had been to go on medical leave and have my surgery. I had no intentions to return to work there because I did not think that was possible - I did not think it would at all be accepted. My therapist has been telling me all along that I might be surprised and that it may very well be possible to transition where I work, but I just did not think so. That is until Sara from HR called me into her office one day for a talk.
Apparently Sara in HR had to discuss with the company owner my request for medical leave for my FFS. Naturally, she needed to explain what it was all about. The owner was very understanding and indicated that if I wanted to return he would insure there would harassment would not be acceptable. WOW! I never expected that. So, my plans earlier this year moved forward in that direction…to at least have FFS and then worry about work after.
Unfortunately, an injury from October ’07 was coming back to haunt me. Last October I started having bursitis in my right shoulder. At the time my orthopedic doctor had given me a shot of cortisone and indicated everything should clear up in time. Then a week later all hell broke loose – a tendon in my arm had snapped. He said it was a common sports injury and he sees lots of them. At that point he made me have an MRI and the pictures indicated I had not only snapped that tendon but I had also torn my rotator cuff slightly, not bad but there was definitely a partial tear. He put me through about 5 months of physical therapy but when I wasn’t progressing we scheduled rotator cuff surgery for April 15th.
Mid April came and I decided to hold off on the surgery because I wanted to have the FFS first. By June my shoulder had worsened and another picture indicated the tear had become worse, probably because of all the darn snow shoveling I did this past winter (we had ton’s of it in the Mount Washington Valley). So, rotator cuff surgery was scheduled for July 22nd and my FFS was rescheduled for next June. At work, my plans for medical leave for my FFS turned into a medical leave for shoulder surgery. Oh well. Life isn’t perfect I guess.
Prior to surgery my doctor indicated that he was hoping to only have to go in laparoscopiclly and clean things up. He did not think incisions and a full-blown cuff repair were necessary. That did not matter to me…surgery was surgery and I was not looking forward to it no matter what. The big thing is the recover time would be minimal if he only had to do a minimal repair. However, and he let me know it with certainly, if he got in there and things had worsened a more in depth surgery would be necessary and I could expect a much longer recovery period.
Unfortunately that is just what happened. When I woke from recovery he was standing at the foot of my bed with his arms crossed. I felt like I was being reprimanded for doing something wrong!!! He told me he could not repair everything laparoscopicaly and that he had to do a much larger incision and much larger repair than we had hoped for. Apparently I must have really screwed it up over the winter.
So, here I am. It has been almost 8 weeks since my surgery and I am out of work on disability and attending Physical Therapy three times a week. I have a lot of help though as my girlfriend – the love of my life – is taking great care of me. Thank God for her! At this point I am living in Connecticut. My shoulder recovery is progressing but it is progressing slowly due to all the scar tissue which has developed. My surgeon had indicated a recovery period of up to 6 months or more. Luckily I have great disability insurance so I am covered financially. I’m really looking forward to getting back to a full recovery….it is just going to take time.
So, what about my transition? My transition is going well! I have very little electrolysis left. I see my endocrinologist in a few weeks and that visit will mark an entire year on HRT. The changes have been phenomenal!!! My girlfriend doesn’t think I’ll ever need implants! It certainly is surprising how well the hormones have treated me. I’m really looking forward to FFS next June!
So, where am I going from here? Time will tell. When (and where) I return to work really depends on when my surgeon says its ok. It could be another month or more. I’m only into my third week of range-of-motion therapy and there is at least another month of that. Then there will be another 12 weeks of strength training. Even if I do return to work in NH it will probably only be for a short period of time. I am very much settled here in CT and have great work opportunities close by. I really like it here and this is my new home. Staying up in NH 4 nights a week and traveling back to CT each weekend just seems way too much.
So, that is that for now. I hope everyone had a great summer. I’m definitely looking forward to the fall season. That is my favorite time of year next to winter!!!
For now…..take good care everyone!!. Stay safe and stay happy!!! Stop in from time to time and say hello!
Love,
~ Jackie Lee
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Rebeccca Lynn White September 4th, 2008 8:53 pm MDTWell here it is "the starting of a life dream. On Aug 11 2008 I started HRT. It has been to long coming. I am so excited that I am finially taking this action. After just a few weeks, my nipples are score which I was expecting. This is just letting me know that they are getting ready to burst open and grow. I will try to keep a monthly report going.[Comment on this post]
THIS IS ONLY A TEST! SOME JUNE THOUGHTS
Karen Reeves June 4th, 2008 7:13 pm MDTHi Everyone!
This is a test to see if I can input my journal entry. Fingers crossed!
Summer is almost here. I know that 90 degree weather and 95% humidity does not do much for makeup. The season does not always lend itself to dressing up. The dressed go into the box and the boxes go into the closest.
Why not slip into that swimsuit and go on out and get a great tan in a nice secluded surrounding. Or be more brave and go out in public with a cute, sleeveless top and min shorts/skirt. Give the guys some "eye candy!"
*Kisses*
~Karen~
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Testing Journal Posting
Karen Reeves June 4th, 2008 7:08 pm MDTTesting basic journal posting for Jon and Dan
Hmm, seems to work. Not sure about everything.
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THIS IS ONLY A TEST! SOME JUNE THOUGHTS
Karen Reeves June 4th, 2008 6:36 pm MDTHi Everyone!
