Journal Entries for Ritzi Cade Pleasant
Missing
February 26th, 2007 11:52 am MST
I don't know why but I seem to come so close but I'm always missing the target just a little bit. I almost understood love but I missed it. The proof is I couldn't hang on to the one I loved.I almost understood living in the Now but I can't do it. There's a lot of people missing in my life and I can only find them in the past. I have to go there sometimes.I miss the times when my love and I were together and the love was bigger than both of us. I miss the good times spent on grandparents ranch and farm. I miss my Mom & Dad. They're gone.All my kids are still alive but they're in their 30's and 40's. I miss that little 5 year old girl who used to cry every time I went on a business trip. I miss a lot from the past. I missed the mark on doing the right thing on a lot of stuff that was and is important to me. But I didn't miss at always giving my best. I was wrong a lot but it wasn't because I wasn't trying my best.So I cry sometimes but I don't kick myself.I haven't missed the point that there is still joy to be had in this life.Thank Heaven I didn't miss finding this website URNotAlone because if I missed that I've found to my great surprise that I would have missed becoming acquainted with some very sweet understanding supportive people.I had no idea the warmth and welcome I would find here. Not only that but everyone seems to be sympathetic and not just giving blind sympathy but with intelligent insightful compassion. It's very sweet.I started life as a miss-take but now I've graduated to the Miss I always knew was inside of me.A Miss is as good as a mile is the understatement of the year. A Miss is as good as anything, is as good asshe wants to be. God stopped creating when perfection was achieved in His/Her last creation. I like the way Elton John said it, "There Aint Been No Lookin' Back Since God Invented Girls".Life is good. My aim is improving.
