Wow I can't believe that after 6+ months of planning that Racheal and I are really here. The drive was so long, the truck and trailer was over loaded and made driving very slow. on average we managed about 55 miles per hour except going up hills which might slow us down to 40+ The scenery was so beautiful literally breath taking! I felt such a sense of belonging. Racheal and I, have meet some really cool people since getting here. Of course we left behind things we thought we had brought that sucks as it's a really long drive to storage so we will have to make do! Last evening we started venturing out around town to see some of the area and learn where some things are. "of course we did this at Midnight so traffic would not be so bad for us to drive slowly. Tomorrow I go into my new office and meet my new boss, I'm looking forward to getting back to work.
Racheal took me on a walk to a special park that means a lot to her. We had a wonderful time walking around the winding streams and viewing the hillside how it's been carved out of the surrounding stone. We took pictures from my phone and I am hoping she will post them to my computer so I can post them on this site. I love her so much and it is such a honor to have her show me places that mean so much to her.
I did something I rarely do anymore, I stopped by a church and went inside mainly to dodge the rain and use the bathroom. But I did stop in the chapel area for a few minutes. I have always considered myself to be a fairly spiritual person and I know I have thought of this before but feel moved to express it to best of my ability. "God made each and every one of us in his image and by his own hand, yes he even made us transsexual people, he made the gays, lesbians, bisexuals. He made us for a reason and with a purpose upon this earth. But yet it is the christian s who persecute us and prevent us from being who we are and from receiving the same rights as those who conform to the church standards of the "man made laws" of what is right and wrong. because of this we can't marry and we do not receive the same rights as others. As I sat their looking up at that cross at our savior I could not help but think this is not the church he created. It is mans creation and not the divines creation".
So we grabbed some Chinese tonight for dinner - after working in storage and packing and running errands and disposing of stuff and just being busy getting things ready to go. And what is Chinese without a fortune cookie? Well for Anna it would be a lot less papery.
What? You might ask.
I would answer by saying - I asked her what her fortune said. She looked at me, stopped chewing, pulled the chewed fortune out of the cookie mess in her mouth and read it to me - 'You have the wisdom of the ages'
Last evening when we where coming from Peru IN coming home. ( my job entails me working as a canvasser going into small towns and talking to people) Anyhow we where in the company Suburban (I am a feild manager and this was my crew all 6 of us). It was snowing and roads (Hwy 24) was very slick. My driver was being cautious but we hit a slick spot on the hwy and lost control of the vehicle.We shot across the medium and across a dual lane Hwy slamming into two ditches and nearly rolling the burb over several times. Luckfully no one was hurt other than bruising and body aches. Beefcake our nick name for our burb is not in as good of shape but kept us safe.
The first thing I thought of was "NO not now I can't die yet I'm not a girl yet" and my second thought as we where about to crash was. God how much I love Racheal and we are just getting started in our lives together. Would I be able to tell her I love her?
This past week Racheal and I watched a French film that I will call living in pink. It was about this little boy who dreamed of being a girl and all the hardships he had to indure as well as his family. It really hit home on so very many levels for me, expecially how he felt he was different and in the wrong body. His desire to dress and play as a girl, until the parents took him for therapy. This part did not happen to me as I did as he did later in the movie. I just became who my parents wanted me to be a boy! I often wished I had the courage to transition earlier in life instead of waiting until now.
At this point in my life it is difficult to undo all the stuff we pretended to be for so long all the manorisms, body posturing, even mental thinking. I am feeling more and more like who I am suppose to be everyday. most of that is a thanks to my wife Racheal who is trying to help me live and be myself.
My parents are just like that boys parents, they can't or will not try to understand. I have now been labled a drug user by my own father. Because he is certain that is why I am not acting and responding to his demands and ideas of who I am suppose to be, a carbon copy of himself.
Anna and Racheal November 1st, 2008 6:32 pm MDTWow my new job I took back in September even though I do not get paid very well has an office in Austin Texas. Now at long last Racheal and I get to move to the place we want to live. This past weekend I went to a national conference and talked with the Austin crew. I am excited to be able in a couple months to move, knowing that we have a job when I get thier. Then all we have to do is find Racheal something work wise. I have hopes that I can go to college but will need to enter the community college to take a few courses first.
Wish us luck!!
Anna and Racheal September 8th, 2008 7:30 am MDTwow it is hard to believe that almost one year ago Racheal made the heart felt decision to come into my office for that fateful massage. All I had to do was look into those beautiful Hazel blue eyes and we new we both new! how awesome is that..
I truely believe that some divine providence brought us together that Fate was working seriously overtime on this one.
This has been one of the hardest years of my life I can't speak for her but I can say this I have never been happier or more in love and every moment of this past year good and bad has been worth seeing our love blossom and grow.
I love you baby with all my heart and spirit!
Anna
Anna and Racheal August 29th, 2008 9:15 pm MDTMan you could almost write a country song on this one.
