Just Kitty
"got a unexpected day off to wet to run the 'pits' today* * its a beautiful day out here too!"
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2008 in Review
Dan™ & Erin™ December 31st, 2008 2:28 pm MSTWell, it's definitely been an interesting year. A lot has happened. I ended a relationship with the best girlfriend I've ever had (though she still wasn't right), I've watched my prosperity complete dry up, I've almost completely stopped smoking and my drinking is almost not even noticeable at this point. I've fallen in love with the most incredible woman and I'm slowly figuring things out.
When the year began, I was worried about money. My company stopped producing and selling adult content which resulted in a massive drop of revenue. Around the same time, I broke my primary revenue producing website preventing people with IE 6 from accessing it, so I spent most of the year working on a new design which finally went online in August.
I really thought most of my financial problems were my fault. The result of changes in my companies business model and my own failing's running the web sites. In fact, I was so busy trying to figure out what I was doing wrong that I didn't notice the world collapsing slowly outside my window.
I had to cash in my kids college funds to pay bills. I had to cancel my life insurance to pay bills. When my car died, I decided to sell it for scrap rather than repair it. Fewer bills again. My house is usually a bit chilly and dark to save on utilities. I've reduced my monthly budget by around 2,000. I've been selling furniture to buy groceries.
For everything that had gone wrong, I'm optimistic. Not because I see an end in sight, but because I feel like I'm getting a handle on things. I have the best friends of my life. I'm in love for the first time in my life. I'm relatively healthy and my kids are healthy and seem well adjusted.
I think things are going to get worse. A lot worse, but I'm confident that we'll all get through this. As a planet, we need to step back and assess what's important. We need to focus on the things that need to be done, and we need to start working towards a better future.
I think we'll do it.
I hope.
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Merry xMas!
Dan™ & Erin™ December 25th, 2008 7:35 am MST[2 comments]
Purple America
Dan™ & Erin™ November 7th, 2008 3:03 pm MSTFor those of you who still think that the election was close, take a look at these two maps. One shows the counties in their actual size shaded blue or red based on what the population voted.
This map shows each county with a size set by the population. It looks a lot less red.
This is far more of the mandate the George W Bush claimed four years ago, this is a landslide. For those of you that fear a socialist government, let me just state the following:
1. Socialist nations like Denmark, Normay, Sweden and Holland have:
I've heard a lot of people claim that Obama was a socialist. He's not. I wish he was, but I would have been no more enthusiastic of his candidacy.
Be that as it may, why would socialism be so scary anyway?
[18 comments]
Untitled Post
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt October 23rd, 2008 12:45 pm MDT3 ways of removing hair, videos show you how
http://shaunabaggett.blogspot.com/2008/10/3-ways-of-removing-hair-videos-show-you.html
[Comment on this post]
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday
Dan™ & Erin™ October 20th, 2008 1:50 pm MDTHalloween has always been my favorite Holiday. Godless heathen that I am, there aren't many holidays that don't have the flavor of one of more gods tainting them. That's all right. I love Solstice decorations, and even some Christmas decorations (I usually have angels on my tree). Easter is fun because of coloring eggs and candy. I guess you could say that I enjoy some holidays that have been co-opted by religions in spite of that. Halloween though has always had a special place in my heart. There isn't a related religious holiday to be seen. It's all about dressing up and having fun. A final harvest festival to usher in the cold snowy months. I just got news that is going to make Halloween even better for me. I just got a notice from the Clerk of the Court of Common Please, Franklin County Ohio, Domestic Division. After six long irritating years of playing silly buggers in the court system, the judge has finally lost patience and is going to grant me an uncontested divorce! My children and I haven't even SEEN their mother is eight years! I always celebrated Halloween in Boston with the drag queens and transvestites. It's always a really fun time. I've been planning a "Bachelor Party" to coincide with my divorce. I think this is going to be an annual event! Anyway, I'm excited. The only fly in the ointment is that I am supposed to be in court at 9 am and my flight for Boston is scheduled for 1:20 pm the same day, so I may have to see about pushing it back. Either way, I'm pretty excited!
[2 comments]
The Candidates, simplified
Dan™ & Erin™ October 9th, 2008 11:12 pm MDT[2 comments]
Open Casting Call for Gothcoming 2k8 (Chas Ray Krider)
Dan™ & Erin™ August 29th, 2008 12:37 pm MDTChas Ray Krider (http://www.motelfetish.com) and Daniel Goode (http://www. retrokitten.com) will be holding open casting call interviews at The Invisible Studio for Gothcoming 2k8 (Friday Oct 3rd, 2008).