I am writing this journal entry to see if it will input or not! *Fingers crossed*
Summer is almost here and for many girls the makeup and clothes go into the box and the box goesinto the closet. While makeup does not work well in 90 degree weather and worse in 90% humidity you can still enjoy dressing. How about buying a new swim suit and sunning yourself in a secluded spot? Or if you are more adventuresome go out in public in a smart little outfit or a sleveless top and mini shorts! Give the guys some "eye candy!"
Enjoy the great weather!
*Hugz*
~Karen~
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From Ape to Babe, Ramblings in Photo-Editing
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 11:24 am MDTFrom Ape to Babe – How Far Should a Cross-Dresser go with Digital Photo-Manipulation?
In the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the temporary-transformation pill). At last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web-based community where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so, how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality? I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I. Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually, something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following links and you tell me:
http://blog.sessions.edu/graphic-design/photo-retouching-the-delicate-balance/
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that Faith is already a gorgeous middle-aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross-dressers it is very hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets, lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo-manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the photos from then (see links below).
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=64501063&albumID=1148889&imageID=11241782
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/489126232/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2420393557/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/999288280/
It was after seeing how natural my tape-produced cleavage looked that I thought I was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the “authentic tape-created cleavage” shown in the links above:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2467940763/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2264700419/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2067365114/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/739261488/
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others) that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828866/
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right, Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA, please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel, etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/967913811/
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”. I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr account:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828858/
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the “virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to shave all my body. In such cases, I have always made it clear whenever I think it might be misleading.
From now on I might continue posting my “body and face alterations” and my “ virtual body snatching” photos exclusively in the new Fickr account, where I will not post any regular photos of me. I am still debating if I should post the original next to the manipulation in the case of those photos that are not my own since I have not used them with permission. I am also debating if I should open the profile to friend adds and the photos to comments but once you read this document, the decisions will have been made and maybe a Pandora Box will be opening. It seems that in this virtual world our appearance will be composed of our own raw material and our, or other people’s, skills to enhance it. We will eventually get to the point where it is not only about how good or bad we look but also how good can our photos be enhanced by ourselves or by others.
It seems that I just can’t keep a blog entry short but if you were able to stand the reading to this point, we have finally reached the end :-). Thank you for your interest and I will appreciate your feedback if you consider it appropriate.
Hugs and best regards to all,
Cristy.
[3 comments]
From Ape to Babe - How Far Should a Cross-Dresser go with Digital Photo-Manipulation?
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 11:22 am MDTIn the beginning there where men trying to look like women...
As soon as digital photography....
[Comment on this post]
From Ape to Babe - How Far Whould a Cross-Dresser go with Photo-Manipulation?
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 11:16 am MDTIn the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of
us, cross‐dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top
of our wish list (second only to the temporary‐transformation pill). At last, we
would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for
processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for
creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a
dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web‐based community where
TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo
360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of
friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also
portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention
Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use
our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos
with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we
have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world
this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I
am talking from a cross‐dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show
our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give
or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people
who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as
possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so
that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are
developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a
profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it
is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the
woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity
to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be
completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people
pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or
photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like
to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are
not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they
honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor
beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross‐dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more
appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with
being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful
woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular,
praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or
those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to
look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include
myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other
“girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo
editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us
who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to
resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our
skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use
Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so,
how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality?
I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and
following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with
examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure
of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and
leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful
since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it
sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing
tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me
being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I.
Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually,
something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing
deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we
see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been
heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following
links and you tell me:
http://blog.sessions.edu/graphic‐design/photo‐retouching‐the‐delicate‐balance/
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that
Faith is already a gorgeous middle‐aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make
her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and
slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is
removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the
article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in
detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples
of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click
on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it
was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage
and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the
perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link
below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is
produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair
we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a
good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us
are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects
that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on
their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure
of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and
exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with
Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite
unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross‐dressers it is very
hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is
opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets,
lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the
difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo‐
manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty
electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful
women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In
my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in
reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better
if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I
know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave
my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest
and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to
shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not
believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the
photos from then (see links below).
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=64
501063&albumID=1148889&imageID=11241782
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/489126232/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2420393557/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/999288280/
It was after seeing how natural my tape‐produced cleavage looked that I thought I
was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by
superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that
maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been
touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in
the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you
agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I
like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a
note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the
“authentic tape‐created cleavage” shown in the links above:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2467940763/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2264700419/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2067365114/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/739261488/
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo
editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others)
that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the
way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should
be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further
illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I
prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so
babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend
you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828866/
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right,
Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to
cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA,
please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting
issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it
clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory
note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me
the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages
asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel,
etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is
often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the
photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a
matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started
posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to
mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the
other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/967913811/
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work
shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have
always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped
me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and
just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more
feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting
my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body
snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been
touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”.
I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I
think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other
words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone
thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but
for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all
photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives
me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this
Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr
account:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828858/
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much
of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an
acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one
program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has
told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for
those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not
hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my
case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand
how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed
female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when
they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like
and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the
photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but
as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I
have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the
“virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own
satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to[Comment on this post]
From Ape to Babe, How Far Should a Cross-dresser go with Photo Manipulation?
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 10:40 am MDTIn the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the temporary-transformation pill). At last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web-based community where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so, how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality? I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do no