Last Friday 8-22-08 Racheal and i had to put my best friend down my son Jax ok so he is a dog but to me he was like a child. I remember going to the barn and sitting on the floor and jax who was barely able to keep his eyes open waddled over to me and layed his little head in my lap. Well nearly 9 and 3/4 years later I found myself on the floor of the vets office holding Jax head in my lap as the vet gave him the shot to help him sleep. Jax just laid thier and looked at me eyes half open just as I remembered him doing 9 3/4 quarter years ealier. My buddy and best friend closed his eyes for the last time
Then 8-29-08
I went back into court expecting the judge to throw my ass in jail at the request of my soon to be ex-wife attorney request for contempt of court particularly failure to pay the skanky wrinkly old bitch a $1,000 dollar figure that the judge seem to think she was intitled to. Anna was so scared I was afraid of being in jail and being seperated from Racheal.
I fired my attorney two minutes prior to the court hearing do to his negligence and uncaring attitude towards doing his job. plus the ass thinks I can just pay him for his imcompetence. Every time I have been in court all I do is answer stupid questions from her stupid attorney and my attorney does nothing!
Anna and Racheal July 14th, 2008 8:47 am MDTWell we had quite an eventful and eye opening time in New Orleans along with a very nice surprise.
First the vacation portion, I have to admit I was a bit turned off by the dirtyness of New Orleans. You would think a city who is so famous would be cleaner and that its resturants would be open later in the evening. I was amazed at how bad the road conditions are! my guess is they never heard of a street paver. Maybe this is done so the auto mechanics can become rich doing alignments and replacing shocks and tires and rims on the cars. I am also suprise in the Buorbon Street area of the city that they have not been sued by people falling and slipping on the sidewalks.
I was amazed at how you could drive one or two city blocks and how drastic the environment would change. I love architecture and this city has it! but on the same time when your buildings are over grown with sticky vines from bottom to top and no windows its time to have the city buy a bulldozer and take down the house and building a empty lot is better than one that looks like crap!
one of my favorite things was going into the voodoo stores and the art galleries in Bourbon Street areas.
And of course the main high light was when Racheal proposed to me. I was very happy and did not hesitate to say yes!
Anna and Racheal June 3rd, 2008 12:56 pm MDTI actually now have a wig and it looks fabulous on me! Racheal and I are planning on attending the Alt Girls Party this Friday evening in Indianapolis. as soon as my beloved gets the new photos up and online you will be able to see me in a more feminine way!
Anna and Racheal May 21st, 2008 9:20 am MDTRacheal and I went out the other night shopping for clothing for me! I was to shy to try on the clothing myself so Racheal did granted we are not exactly the same size but I can fit into some of her cloths. She helped me pick out a few outfits so I am really happy. I have to admit even with her their with me in the isles of the store looking through the clothing I was a bit afraid of having someone question why and what I was doing. So Racheal would pick something out and ask if I liked it then she would take them into the changing room for me to see if they would fit ok. Girls clothing is very difficult as I should be able to fit into a 14 but some of the cloths had to be 16 this is very confusing unlike buying boy clothing when a size 36 is a 36.
Now I just need to find a cool looking wig
Anna and Racheal May 16th, 2008 9:27 am MDTBreast ?? who would have thought!
After only 6 months I have a "A cup" with Cleavage no less!! I am excited that Anna is starting to show herself I find myself wanting to dress more frequently. My skin is getting softer each month. I feel and see my arms and legs starting to more lean look to them. I deffinantly noticed a decrease in physical strenght.
Now at the same time I have some fears creeping in on me. I live in a small city and work in even smaller town. I fear in a few more months people may start to notice a change particularly in my chest area. I am facing the reality of having to wear a bra or sports bra while at work.
I also need a wig and eventually laser on my face.
I am worried about what Racheal and I will do if we can't get out of Columbia City too many people around this area know Kevin...
Anna and Racheal May 13th, 2008 3:42 pm MDTMothers Day
Is it for us or is it
really a clever ploy for them?
Kevin took me out to eat
for mothers day and did all the romantic stuff like buying me a card and
flowers. While we were dining and I was
looking around I saw all the couples and though about things in my own way with
my own spin. I figured prolly about half
of the couples were going to have sex later that night and it dawned on me.
Perhaps mothers day is
the day that our significant others can feel good about doing all the things
they are supposed to like flowers and romance and diner in the assurance that
doing it will guarantee them a romp in the bed / sofa / kitchen
counter or wherever for sure.
What do you think – day for
us or a really a day for them?
Anna and Racheal May 7th, 2008 9:42 am MDTAs I transform through hormone therapy, watching Racheal work and function everyday as the woman she is, I am finding my male feelings changing as far as to how I look at sensuality. Prime example is the other night Racheal secretively while I was outside with the dog was getting the bathroom all ready for a sensual bath for both of us. This entailed flowers we picked from a flowering cherry tree earlier in the day, candles and incense burning along with chilled wine glasses and a nice hot tub of water.
As a man I would have thought cool I'm getting laid tonight!
As a budding androgynous person who is noticing the heightened sensitivity of my own skin. I felt the sensuality of the experience which built up the senses to experience the sexuality of making love to her later.
Anna and Racheal April 3rd, 2008 10:26 am MDTOk well not really but i do like eye catching titles that make people think and take a look at the writing. In case you havent guessed this is Racheal writing for the frist time in the journal.