Chas will be interviewing for assistants and performers for an installation piece the night of Gothcoming.
Daniel is interviewing for Box Dancers and general assistants.
Wednesday August 3rd
2PM - 5PM
7PM - 9PM
The Invisible Studio
219 King Ave
Columbus OH, 43201
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=219+King+Ave+Columbus+OH&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=44.069599,68.203125&ie=UTF8&ll=39.990454,-83.012202&spn=0.010456,0.016651&z=16&iwloc=addr
If you are unable to attend the open casting call, you can contact Chas or Daniel directly to set up and interview.
Chas Ray Krider 614 327-2793
Daniel Goode 614 546-9117
View Larger Map
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Say Hello to Roxy
Dan™ & Erin™ August 17th, 2008 6:44 pm MDTToday, Lynne and I bought the most adorable Chihuahua. We found her through http://petfinder.com. She was from a mother that was rescued from a puppy mill.
She is quite possibly the most adorable animal that we've ever seen. I'm really glad we are able to give her a good home. Our cats of course don't seem really thrilled yet, but I'm sure they will come around.
It's been a good weekend. Things aren't turning around yet, but progress is being made in all of the right directions.
http://gallery.me.com/dan.frederick/100169
[2 comments]
Making Memories
Dan™ & Erin™ August 16th, 2008 3:36 pm MDTWhen I was five years old, I over heard my older foster sisters (10 and 12) talking about going to a "Teddy Bear Picnic". I was so excited. I imagined that the Teddy Bears came to life and played with you. I begged them to let me come along but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, I resorted to the tried and true method of little brothers everywhere and implored my foster mother. She told my sisters that they HAD to take me and they relented. Or so I thought...
With my radio flyer tied inexpertly to my tricycle (which was still wobbly from my failed re-enactment of the Monkee's opening credit trick where they rode mopeds down stairs) and my favorite Teddy Bear snuggled securely for the ride across town, we pedaled to the corner of Weir Street.
At the very moment that we reached the corner, my sisters, with some pre-arranged signal, sped away on their two wheeled bicycles.
I yelled and I cried, but the tears made it impossible for me to see where they went.
I rode my tricycle down the alley behind our house and crawled into the wagon with my Teddy Bear and cried and cried and cried.
From that point on, I hated them and I never forgave them for depriving me of my chance to go to the Teddy Bear Picnic.
Fast Forward 33 years, and my lovely girlfriend Lynne informs me that there is an opportunity for us to volunteer with Nationwide Children's Hospital at the Teddy Bear Safari at the Columbus Zoo. You'd better believe that I jumped all over that.
This is probably my favorite volunteer gig to date. Seeing children of all ages with their teddy bears. Eyes full of wonder as they help their furry little friends get check ups and vaccinations.
Truth be told, I wasn't ready to quit when my shift was up. They had to tell me repeatedly that I could go, and finally, Lynne had to drag me away. I would have stayed all day if I could.
I didn't get to create many happy memories when I was a child, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let another child miss out on that opportunity.
To commemorate this awesome day, I bought a new teddy bear, and I even got her a friend. Without out further ado, let me introduce you to Flo (IceFlow) the polar bear cub, and her best friend Xavier the cephalopod.
I've been rather lax in posting and I'm a little behind so here are photos from our trip to Cedar Point last weekend.
[photos]
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Happy of who I am
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt August 5th, 2008 12:16 pm MDTI can't believe I'll turn 47 this month. I'm amazed I've lived this long and survived my life as a Intersex person of sorts. It has never been an easy journey; in fact, it's been very difficult, being different and trying to fit in, not only in the two-sex/two-gender binary system at large. Most people when they see me read me as a "average type guy," but that wasn't always the case and in some ways still isn't. I'm still seeking a welcoming community where I feel comfortable and accepted for who I am.
One's sex is different from one's gender identity. Both are different from one's sexual orientation. The religious right likes to melt us all into one, as if we were all the same species. People come in all colors, styles, sexed anatomies, expressions and sexual experience. We need to celebrate the diversity that we bring to our irreplaceable and special world.
We are diverse men! But what do we mean by "men" and, in particular, what do we mean by "male" or "man"? We know the stereotypical characteristics that all males/men are supposed to possess: hyper-masculinization appearance, an adequate phallus/penis size (hopefully something over 3 inches when erect), and being able to stand to pee. But what else should we possess in the sexual anatomy department? Well, I guess we're supposed to have two testicles in a scrotum that produces sperm and testosterone (and some estrogen so we act nice occasionally). And we need sex chromosomes, which are XY for the standard-looking male.
