URNotAlone

Dramtic Month

March 1st, 2008 12:31 pm MST

I know it been a while since I updated the journal.  Had my mind on many things.  And have not been sleeping well at all.  Overall would state stress level for me this month has been a 999 out of a 1000 point scale.  But overall things went well.  But that is the reason why I seam to drop off the face of the earth.  Lets start with the bad and ugly.  I went to a local event for a dear friends party who is getting her SRS wow now it must be a weeks time.  Anyway she and her friend talk me into going on the dance floor.  Just before I could go out there, had a very strong emotional feeling come over me.  For those that do not know I lost my daughter nearly 3 years ago, and I have never been much of a dancer.  Well you might have guessed it the my daughter was the last one who managed to get me out on the dance floor.  The grief was so overwelling I just had to sit back down.  Work has been stressfull as well, but that nothing new.  At least it something I have control over.  It things I do not have control over that scare the crap out of me.  And many things this month occured.Now for the good news, I start hormones Monday.  YEAH!!!!!  But as a result ended up telling a lot of family members.  Oddly my wife's family all took it in stride, with no negative feelings.  This includes her far right Christian sisters.  As they told me "You are still one of God's childern.  It what is in your heart that counts."  Now if more "Christians" had that same feeling. Than came time to tell one of the peole I was dreading breaking the news to.  My sibs, and their spouses.  One of my sister's allready knew, but it was so important for me that my older brother and his wife was suportive.  I was allready planing to walk away from family, and other very important things to me if that is what it took to become Tina.  So when the time came, was very suprized by the reaction.  It was basicly a non-issue.  "Male or Female you are still my sibling, and I will allways have your back."  Well that did it for me, all the pent up emotions came out.  We then spent over 30 mintues talking about other issues that need to be taken care of.  Transsexualism was not part of it. Next step is to tell my parents, and we are allready forming a plan how to do this.  When I come out to parents, all my siblings and their spouses plan to be there to form a united front.  Sure there will be fall out from some outlining family members, but so far so good. Will be another month or so of dealing with major issues.  But overall things look good.