Well its been quite an intresting journey and a lot of fun along the way. Kevin and I have been going out since October and moved in together in November so i thought it was time i put out my two cents worth. I had an account here back in the day and I even paid for the subscription so I had the fancy stuff. I dropped the account when it went to the ratings and everyone was going around giving each other hi fives and great jobs simply because others were doing it for you and i didnt like it. I ended up talking to a lot of people and a lot of friends and many of them I have gone on to meet in real life.
One of those people was kevin. So all in all we have talked off and on for like 3 years so i did feel like i knew him pretty well before moving in with him. I get asked all the time if i love kevin and the answer is simply - YYYEEEESSSSS!
Being with kevin is like finally finding the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle that was stuffed down in the couch. I mean my life is now a complete picture and has real meaning. I am a very happy girl and very glad i gave him a chance. He is my missing piece and now I am whole and complete.
That isnt to say there hasnt been any challanges - including his divorce leaving us on foodstamps so we can eat but thats all part of life. Having such a close and loving relationship inspite of the difficulties and darkness we are currently struggling thru leads me to believe we will be best friends and lovers forever. But life is slowly turning for us and we are having more positive sunny days than bad.
One of the big issues we face is Kevin / Anna begininning transition - into taking meds and everything. This has left me torn and confused and conflicted in many areas so I am constantly reassesing and reevaluting life as our relationship evolves and grows. My biggest fear is he / she is doing it to make me happy but I dont want any choices being made on my preferences or ideas. I am very mallable and fluid in the whole gender presentation and accepting my partner in any presentation so dont think thats the part that gets me. Its more the idea that I may be the factor in such a life changing event.
I know me being successful in my transition and the way i present and look are not typical. I feared my moving in with Kevin / Anna was going to put the whole trans issue in his / her face and force him / her to face things he had already settled in his / her mind. Turns out I was right about that and now I struggle with dealing with my feelings of being the cause of his / her torment and ultimitely the decision to change. I dont want the changes good or bad to be because of me but rather to be because they are right.
I am not sure were this will go, how far Anna will take over or what is coming in the future.
I do know that I am happy and will take each day as it is meant to be - as a gift from the gods and live it as the spirits dictate.
Blessed Be
Racheal
Just wanted to let you know that Melanie was able to get out in the day for the first time. The day started when I left my place at 5 am and headed up to Sacramento to be with my friend CC. It took me about 2 hours to get up there at around 7 am and I stoped to have breckfast. after thart I peoceded to go to the motel 6 where I was to meet CC I got lost on the way there but after some time fianly noticed the motel after driving by it several times arrivng just before CC did. when we both got there we were in guy mode but then got a room wherte we peoceeded to get in to girl mode. CC was a great help getting me ready She gave me some makeup tips so that I would look more like Melanie. After that we proceeded to head out we took some picturers in the parking lot before we headed out. we ent to a mall that CC likes to go to and we met Melissa who is a real Girl and was willing to give a few pointers and tuchups with my make up. She was great she did hot care that I was a CD she just wanred to help me look my best. We also me anouther of CC friends she was great also. Then we proceeded to go out in to the Mall and take some Pictures. After that we got back in the car and heded out to a park close by we were going to takle some more pictures but we did not see any good places to take them that did not require going down a steep hill which I did not think was safe.So I decided that I had had enough for onre day being that it was my first time out in the day. I wopuld just like to say it was great being with CC for few Hours I hope to do it again some time soon.
Anna and Racheal January 24th, 2008 1:05 pm MSTWow it will be three months Feb 9th since we moved in together. We are still in love and no dead bodies laying around. Well at least none I am aware of!As with all new couples thier is a transition of learning what little quirks each other has, anoing habits, etc..Something for all you guys or gals who get involved with trans girls and I am not saying that this is bad or that it happens with all trans people. Not that I am complaining because I am very happy and very very much in love with her. As soon as my divorce is final I plan to ask her to marry me! "do not tell her ok I want it to be surprise"
As to my trip up to I luv it Girl well first of all It was a dream come true I have wanted to do some thing like this for a long time but I did not know of any one close enough to help me out all the places were either on the other side of the country or on the other side of the world. Then I found out about Jo-An and said good now I can go and get a makeover. Now to Saturday I got up early in antispation of my trip up I was very exiceted to say the lesat. I got up there early Had some lunch then headed over to I luv it But got lost once I got off if the feeway headed down Warm springs Blvd but went way to far because nothing was Fanilar to me and ended up driving around for about 1/2 hour then finally found my way over there after I called Jo-An. When I finally got there I was 1/2 hour late at 1:30. Jo-An said that she needed to be at a drag show at 3:00 so she showed me around then I got dressed. Then she started to make me up and she said you are going with me to the show I thought for a moment the said yes. After making me up she found the right Hair for me. Then I turned and looked in the miorror and was stunned at how good I looked. Then we headed out to the drag show I was nervous to say the least this was the First time I had ever been out dressed the show was very good and the more time that I spent there the more comfertable I felt being out dressed. The people there were very friendly and nice some of the people there were even giving me advice on ways to act like a girl. we took some pictures at the show and heded back to I luv it where we took more pictures and then I got out of girl mode while Jo-An got the pictures ready for all to see. Then I headed home. This was a great day in my life.