Can a male/man have any other sexual anatomy than what we presume to be standard or normal? There are many boys born with micro-penis, and in the past century many were reassigned female and given vaginoplasties. Yikes!
Doctors seem to think a man needs an adequate penis only for vaginal sex. Some people are born with ova-testis and others with blind vaginas. People come in all sorts of sex chromosome variations too: XXY, XXX, XYY, XXYY, XXXY, XO, XY females (known as androgen insensitivity syndrome) and XX men, XY/XXY and all sorts of other mosaic patterns.
Can any of these persons be considered males/men? It depends on how they identify, if they are not aborted first. Although most people on the planet come in the two standard-sexed bodies, many of us do not. Depending on how "intersex" is defined, variations exist in anywhere from 1 in 150 to 1 in 2000 births. Doctors still perform infant genital surgeries (and hormonal interventions) five times a day in the USA. I guess they feel pressured by our binary-addicted culture. How can a doctor decide what is best for a child's future sex life? What if that child were destined to grow up into a gay man?
When I was 11 and puberty came, I knew I was different from other boys. I still hadn't developed like others, and I was often teased for having small testicles, and I had gynecomastia (breast growth in a male). My energy was very low and I was a shy, awkward, emotional, self-conscious and sensitive "feminine" kid. My parents were concerned about my lack of development. They were told by the family doctor I would grow up to be "normal" and be able to have children.
I experimented sexually a lot starting in high school and struggled with my sense of gender and sexuality all through my Navy years. In my teens, I enjoyed dressing up and discovered a whole new world that was exciting and creative. I came to hate traditional gender roles with a vengeance! And I wasn't sure what world I really belonged to. I knew I was different, and I wanted to fit in somewhere.
When I was 30, I went to an infertility clinic because my wife and I wanted to find out if my body produced any sperm, since I had my doubts. Although I treasured my difference, I wondered why I had small breasts, big nipples and a smooth feminine-looking physique, never having developed a musculature like other guys my age. After several tests, I was informed that I had XXY sex chromosomes, 10 percent of the standard testosterone production levels for an XY male and no sperm. I was offered testosterone and testicular implants but refused. I've since learned that this anatomical variation happens 1 in 17,000 births, it is called Klinefelter's Syndrome, and exist within various creatures in the animal kingdom.
I was OK with the body I was born with but my obstetrics/gynecologist apparently was not. She prescribed synthetic estrogen to be taken every day for the rest of my life. She is very helpful and continues to watch over me, I am going through puberty again in my 40s. My once hairless body was now producing hair (much to my disgust) while I started little sparse of hair on my once bald face. I too am rounding in my hips and waistline also places where I would not have expected. I became quite soft and trim.
I had always felt caught between the sexes without knowing why. Emotionally and spiritually, I have always felt more feminine. During the first few months of estrogen replacement therapy, I felt that my male persona was dying. It was a time of overwhelming confusion, yet also a time of discovery. My sexual orientation hadn't changed; I am still attracted to women.
I didn't understand why I had been chosen to have this experience, and I often wondered whether I should have stayed who I was. I knew that being "caught between" would be my life challenge and that would be OK since I felt whole with all my unique parts. I have since gotten back in touch with my female side, and I have realized that I never completely lost her.
For many years I was filled with shame and a sense of freakishness, and was told by my mother to keep my secret. I didn't learn until 1977 that what I had was an intersex condition, that who I was originally was OK, and that I never had to take any hormones to change the way I looked. I like the term "intersex" because I prefer more choices than male or female. I think there is a continuum from male to female, like shades of grey between black and white. If only I had always known it was OK to be different and that I didn't really need to fit into our binary system, I think I would have been a much happier person. I might have avoided some of the pain that I've had to endure to fit in. It's been hard to feel like I belong to a community, any community.
When others look at me, they probably see a fairly handsome feminine man. In many ways, I look and acted like a typical man. I guess most people see me like that and don't think anymore about it. But I know that the truth is much more complicated. If you see a guy who looks "feminine," just remember you can't judge a book by its cover. And not all of us were created to populate the planet into extinction.
I am fortunate to have many wonderful friends who have helped me with my transition and have continued to love me just the way I am.
I want to be a part of a healthy and caring LGBTI community where "difference" is seen as an attribute, not a detriment. We are all diverse. We belong to many different communities. We are not all the same.
