Journal Entries for Sherri T
Clearing the brush
September 1st, 2011 8:52 pm MDT
Life is always one thing compared against another. And animals seem to come into play often. How hungry are you? Hungry like a horse? How tall are you? Tall like a giraffe. How slow are you? Slow like a snail? How dirty are you? Dirty like a pig? Why do we compare ourselves to animals? Hmmmm
Maybe it is because the manlier we are, the more we appear like them. And one thing in common with them is hair. Other creatures groom it, but we actually try to remove it. Scissors or razors seem like a simple solution, but it grows back. Maybe removing it manually will look better; plucking, waxing. But it grows back. How else can we do it? Ah that fancy light stick call the laser, we can fry out the roots without damaging the skin around.
That works!
I am working on getting away from the animals, and becoming more 'humanly'. There is something about running ones legs against a smooth pair of stocking, the feeling of smooth, no hair, no resistance. I have had a few wax Brazilians, but why subject myself to that repeated pain, when a few blasts of the bright light can solve the problem for ever.
So far, I have had about 10 sessions on my face, that is almost clear now, just a few hairs here and there. My lower legs have been zapped 3 times, so far less each time. I won a free 'Balls and All' from a local laser clinic, so I went for that and a follow up session. Had a session today. Definitely a more painful place to zap so far!
Once the lower legs are clear, I am moving upward to the thighs, then the torso, and finally the (under)arms. That should have all the unwanted hair removed. Let's see if I can get it all started by 2013.
Something to do
August 9th, 2011 9:07 pm MDT
I was bored the other day and had to do something. I had my left nipple vertically pierced. I have had both done horizontally for eons, but the urge hit to perforate the left one again. Once it heals, i want to hang a dangly belly button jewel from there. Can't wait!<P> And yes, I did post a picture in my gallery!
Where to go from here
January 3rd, 2011 8:09 pm MST
With the start of a new year, that question gets asked again.
I have been fighting with that for most of my life. For the longest time, I had covered over the feelings of being in the wrong body. It has taken me many years to establish myself as who i am today. I built my reputation by being 'me'. Or is it really 'me'? I know I want to change. I want to let me femme side show more. I have pulled small changes regularly in my male life. I wear a kilt regularly, my excuse to wear a skirt. Let's not argue if a kilt is really a skirt, because in my opinion, it is a specific type of skirt, one designed for a guy. but regardless, it is a skirt I can wear. I have not bought 'guys jeans' in many years. All mine are from the womens dept. The few pairs of undies i wear are from LaSenza. Noone sees them, so whey not... I had ears pierced many years ago, helps create a feminine image when I have dainty earrings in. I've had a few more hole pierced, making me appear more masculine in some ways, but secretly being part of my feminine fantasy. I have even resorted to wearing heels out on many occasions. They are usually hidden beneath my jeans, but can be heard as i walk along. There is a nice pair of wedge boots i wear regularly, there is a picture in my gallery. So far, only a few comments about them.
By the end of 2011, I have a few ideas i want to put in place. Let's see if I can get them by 2012
1) I want to add my female name into my present one, so it appears on official papers. I have heard that this will make it easier in the big picture when I remove my male name from the records. Not much of a big deal, except i can then officially open a bank account and get a credit card as my real self.
2) As I move to remove the 'maleness' from my life, I also want to start on some meds or herbs to stop the testosterone from coursing thru my veins. The less 'male' in my system, the better i will feel, the more I will become 'me'. Once that is in place, feminization can begin in full force. Looking femme on the outside will help me fell fuller.
3) I do want to keep getting laser hair removal to clear more areas. My face is almost complete, I think the legs and chest are next. Might even add a Brazilian in there along the way.
4) Change my wardrobe. Get rid of more male clothes. I already have a large collection of heels, now to expand it to more colors than black. I have a passion for black patent shoes, but I do have to branch out.
5) Get my belly button pierced. Just because!
6) Come out to a few of my close friends. Currently, only two friends know. Some more might have guessed, but i have not confirmed it to them.
If all goes according to my plan, I can move steps closer to my ultimate goal of SRS and living life to the fullest as a woman. I've lived the first half of my life as a guy, i want to live the second half as a girl!
FULL BODY LASER
August 15th, 2010 11:08 pm MDT
I found a good deal for Full Body Laser Hair Removal on Craigslist. So I had my first session. When I got there, I found out that the tech who was supposed to do my appointment was out of town. Thanks for calling ahead to tell me this! Oh well. i was already there, so they offered me a second tech. Scary moment number ONE: I was her first solo 'full body guy'. She had done one in training, but not alone yet. Kinda scary, but ya gotta learn some time. Off to the room we go, I get undressed, and it begins. I was getting everything removed from the neck down, except a little landing strip. Scary moment number TWO: She only had one pair of safety glasses. "Oh here, use my sunglasses, but keep your eyes closed" she says. Yikes! As we got started, she was spreading the goop on me. it was a bit cold, but workable. Then the zapping began. Around the neck was not too bad, not much hair there. The chest had a few ouch moments. The worst parts are where you have course, dense hair. For some reason, the knee caps were painful to zap, plus the worst part this time was between my butt cheeks. A place that seldom sees daylight, let alone a blinding light to zap those pesky hairs. I think I'll survive!
The session ended well, but it had its scary and painful moments.
I booked my follow up session for Sept 4th. i know there will be less body hair that time, so it should be less painful. I am going to stick to my other Tech to finish off my facial hair.
A few extra holes.
June 24th, 2010 2:49 am MDT
While growing up, one of the things I looked at as being very feminine was pierced ears. It was a girl thing, but I had seen a few boys with it done. Growing up in a conservative family, I knew it was not something this boy could have. I had experimented a few times with a sewing needle thru my lobes, I loved the look, but had to keep them metal-free, in order to maintain the peace around the house.