Hi there, Its been awhile since I have posted here but First Event was definitely worthy of me taking some time to write about it. I've tried to write about other events and such but I got logged out before I could post and my stories disappeared. Thats why I'm doing it a little at a time now.
The venue for it was fantastic, IMO. The Burlington Marriot is well laid out, nicely appointed and staffed by friendly, helpful people. I was extremely comfortable there and had absolutely no problems. Also the bedding was absolutely wonderful. It truly was one of the most comfortable hotel beds I have ever slept in.
The event was very well attended and there were girls of all shapes, sizes, ages and degrees. I arrived there early Friday afternoon and upon checking in and letting some of my friends know I was there, I began to get ready for the Fashion show and dinner. The Fashion show which was put together by Yvonne Steele and hosted by Diana Aria & June Casad, was pretty cool and the dinner was pretty good also. But it got better as the nite wore on. Several of my friends, Katie, Paige, Karen Reeves, and Katie C. were in the show which made it even better. The girls in the show looked great and the finale was tremendous. The last girl looked like a swedish swimsuit model and came out wearing low rise hip hugger pants and a sivler sequined halter top. Simply saying she was hot won't do. She was probably the hottest girl at the event. Absolutely gorgeous.
After the Fashion show, URNA held what I call a "Meet & Greet" with a cash bar. Things really began to heat up then, the dance floor was packed and everyone was walking around, meeting and chatting with everyone and having a few drinks. Jeff, Jon and Vicky were there along with many others from the Urna chat room. It was a real pleasure to meet some of them.
For some reason in Mass. the bars close at midnite so upon conclusion of the cash bar bar I went upstair to Katie's room and hung out there with about 10 or so other girls. Just laughing and joking and having a good time in each others company. For me, these are the best times of the whole thing. Some of my best girlfriends were there so it made it even better, such as Katie, Britt, & Lauren. Also there was Katie C., Paige, Stacie and Amber. Finally around 5:00 AM, I ran out of gas and had to call it a night. And as tired as I was, I didn't want it to end.
The next day a bunch of us went to Bickfords for brunch, and it was the first time I had seen some of the girls not "En Femme'. Its always hard to recognize them when you see them stripped down to their basic guy selves. As for me after brunch I went up to my room for some more much needed rest.
Plans had sort of been made to go out into Boston to the Club Cafe and when I called around to see what was going on, that seemed to be pretty much it. About 10 or so of us were to meet downstairs in the lobby and get on a van. A special thanks to Yvonne for setting this up and getting the van out there to pick us up. I can't quite remember everyone's name and for that I'm sorry, it was Yvonne, Katie, Vickie, Britt, myself and about 5 others. Misha and her friend also showed up but via different transportation. Anyway we had a fabulous dinner there with great conversation and great food, I recommend the endive salad and the steak & frites. After dinner we adjourned to the attached club and it was packed. Britt, Katie & I ended up back at a small table in the restaurant for drinks and conversation. It wasn't long before 12:30 arrived and we had to leave and go back to the hotel.
Back at the hotel we found out where the party was and most of us went there, room 930 was in full swing. Plenty of drinks and plenty of people. Everyone was having a great time. Alot of people from URNA were there such as Kristy Dantes, Cranberry Kris, Lauren44, Kat8ie, BrittCt, myself, and other girls from URNA too that I'm forgetting to include. And a whole bunch of other girls I had seen there but not met. Lots of laughter, and banter. Once again its these "after parties" that make the nite for me. I know I'll be back again and in the meantime I'll have to make do.
Finally after the party began to wind down, I went back to my room to crash. And as usual, I got up late and had to rush to get cleaned up, packed up and downstairs to check out on time. I made it although it seems that the hotel was being lenient on the check out time, which was good for some of the other girls that were moving even slower than me. I took my bags out to "Big Orange", my Freightliner big rig, and found that I couldn't get her started, she was too cold. So I went back up to the hotel for help. A special thanks to Kristianna, Lauren and Jean who got/gave me some help, but alas, their help was unsuccessful in getting "Big Orange" going, so I had to call my company and have a tow truck sent out. He was also unsuccessful in getting her jumped off and ended up having to tow start me. Finally It was running and I signed the bill and headed on down the highway, off to new adventures and sweet memories of the fabulous weekend I spent there.
Finally we are together where we are happy
Anna and Racheal January 6th, 2009 10:33 pm MSTWe made it
Wow I can't believe that after 6+ months of planning that Racheal and I are really here. The drive was so long, the truck and trailer was over loaded and made driving very slow. on average we managed about 55 miles per hour except going up hills which might slow us down to 40+
The scenery was so beautiful literally breath taking! I felt such a sense of belonging.
Racheal and I, have meet some really cool people since getting here.
Of course we left behind things we thought we had brought that sucks as it's a really long drive to storage so we will have to make do!
Last evening we started venturing out around town to see some of the area and learn where some things are. "of course we did this at Midnight so traffic would not be so bad for us to drive slowly.