Many even in our community feel pressured by our binary-addicted culture. And many of us feel like we don't fit in. I decided that telling the truth of my story and educating others about who I am is the only way to go. I think as people we are always trying to figure out what it means to belong. And many of us are looking for a community to belong to. My journey is my way of knowing this is who I am and I am happy with it.
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Just a girl
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt July 25th, 2008 4:48 pm MDTMy emotional side is catching up with me when someone makes comments and I hurl into a series of crying fits, jeez what is that all about? Looking at my future as a woman and I am so excited, maybe you don't know I have lived in both genders and I know how both have the club advantages.
Males are truly pigs I am sorry for saying that, no I am not, that gender is a class in itself. The scratching and tugging, moving their packages to re-adjust oh my god wash your ass once in awhile or wear baggier clothes to get air in there. The high five slaps when their team makes the score, come on life can be much more exciting if you participate in the real sport. Did you happen to look at your fashion guys, brown and black shoes what total 20 different pair of the same thing then the athletic shoes give me a break. Put some variety in there won't you, heck no, that would mean you would have to use some of that brain muscle and that would strain something. Then the clothes, T-shirts, dress shirts, ties and pants and the same ole style of suits god where is the different flavors? Accessories where? What a cap or a watch, once in awhile a gold chain around a neck submerged in that hairy (yuck) mess. Standing around talking about how lucky we are getting laid or making the other fellow feeling bad that he didn't get any because he didn't do it like this or that and the high five again. Men have a special bonding club, it is so unique none other is like it. The power they have over women they think they are better but really they no clue, if it wasn't for the woman with her knowledge the business would have crumbled long ago. I really hate to be critical with that but they are like cave men, and I had to associate with them because I was taught that way. Young boys are taught to not cry, brush it off stand straight and move on. Don't be a sissy be a man and so be it that is what is drilled into your head. Put down that doll, no you can not hang out with the girls you will be labeled a sissy. Trucks, cars and skinning the knee, no tears your a man now. I hated that club so much, I didn't care I was a sissy so what but I could kick your ass if you provoked me enough. I have been in a whole 3 fights, only because someone wanted to test my abilities I guess.
Yes men have a club of their own and you have to be male to be in it, I will be loosing that membership one day oh well too bad but it never changes so I could tell you about it.
The club I have always wanted to be in has been in front of my face since I was born, I am different, I am all girl which I never had a chance to smile when I received flowers or giggle like the girl I am. This is a wonderful womanhood that I missed because I was being trained to be a boy, when I should have been wearing dresses and cute socks, puppy dogs and kitties oh so cute shopping for whatever sale is going on come on lets go. I can not say he is cute because I am not that way but you sure look hot in that you bitch I wanted to wear that. Being a woman can not be compared to anything out there, it is quite special and my hormones tell that every minute of everyday. Is my nail polish right and wait no it is the wrong color for this outfit, off it comes and the right finish needs to be on and oh look at that bathing suit no way wrong color it will make me look fat wait can I have that bag instead. Damn look at all those shoes, yes I am a shoe slut I can not help it so much variety and my god I don't have enough room well get rid of that spare bedroom I need the space. No heels darn they kill my calves, those wedges are beautiful and look what they do to my butt, I got to get one of each color and style wait does that have a belt to go with that oh I need a new purse darn It need that scarf too. Oh and the clothes please don't even get me started, the accessories I need that spare bedroom made into a walk in closet, I am so happy wait is that a split end oh my and where did that pimple come from. The plucking of hair to be so perfectly beautiful just for myself not because I have to impress anyone wait is that a gray hair time to color it no more gray please. Get my attention with perfume on display, the clothes I can shop for hours and hours does this make my ass look big oh how does this fit crap I need to loose more weight darn I wanted that too.
I am so emotional lately and also being unemployed sure doesn't help because it gives me time to myself too much which I really start to see the imperfections about myself. I once bought a pair of seven inch heels, what was I thinking back then, I tried oh did I ever try to walk in them and my tendons from my calves were screaming to get my feet out of those torture chambers. They sit on my shelf staring at me now, had to be a man that made that style because no woman is crazy enough to wear them. The weight I have on my body oh darn brownie I knew better but oh so delicious couldn't help myself and now I am paying for it pushups and crunches, running so many miles sweating oh how nasty sweat everywhere gawd I don't need this now, I want that skirt to fit right please no more weight.
