Dean M. L.
Journal Entries for Dean M. L.
Lucy, Myself and Death..
January 9th, 2009 8:15 am MST
We sat side by side Lucy and I, holding hands high in the hills above the town where we had made a home, fleeing from the cruelties of the civilised world.....Holding hands as lovers do, bathed in the ethereal glow of the evenings twilight and embraced by the last light of the suns rays, we sat in comfortable silence. There was no need for conversation, mere words were not necessary between us because in each others arms we had all we needed.
Thats how it is when you are in Love.
Far below me i watched a shepherd bringing in his flock, his black and white dog bounding energetically alongside, while a car lazily traversed the winding road that wound round the valley like a snake, glittering in the fading light. It was a tranquil scene of a world at peace.
Over the distant horizon, the sun hung in the sky, a huge blood-red disc bleeding the last vestiege of it's fire across the crimson vault of heaven, before surrendering to the inevitability of night. Come tommorrow our sun would spread it's wings of light across the earth like a phoenix reborn from the ashes, to banish the darkness that had stolen it's glory.
It was a dependable cycle, one that had continued without pause for millennia, and would doubtless continue for many more, a cycle that we as human beings perhaps took for granted...Yet it could not last indefinately.... nothing lasts forever, and one day the sun must take a final bow and die too.
It would be a long process, a drawn out affair, the suns energies increasing in intensity as it began to feel the effects of it's own aging, as it fought to stave of it's own demise. Then the end would come... The sun would swell many times it's present size, expanding into a blood-red giant to fill the earths horizons; one last defiant stand before night snatched it's victory.
A earth burnt to a cinder; a lifeless dead world that would be plunged into darkness forever as the sun shrank to a tiny pinprick of light in the sky; a remnant slowly fading over a millienia. Gone.
As human beings we are still in our infancy, learning to walk, and still to reach our maturity. One day perhaps we might learn to put aside our differences, stop fighting, these futile quarrels and learn to live in peace with one another. If we could achieve this then maybe we might live to escape this fate, to reach out across the stars on wings of our imagination to find a new home, a youthful corner of the universe where our traditions might be kept alive.
Of course it would only be a temporary reprieve.... As i said, nothing is eternal and one day the universe itself must confront it's own mortality and stare it's own death in the face....One by one those pinpricks of light in the velvet fabric of night would wink out; the light slowly being extinguished, the stage of the cosmos into it's final act as the curtains on the play were finally drawn forever...
Maybe that is mankinds destiny; to wander a dying cosmos like a nomad race, seeking a safe haven, a sanctuary in denial of the finality of the end. Yet, as long as the spark of life flickered, hope would remain alive.
I felt myself shivering as i became aware of Lucy beside me, tugging at me, pulling me from my dark reverie...Darkness had descended upon the land and high above, the stars twinkled in the night sky as we sat side by side still, feeling the warmth of each others bodies.
"You were miles away" She accused me, a smile playing over her lips. It was a smile which had the power to carress my soul.
Her statement threw me. How far away is One and thirty five zeros?
" Thought i was going to have to call search and rescue..." She mocked me with that delightfull giggle that she knew had the power to enthrall me.
I grinned at her, loving her even more at that moment. I held her hand, gazing deep into her eyes. Then she threw me some more...
" I know it's a long process" She began.
Had she been reading my thoughts? I must have looked like a total berk, sitting their open mouthed in astonishment.
She smiled again, that smile that spoke more than words ever could. She continued...
" Yes, i know it's a long process but after the operation we can truly be together at last, to live out our life together as a man and wife, "
We sat for a long time in each others arms Lucy and I, gazing up at the stars that still shone with the vitality of youth. We lived for the moment, the here and now regardless of what the future might hold. We embraced the light. At the end of the day we had each other. We were in love and when all is said and done at the end of the day, that was all that really mattered.
Lucy
November 28th, 2008 12:12 pm MST
I rode the waves, tracing every contour, every valley and every rise, enthralled as I marvelled at the vision of loveliness before me.
I rode into the core of her being, feeling her enfold me in her velvet embrace. Locked together in union, we rode the crest together, thrilling to the waves of our pleasure and of our hearts beating in unison. We rode higher still, seeking release.
I reached the pinnacle of the crest, teetering on its brink, and as I gazed down once again at her loveliness, her body shivering with the anticipation of delight, I knew I could hold back no longer...
We crashed together, as one, allowing the pulsating waves to wash over us, charging us with their afterglow.
For long moments we held each other tight, savouring the moment we both knew must pass, and as her questing blue eyes sought mine, I realised something that i'd known all along, yet had been too afraid to admit. I saw many things in her eyes and now I saw hope blossom in them, swimming to the surface...
I knew that there was no way back for me now, and I did'nt care. There were so many things i wanted to tell her, but I never had a chance to, as I was torn away from her, back into the harsh light of stinging reality by the strident blaring of the alarm clock.
Disorientated and sheathed in a film of sweat, I took in the cold light of the dawn filtering through the curtains. I was alone. Just another day.
Standing beneath the comforting warmth of the shower I was aware that her image, indeed that of the dream itself, was fading, fragmenting as the reality of the day imposed itself on my still waking body. I tried to will her lovely countenance back into my mind ... Just when i thought i had her, i fought to hold on to her as her image rapidly faded away yet again.
Locking the door and feeling the Monday morning blues, i made my way out into the bleak, slate grey day and set off for work.
Largely it was same old faces that greeted me, filled the commuter train as i stepped on board. For the most part they, including myself stared gloomily at the floor or out of a window, in fact anything but make eye contact with a fellow traveller. Feet tapped idly and bodies fidgeted nervously in anticipation of the long day ahead. I guess it was a kind of Monday morning ritual, maybe played out in commuter trains across the world or something.
Raising my eyes from my scrutiny of the floor, i met the eyes of a young lady. The full force of my recognition of her almost knocked me off my feet as i met her blue eyes gazing at me intensely from across the carriage. Judging by the expression on her face, her shock must have been as great as mine at our mutual recognition...
But now she was smiling, a warm smile threatening to break into a grin, making her way over to me, as a twinkle in her eye told me that this not so ordinary day was only just beginning....
A Strength of Family
October 10th, 2008 12:45 pm MDT
A mans might, is not in the strength of his physical prowess
Likewise, a mans prowess is not to be judged on the strength of his conquests...
A mans glory, does not lie in the strength of his achievements;
His power determined by the strength of his wealth;
Nor his pride guaranteed from the strength of his material gain...
Perhaps i might also add, a mans courage is not proven by the strength of his drink!
Only one thing is certain ...
Only one strength endures;
The strength of the love of his family, that surrounds him, truly makes a man great
The beauty Within
June 9th, 2008 2:31 pm MDT
Take heed
For the eye can deceive
Captivated as it is
By the unhidden beauty
Cowed by the crowd
Bound and silenced
Individuality is usurped
Transparent beings we are
I bid you, come closer
Yes, don't be afraid.....
To run free from the crowd
Open up the windows of your heart
Then you might see the beauty of me, within.