Tomorrow I go into my new office and meet my new boss, I'm looking forward to getting back to work.
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A walk in a special park in Austin
Anna and Racheal January 6th, 2009 10:32 pm MSTA walk in a special park
Racheal took me on a walk to a special park that means a lot to her. We had a wonderful time walking around the winding streams and viewing the hillside how it's been carved out of the surrounding stone.
We took pictures from my phone and I am hoping she will post them to my computer so I can post them on this site.
I love her so much and it is such a honor to have her show me places that mean so much to her.
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transexuals and the creator
Anna and Racheal December 24th, 2008 3:51 pm MSTtranssexual and the creator
I did something I rarely do anymore, I stopped by a church and went inside mainly to dodge the rain and use the bathroom. But I did stop in the chapel area for a few minutes.
I have always considered myself to be a fairly spiritual person and I know I have thought of this before but feel moved to express it to best of my ability.
"God made each and every one of us in his image and by his own hand, yes he even made us transsexual people, he made the gays, lesbians, bisexuals. He made us for a reason and with a purpose upon this earth. But yet it is the christian s who persecute us and prevent us from being who we are and from receiving the same rights as those who conform to the church standards of the "man made laws" of what is right and wrong. because of this we can't marry and we do not receive the same rights as others. As I sat their looking up at that cross at our savior I could not help but think this is not the church he created. It is mans creation and not the divines creation".
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Dork Much?
Anna and Racheal December 24th, 2008 9:21 am MSTSo we grabbed some Chinese tonight for dinner - after working in storage and packing and running errands and disposing of stuff and just being busy getting things ready to go. And what is Chinese without a fortune cookie? Well for Anna it would be a lot less papery.
What? You might ask.
I would answer by saying - I asked her what her fortune said. She looked at me, stopped chewing, pulled the chewed fortune out of the cookie mess in her mouth and read it to me - 'You have the wisdom of the ages'
Anyone know the definition of irony?
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auto accident
Anna and Racheal November 21st, 2008 11:02 am MSTLast evening when we where coming from Peru IN coming home. ( my job entails me working as a canvasser going into small towns and talking to people) Anyhow we where in the company Suburban (I am a feild manager and this was my crew all 6 of us). It was snowing and roads (Hwy 24) was very slick. My driver was being cautious but we hit a slick spot on the hwy and lost control of the vehicle.We shot across the medium and across a dual lane Hwy slamming into two ditches and nearly rolling the burb over several times. Luckfully no one was hurt other than bruising and body aches. Beefcake our nick name for our burb is not in as good of shape but kept us safe.
The first thing I thought of was "NO not now I can't die yet I'm not a girl yet" and my second thought as we where about to crash was. God how much I love Racheal and we are just getting started in our lives together. Would I be able to tell her I love her?
Anna
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Living in pink Mae Vie in Rose
Anna and Racheal November 8th, 2008 8:33 am MSTThis past week Racheal and I watched a French film that I will call living in pink. It was about this little boy who dreamed of being a girl and all the hardships he had to indure as well as his family. It really hit home on so very many levels for me, expecially how he felt he was different and in the wrong body. His desire to dress and play as a girl, until the parents took him for therapy. This part did not happen to me as I did as he did later in the movie. I just became who my parents wanted me to be a boy! I often wished I had the courage to transition earlier in life instead of waiting until now.
At this point in my life it is difficult to undo all the stuff we pretended to be for so long all the manorisms, body posturing, even mental thinking. I am feeling more and more like who I am suppose to be everyday. most of that is a thanks to my wife Racheal who is trying to help me live and be myself.
My parents are just like that boys parents, they can't or will not try to understand. I have now been labled a drug user by my own father. Because he is certain that is why I am not acting and responding to his demands and ideas of who I am suppose to be, a carbon copy of himself.
I am me!
