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Kristine Tarcy Holland

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One More Clued In

July 30th, 2009 6:21 am MDT



One more Clued in!




Well I had an interesting go of it on Friday morning.I was finishing up my shift of watching my mother, and my 2nd oldest of four sisters was relieving me. While catching up with the previous nights events with mom. My Sister asked..." When you were younger Did Mr.... ever.." And I cut her off blerting out. "No he never laid a hand on me. YesI was raped but not by him." And while her mouth still agape, I kicked in, " None of that matters because my biggest challenge is that I am transgender." My poor sister had no idea what question to ask next. First she apologized for my self contained agony over be raped when I was 14. And then she asked me to clarify what I meant by transgender. So I explained how I have been a girl in the wrong body virtually my whole life and tht @ any given time there was no way to actually come out and say it as I was growing up. I went thru a series of events for her to help her understand. She sat there and wept for me. It reached me so very deeply. She wept because she was sorry that I was never able to actually be me. That I had to hide who I really was all of these years. I was touched even deeper when she pledged her love and support for me no matter what. She said she supported me "2000%". Tht was really amazing to hear. I have had a couple ppl make the pledge, including my own father. But there was something so strong about what she said, and how she put it. She showed true unconditional love which is so rare these days. We then were interrupted by other family so our conversation had to end. I soon left for home, and while in a traffic jam, I wasleft to my thoughts. I worried that I had been selfish in dumping this on a single mom of 2, and major caregiver to our invalid mother. Later I called her to make sure she was ok with this bombshell. She reassured me that whathad I disclosed to her was fine with her. She also said the reason she asked about Mr..... was because she was looking for red flags with a current neighbor regarding her own children. With that I concluded if I hadlet her finsh her reasoning earlier, I probably wouldnt have outted myself and only given her the information she needed. She again reassured me that none of tht matters now. We are siblings and she would stand by me no matter my path. I love my sister with a new found level I hadnt felt before. I am so thankful I had jumped the gun and came out to her. I now felt like a load was lifted off.

Thank you Jodi I love you with all my heart! Love Kristine








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