Can't be wasting time on being a man anymore, I want to be the woman I am, the bond we have us girls and knowing what we are having in the emotional need gawd I missed that so much I guess I was always the girl and never knew it but I loved having that in me. Time to find a job and get back to saving money, I want my body to be perfect well almost because it will never be perfect, I sure can not wait to see myself in that wedding dress just one time.
So now you have it, the difference between genders. I love being a woman more than a man for the simple reason I am proud of who I am, I am stronger than the male species though they thought I was trained to be something I am not. It is a welcoming feeling when I am in the shower shaving the sparse peach fuzz on my legs and splashing bath oil on my body because I want to be soft and pretty. I have been doing this since I was a boy, and I do cry when I scrap my knee so what that doesn't make me a sissy I am just a girl.
[Comments Disabled]
Just a girl
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt July 25th, 2008 4:47 pm MDTMy emotional side is catching up with me when someone makes comments and I hurl into a series of crying fits, jeez what is that all about? Looking at my future as a woman and I am so excited, maybe you don't know I have lived in both genders and I know how both have the club advantages.
Males are truly pigs I am sorry for saying that, no I am not, that gender is a class in itself. The scratching and tugging, moving their packages to re-adjust oh my god wash your ass once in awhile or wear baggier clothes to get air in there. The high five slaps when their team makes the score, come on life can be much more exciting if you participate in the real sport. Did you happen to look at your fashion guys, brown and black shoes what total 20 different pair of the same thing then the athletic shoes give me a break. Put some variety in there won't you, heck no, that would mean you would have to use some of that brain muscle and that would strain something. Then the clothes, T-shirts, dress shirts, ties and pants and the same ole style of suits god where is the different flavors? Accessories where? What a cap or a watch, once in awhile a gold chain around a neck submerged in that hairy (yuck) mess. Standing around talking about how lucky we are getting laid or making the other fellow feeling bad that he didn't get any because he didn't do it like this or that and the high five again. Men have a special bonding club, it is so unique none other is like it. The power they have over women they think they are better but really they no clue, if it wasn't for the woman with her knowledge the business would have crumbled long ago. I really hate to be critical with that but they are like cave men, and I had to associate with them because I was taught that way. Young boys are taught to not cry, brush it off stand straight and move on. Don't be a sissy be a man and so be it that is what is drilled into your head. Put down that doll, no you can not hang out with the girls you will be labeled a sissy. Trucks, cars and skinning the knee, no tears your a man now. I hated that club so much, I didn't care I was a sissy so what but I could kick your ass if you provoked me enough. I have been in a whole 3 fights, only because someone wanted to test my abilities I guess.
Yes men have a club of their own and you have to be male to be in it, I will be loosing that membership one day oh well too bad but it never changes so I could tell you about it.
The club I have always wanted to be in has been in front of my face since I was born, I am different, I am all girl which I never had a chance to smile when I received flowers or giggle like the girl I am. This is a wonderful womanhood that I missed because I was being trained to be a boy, when I should have been wearing dresses and cute socks, puppy dogs and kitties oh so cute shopping for whatever sale is going on come on lets go. I can not say he is cute because I am not that way but you sure look hot in that you bitch I wanted to wear that. Being a woman can not be compared to anything out there, it is quite special and my hormones tell that every minute of everyday. Is my nail polish right and wait no it is the wrong color for this outfit, off it comes and the right finish needs to be on and oh look at that bathing suit no way wrong color it will make me look fat wait can I have that bag instead. Damn look at all those shoes, yes I am a shoe slut I can not help it so much variety and my god I don't have enough room well get rid of that spare bedroom I need the space. No heels darn they kill my calves, those wedges are beautiful and look what they do to my butt, I got to get one of each color and style wait does that have a belt to go with that oh I need a new purse darn It need that scarf too. Oh and the clothes please don't even get me started, the accessories I need that spare bedroom made into a walk in closet, I am so happy wait is that a split end oh my and where did that pimple come from. The plucking of hair to be so perfectly beautiful just for myself not because I have to impress anyone wait is that a gray hair time to color it no more gray please. Get my attention with perfume on display, the clothes I can shop for hours and hours does this make my ass look big oh how does this fit crap I need to loose more weight darn I wanted that too.