Anna
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Austin here we come
Anna and Racheal November 1st, 2008 6:32 pm MDTWow my new job I took back in September even though I do not get paid very well has an office in Austin Texas. Now at long last Racheal and I get to move to the place we want to live. This past weekend I went to a national conference and talked with the Austin crew. I am excited to be able in a couple months to move, knowing that we have a job when I get thier. Then all we have to do is find Racheal something work wise. I have hopes that I can go to college but will need to enter the community college to take a few courses first. Wish us luck!![1 comment]
together
Anna and Racheal September 8th, 2008 7:30 am MDTwow it is hard to believe that almost one year ago Racheal made the heart felt decision to come into my office for that fateful massage. All I had to do was look into those beautiful Hazel blue eyes and we new we both new! how awesome is that.. I truely believe that some divine providence brought us together that Fate was working seriously overtime on this one. This has been one of the hardest years of my life I can't speak for her but I can say this I have never been happier or more in love and every moment of this past year good and bad has been worth seeing our love blossom and grow. I love you baby with all my heart and spirit! Anna[Comment on this post]
public
Anna and Racheal August 29th, 2008 9:15 pm MDTMan you could almost write a country song on this one. Last Friday 8-22-08 Racheal and i had to put my best friend down my son Jax ok so he is a dog but to me he was like a child. I remember going to the barn and sitting on the floor and jax who was barely able to keep his eyes open waddled over to me and layed his little head in my lap. Well nearly 9 and 3/4 years later I found myself on the floor of the vets office holding Jax head in my lap as the vet gave him the shot to help him sleep. Jax just laid thier and looked at me eyes half open just as I remembered him doing 9 3/4 quarter years ealier. My buddy and best friend closed his eyes for the last time Then 8-29-08 I went back into court expecting the judge to throw my ass in jail at the request of my soon to be ex-wife attorney request for contempt of court particularly failure to pay the skanky wrinkly old bitch a $1,000 dollar figure that the judge seem to think she was intitled to. Anna was so scared I was afraid of being in jail and being seperated from Racheal. I fired my attorney two minutes prior to the court hearing do to his negligence and uncaring attitude towards doing his job. plus the ass thinks I can just pay him for his imcompetence. Every time I have been in court all I do is answer stupid questions from her stupid attorney and my attorney does nothing![Comment on this post]
Our trip to new Orleans
Anna and Racheal July 14th, 2008 8:47 am MDTWell we had quite an eventful and eye opening time in New Orleans along with a very nice surprise. First the vacation portion, I have to admit I was a bit turned off by the dirtyness of New Orleans. You would think a city who is so famous would be cleaner and that its resturants would be open later in the evening. I was amazed at how bad the road conditions are! my guess is they never heard of a street paver. Maybe this is done so the auto mechanics can become rich doing alignments and replacing shocks and tires and rims on the cars. I am also suprise in the Buorbon Street area of the city that they have not been sued by people falling and slipping on the sidewalks. I was amazed at how you could drive one or two city blocks and how drastic the environment would change. I love architecture and this city has it! but on the same time when your buildings are over grown with sticky vines from bottom to top and no windows its time to have the city buy a bulldozer and take down the house and building a empty lot is better than one that looks like crap! one of my favorite things was going into the voodoo stores and the art galleries in Bourbon Street areas. And of course the main high light was when Racheal proposed to me. I was very happy and did not hesitate to say yes![Comment on this post]
New wig
Anna and Racheal June 3rd, 2008 12:56 pm MDTI actually now have a wig and it looks fabulous on me! Racheal and I are planning on attending the Alt Girls Party this Friday evening in Indianapolis. as soon as my beloved gets the new photos up and online you will be able to see me in a more feminine way![1 comment]
My own cloths
Anna and Racheal May 21st, 2008 9:20 am MDTRacheal and I went out the other night shopping for clothing for me! I was to shy to try on the clothing myself so Racheal did granted we are not exactly the same size but I can fit into some of her cloths. She helped me pick out a few outfits so I am really happy. I have to admit even with her their with me in the isles of the store looking through the clothing I was a bit afraid of having someone question why and what I was doing. So Racheal would pick something out and ask if I liked it then she would take them into the changing room for me to see if they would fit ok. Girls clothing is very difficult as I should be able to fit into a 14 but some of the cloths had to be 16 this is very confusing unlike buying boy clothing when a size 36 is a 36. Now I just need to find a cool looking wig[1 comment]
breast
Anna and Racheal May 16th, 2008 9:27 am MDTBreast ?? who would have thought! After only 6 months I have a "A cup" with Cleavage no less!! I am excited that Anna is starting to show herself I find myself wanting to dress more frequently. My skin is getting softer each month. I feel and see my arms and legs starting to more lean look to them. I deffinantly noticed a decrease in physical strenght. Now at the same time I have some fears creeping in on me. I live in a small city and work in even smaller town. I fear in a few more months people may start to notice a change particularly in my chest area. I am facing the reality of having to wear a bra or sports bra while at work. I also need a wig and eventually laser on my face. I am worried about what Racheal and I will do if we can't get out of Columbia City too many people around this area know Kevin...[1 comment]
Mothers Day
Anna and Racheal May 13th, 2008 3:42 pm MDTMothers Day Is it for us or is it really a clever ploy for them? Kevin took me out to eat for mothers day and did all the romantic stuff like buying me a card and flowers. While we were dining and I was looking around I saw all the couples and though about things in my own way with my own spin. I figured prolly about half of the couples were going to have sex later that night and it dawned on me. Perhaps mothers day is the day that our significant others can feel good about doing all the things they are supposed to like flowers and romance and diner in the assurance that doing it will guarantee them a romp in the bed / sofa / kitchen counter or wherever for sure. What do you think – day for us or a really a day for them?[Comment on this post]
sensual
Anna and Racheal May 7th, 2008 9:42 am MDTAs I transform through hormone therapy, watching Racheal work and function everyday as the woman she is, I am finding my male feelings changing as far as to how I look at sensuality. Prime example is the other night Racheal secretively while I was outside with the dog was getting the bathroom all ready for a sensual bath for both of us. This entailed flowers we picked from a flowering cherry tree earlier in the day, candles and incense burning along with chilled wine glasses and a nice hot tub of water. As a man I would have thought cool I'm getting laid tonight! As a budding androgynous person who is noticing the heightened sensitivity of my own skin. I felt the sensuality of the experience which built up the senses to experience the sexuality of making love to her later.[Comment on this post]