When I finally moved out of the house, moving all the way across the country, I finally had my lobes perforated. I had 5 holes pierced in my left ear (3 lobe, 2 cartilage) and 1 in my right. I had them done during a layover between flights. When I landed, I was nervous, so i removed the one in my right lobe. During that year away, I had more holes pierced in my ears, but in the end, stayed with the 3/2 in my left ear, and added 1 in my right cartilage.
Fast forward a 5 years. I finally had the nerve to keep a stud (then a ring) in my right lobe. That one hole multiplied into 3 lobe hole over the next few years.
My nipples seemed bare, so I pierced those with a large sewing needle and some small gold rings. As crooked as they were, I loved the way they looked, but had them professionally pierced a few years later. I keep nylon curves barbells in there all the time.
It was New Years Eve 2002. I had experimented with a few other perforated body parts, when I finally had my left nostril done. One tiny stud lived there. it you looked at it, you might see the tiny gold ball. In 2007, I had my right side done, to even it out. I seemed to be on a symmetry kick, as I also had both Tragii (or is that traguses) done.
I have had a few holes pierced in other parts, including my 'little friend' down there. I was hoping that with proper placement, that hole would help curb my TG feelings. As you can tell, it didn't!
As time goes on, I keep feeling the urge to get something else poked. I have a few ideas, so over time, i will give them a try. If all else fails, i can always remove them, and let them grow over.
I'll let you know when I get the next ones. By the way, if you have been debating about getting your ears done, GO FOR IT! I have not had a single negative comment.
Some great quotes
May 17th, 2010 9:34 pm MDT
I see many quotes from many people. Some stand out in my mind. Here are a few, more added as i remember them.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
XXX is thinking: "I'll regret this when I'm nominated for the Supreme Court!"
YYY is thinking: 'puts the bra back in "abracadabra"'
ZZZ said "No heel is too high, when pointing towards the sky"
- "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." ~Sir Winston Churchill~
- "Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do."~Lee Entrekin~
- "Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function." ~AuthorUnknown~
- "Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture."~Jacquelyn Mitchard~
Feeling natural
February 1st, 2010 1:01 am MST
For the longest time, i was all worried about what others would thing when they see me dressed differently than 'usual'. I have been showing 'guy' for most of my life, but recently, have been venturing out more in an androgynous mode, including short skirts, and exposed heels. Because of the weather, I usually end up with a coat on, but still... Surprisingly, no comments, no remarks that I can hear after I pass, nothing! I am quite surprised that nothing is said. I am not trying to look extremely feminine, just trying to be me, wearing something comfy. Is society becoming more tolerant of differences, or am I just being ignorant to it?
Something to wear
October 31st, 2009 12:23 am MDT
I just had to do it. Feeling like i wanted to just go freestyle for the day, I went out shopping (in guy mode) wearing a 14 inch denim kilt, a pair of semi-opaque black pantyhose over my fishnets, while wearing my Miz Mooz 2 inch heel boots. It was cold and rainy out, so I had a plain jacket as well. I did some shopping, but bought nothing, then got my hair trimmed. My stylist loved the look. I might have to do it again this weekend.
Baby Steps, Baby Steps
September 12th, 2009 8:36 pm MDT
Slowly making things happen. Making changes in my life, my appearance. I have been letting my hair grow out for the last few years. Even after having about 5 inches cut of earlier this year, it is still at my shoulders. I am continuing with my laser hair removal on my face. I can see major improvements, but still a few places where it needs a few more sessions. I have been dressing more androgynously over time. The only jeans I own came from the women's dept. Depending on where I am going, I wear heels often. I have been asked about them once, and just responded 'Because I can', and that was the end of it.<p>
I have been seeing the gender councillor at the local clinic. Slowly opening up to him about my past and my issues. If all goes well, I should be getting some hormones soon. 
<p>
I am working on my makeup techniques. Still have along way to go, to make it look natural. Might have to take some lessons in person as opposed to the tutorials on YouTube.<p>
I took a quick trip to Vegas a few weeks ago, and wore my stilettos from home, to the flight, then all the way to Vegas. I had to change out of them once I landed, the friend I was staying with is a bit conservative. I wore them on the flight home, but took them off before leaving the airport.
FIrst steps
May 13th, 2008 12:15 am MDT
Still searching for the answers. I guess it is a never ending quest. I feel that I want to change. I chatted with a friend in WA who is a Doctor in Traditional Chinese Medicine. She has figured a herbal cocktail to help transitioning into the woman I feel that I am. We keep trying to get together so I can acquire some meds, but there always seems to be something in our way. One of these trips south, I will make it happen. In the mean time, I have started laser treatments to remove my facial hair. I don't grow alot, so it is not a major task, but do have enough so it has to be done. I shaved my legs for the first time this summer. I used to shave them as the temps warm up, but hadn't in the past few years. It is nice to feel the smooth skin. Note to self, get leg hairs lasered off soon.
Christmas 2007
December 25th, 2007 3:03 am MST
Being out of work for a month has really sucked, especially leading into the Xmas season. On one hand being broke has kept me at home more, so in reality, out of trouble. But being at home has given me more time to think about my feelings, figure out how I fit into this gender spectrum. I chatted with a councilor last week. It was a good chat. It reaffirmed to me that I am not alone in my thoughts. There is a drop in support group that meets weekly, so I will try to make a few of those meetings in Jan. I think it will help clear things up as well. So where does this all lead? I am not sure. Some day I will find the answer I am looking for, but in the mean time, hopefully keep a smile on my face.