Ramblings from a spaz
Anna and Racheal April 3rd, 2008 10:26 am MDTOk well not really but i do like eye catching titles that make people think and take a look at the writing. In case you havent guessed this is Racheal writing for the frist time in the journal. Well its been quite an intresting journey and a lot of fun along the way. Kevin and I have been going out since October and moved in together in November so i thought it was time i put out my two cents worth. I had an account here back in the day and I even paid for the subscription so I had the fancy stuff. I dropped the account when it went to the ratings and everyone was going around giving each other hi fives and great jobs simply because others were doing it for you and i didnt like it. I ended up talking to a lot of people and a lot of friends and many of them I have gone on to meet in real life. One of those people was kevin. So all in all we have talked off and on for like 3 years so i did feel like i knew him pretty well before moving in with him. I get asked all the time if i love kevin and the answer is simply - YYYEEEESSSSS! Being with kevin is like finally finding the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle that was stuffed down in the couch. I mean my life is now a complete picture and has real meaning. I am a very happy girl and very glad i gave him a chance. He is my missing piece and now I am whole and complete. That isnt to say there hasnt been any challanges - including his divorce leaving us on foodstamps so we can eat but thats all part of life. Having such a close and loving relationship inspite of the difficulties and darkness we are currently struggling thru leads me to believe we will be best friends and lovers forever. But life is slowly turning for us and we are having more positive sunny days than bad. One of the big issues we face is Kevin / Anna begininning transition - into taking meds and everything. This has left me torn and confused and conflicted in many areas so I am constantly reassesing and reevaluting life as our relationship evolves and grows. My biggest fear is he / she is doing it to make me happy but I dont want any choices being made on my preferences or ideas. I am very mallable and fluid in the whole gender presentation and accepting my partner in any presentation so dont think thats the part that gets me. Its more the idea that I may be the factor in such a life changing event. I know me being successful in my transition and the way i present and look are not typical. I feared my moving in with Kevin / Anna was going to put the whole trans issue in his / her face and force him / her to face things he had already settled in his / her mind. Turns out I was right about that and now I struggle with dealing with my feelings of being the cause of his / her torment and ultimitely the decision to change. I dont want the changes good or bad to be because of me but rather to be because they are right. I am not sure were this will go, how far Anna will take over or what is coming in the future. I do know that I am happy and will take each day as it is meant to be - as a gift from the gods and live it as the spirits dictate. Blessed Be Racheal[1 comment]
First Day out
Melanie Bowman March 31st, 2008 9:20 pm MDTHi girls
Just wanted to let you know that Melanie was able to get out in the day for the first time. The day started when I left my place at 5 am and headed up to Sacramento to be with my friend CC. It took me about 2 hours to get up there at around 7 am and I stoped to have breckfast. after thart I peoceded to go to the motel 6 where I was to meet CC I got lost on the way there but after some time fianly noticed the motel after driving by it several times arrivng just before CC did. when we both got there we were in guy mode but then got a room wherte we peoceeded to get in to girl mode. CC was a great help getting me ready She gave me some makeup tips so that I would look more like Melanie. After that we proceeded to head out we took some picturers in the parking lot before we headed out. we ent to a mall that CC likes to go to and we met Melissa who is a real Girl and was willing to give a few pointers and tuchups with my make up. She was great she did hot care that I was a CD she just wanred to help me look my best. We also me anouther of CC friends she was great also. Then we proceeded to go out in to the Mall and take some Pictures. After that we got back in the car and heded out to a park close by we were going to takle some more pictures but we did not see any good places to take them that did not require going down a steep hill which I did not think was safe.So I decided that I had had enough for onre day being that it was my first time out in the day. I wopuld just like to say it was great being with CC for few Hours I hope to do it again some time soon.
Huggs Melanie
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3 months together and still in love
Anna and Racheal January 24th, 2008 1:05 pm MSTWow it will be three months Feb 9th since we moved in together. We are still in love and no dead bodies laying around. Well at least none I am aware of!As with all new couples thier is a transition of learning what little quirks each other has, anoing habits, etc..Something for all you guys or gals who get involved with trans girls and I am not saying that this is bad or that it happens with all trans people. Not that I am complaining because I am very happy and very very much in love with her. As soon as my divorce is final I plan to ask her to marry me! "do not tell her ok I want it to be surprise"[2 comments]
Makeover and first Nite out
Melanie Bowman November 20th, 2007 4:45 pm MSTAs to my trip up to I luv it Girl well first of all It was a dream come true I have wanted to do some thing like this for a long time but I did not know of any one close enough to help me out all the places were either on the other side of the country or on the other side of the world. Then I found out about Jo-An and said good now I can go and get a makeover. Now to Saturday I got up early in antispation of my trip up I was very exiceted to say the lesat. I got up there early Had some lunch then headed over to I luv it But got lost once I got off if the feeway headed down Warm springs Blvd but went way to far because nothing was Fanilar to me and ended up driving around for about 1/2 hour then finally found my way over there after I called Jo-An. When I finally got there I was 1/2 hour late at 1:30. Jo-An said that she needed to be at a drag show at 3:00 so she showed me around then I got dressed. Then she started to make me up and she said you are going with me to the show I thought for a moment the said yes. After making me up she found the right Hair for me. Then I turned and looked in the miorror and was stunned at how good I looked. Then we headed out to the drag show I was nervous to say the least this was the First time I had ever been out dressed the show was very good and the more time that I spent there the more comfertable I felt being out dressed. The people there were very friendly and nice some of the people there were even giving me advice on ways to act like a girl. we took some pictures at the show and heded back to I luv it where we took more pictures and then I got out of girl mode while Jo-An got the pictures ready for all to see. Then I headed home. This was a great day in my life.
Melanie B
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My First F.E.
Cindi A. Warren January 24th, 2007 7:50 am MSTHi there, Its been awhile since I have posted here but First Event was definitely worthy of me taking some time to write about it. I've tried to write about other events and such but I got logged out before I could post and my stories disappeared. Thats why I'm doing it a little at a time now.
The venue for it was fantastic, IMO. The Burlington Marriot is well laid out, nicely appointed and staffed by friendly, helpful people. I was extremely comfortable there and had absolutely no problems. Also the bedding was absolutely wonderful. It truly was one of the most comfortable hotel beds I have ever slept in.
The event was very well attended and there were girls of all shapes, sizes, ages and degrees. I arrived there early Friday afternoon and upon checking in and letting some of my friends know I was there, I began to get ready for the Fashion show and dinner. The Fashion show which was put together by Yvonne Steele and hosted by Diana Aria & June Casad, was pretty cool and the dinner was pretty good also. But it got better as the nite wore on. Several of my friends, Katie, Paige, Karen Reeves, and Katie C. were in the show which made it even better. The girls in the show looked great and the finale was tremendous. The last girl looked like a swedish swimsuit model and came out wearing low rise hip hugger pants and a sivler sequined halter top. Simply saying she was hot won't do. She was probably the hottest girl at the event. Absolutely gorgeous.
After the Fashion show, URNA held what I call a "Meet & Greet" with a cash bar. Things really began to heat up then, the dance floor was packed and everyone was walking around, meeting and chatting with everyone and having a few drinks. Jeff, Jon and Vicky were there along with many others from the Urna chat room. It was a real pleasure to meet some of them.
For some reason in Mass. the bars close at midnite so upon conclusion of the cash bar bar I went upstair to Katie's room and hung out there with about 10 or so other girls. Just laughing and joking and having a good time in each others company. For me, these are the best times of the whole thing. Some of my best girlfriends were there so it made it even better, such as Katie, Britt, & Lauren. Also there was Katie C., Paige, Stacie and Amber. Finally around 5:00 AM, I ran out of gas and had to call it a night. And as tired as I was, I didn't want it to end.
The next day a bunch of us went to Bickfords for brunch, and it was the first time I had seen some of the girls not "En Femme'. Its always hard to recognize them when you see them stripped down to their basic guy selves. As for me after brunch I went up to my room for some more much needed rest.
Plans had sort of been made to go out into Boston to the Club Cafe and when I called around to see what was going on, that seemed to be pretty much it. About 10 or so of us were to meet downstairs in the lobby and get on a van. A special thanks to Yvonne for setting this up and getting the van out there to pick us up. I can't quite remember everyone's name and for that I'm sorry, it was Yvonne, Katie, Vickie, Britt, myself and about 5 others. Misha and her friend also showed up but via different transportation. Anyway we had a fabulous dinner there with great conversation and great food, I recommend the endive salad and the steak & frites. After dinner we adjourned to the attached club and it was packed. Britt, Katie & I ended up back at a small table in the restaurant for drinks and conversation. It wasn't long before 12:30 arrived and we had to leave and go back to the hotel.
Back at the hotel we found out where the party was and most of us went there, room 930 was in full swing. Plenty of drinks and plenty of people. Everyone was having a great time. Alot of people from URNA were there such as Kristy Dantes, Cranberry Kris, Lauren44, Kat8ie, BrittCt, myself, and other girls from URNA too that I'm forgetting to include. And a whole bunch of other girls I had seen there but not met. Lots of laughter, and banter. Once again its these "after parties" that make the nite for me. I know I'll be back again and in the meantime I'll have to make do.
Finally after the party began to wind down, I went back to my room to crash. And as usual, I got up late and had to rush to get cleaned up, packed up and downstairs to check out on time. I made it although it seems that the hotel was being lenient on the check out time, which was good for some of the other girls that were moving even slower than me. I took my bags out to "Big Orange", my Freightliner big rig, and found that I couldn't get her started, she was too cold. So I went back up to the hotel for help. A special thanks to Kristianna, Lauren and Jean who got/gave me some help, but alas, their help was unsuccessful in getting "Big Orange" going, so I had to call my company and have a tow truck sent out. He was also unsuccessful in getting her jumped off and ended up having to tow start me. Finally It was running and I signed the bill and headed on down the highway, off to new adventures and sweet memories of the fabulous weekend I spent there.
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