I am so emotional lately and also being unemployed sure doesn't help because it gives me time to myself too much which I really start to see the imperfections about myself. I once bought a pair of seven inch heels, what was I thinking back then, I tried oh did I ever try to walk in them and my tendons from my calves were screaming to get my feet out of those torture chambers. They sit on my shelf staring at me now, had to be a man that made that style because no woman is crazy enough to wear them. The weight I have on my body oh darn brownie I knew better but oh so delicious couldn't help myself and now I am paying for it pushups and crunches, running so many miles sweating oh how nasty sweat everywhere gawd I don't need this now, I want that skirt to fit right please no more weight.
Can't be wasting time on being a man anymore, I want to be the woman I am, the bond we have us girls and knowing what we are having in the emotional need gawd I missed that so much I guess I was always the girl and never knew it but I loved having that in me. Time to find a job and get back to saving money, I want my body to be perfect well almost because it will never be perfect, I sure can not wait to see myself in that wedding dress just one time.
So now you have it, the difference between genders. I love being a woman more than a man for the simple reason I am proud of who I am, I am stronger than the male species though they thought I was trained to be something I am not. It is a welcoming feeling when I am in the shower shaving the sparse peach fuzz on my legs and splashing bath oil on my body because I want to be soft and pretty. I have been doing this since I was a boy, and I do cry when I scrap my knee so what that doesn't make me a sissy, I am just a girl.
[Comment on this post]
Just a girl
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt July 25th, 2008 4:47 pm MDTMy emotional side is catching up with me when someone makes comments and I hurl into a series of crying fits, jeez what is that all about? Looking at my future as a woman and I am so excited, maybe you don't know I have lived in both genders and I know how both have the club advantages.
Males are truly pigs I am sorry for saying that, no I am not, that gender is a class in itself. The scratching and tugging, moving their packages to re-adjust oh my god wash your ass once in awhile or wear baggier clothes to get air in there. The high five slaps when their team makes the score, come on life can be much more exciting if you participate in the real sport. Did you happen to look at your fashion guys, brown and black shoes what total 20 different pair of the same thing then the athletic shoes give me a break. Put some variety in there won't you, heck no, that would mean you would have to use some of that brain muscle and that would strain something. Then the clothes, T-shirts, dress shirts, ties and pants and the same ole style of suits god where is the different flavors? Accessories where? What a cap or a watch, once in awhile a gold chain around a neck submerged in that hairy (yuck) mess. Standing around talking about how lucky we are getting laid or making the other fellow feeling bad that he didn't get any because he didn't do it like this or that and the high five again. Men have a special bonding club, it is so unique none other is like it. The power they have over women they think they are better but really they no clue, if it wasn't for the woman with her knowledge the business would have crumbled long ago. I really hate to be critical with that but they are like cave men, and I had to associate with them because I was taught that way. Young boys are taught to not cry, brush it off stand straight and move on. Don't be a sissy be a man and so be it that is what is drilled into your head. Put down that doll, no you can not hang out with the girls you will be labeled a sissy. Trucks, cars and skinning the knee, no tears your a man now. I hated that club so much, I didn't care I was a sissy so what but I could kick your ass if you provoked me enough. I have been in a whole 3 fights, only because someone wanted to test my abilities I guess.
Yes men have a club of their own and you have to be male to be in it, I will be loosing that membership one day oh well too bad but it never changes so I could tell you about it.
The club I have always wanted to be in has been in front of my face since I was born, I am different, I am all girl which I never had a chance to smile when I received flowers or giggle like the girl I am. This is a wonderful womanhood that I missed because I was being trained to be a boy, when I should have been wearing dresses and cute socks, puppy dogs and kitties oh so cute shopping for whatever sale is going on come on lets go. I can not say he is cute because I am not that way but you sure look hot in that you bitch I wanted to wear that. Being a woman can not be compared to anything out there, it is quite special and my hormones tell that every minute of everyday. Is my nail polish right and wait no it is the wrong color for this outfit, off it comes and the right finish needs to be on and oh look at that bathing suit no way wrong color it will make me look fat wait can I have that bag instead. Damn look at all those shoes, yes I am a shoe slut I can not help it so much variety and my god I don't have enough room well get rid of that spare bedroom I need the space. No heels darn they kill my calves, those wedges are beautiful and look what they do to my butt, I got to get one of each color and style wait does that have a belt to go with that oh I need a new purse darn It need that scarf too. Oh and the clothes please don't even get me started, the accessories I need that spare bedroom made into a walk in closet, I am so happy wait is that a split end oh my and where did that pimple come from. The plucking of hair to be so perfectly beautiful just for myself not because I have to impress anyone wait is that a gray hair time to color it no more gray please. Get my attention with perfume on display, the clothes I can shop for hours and hours does this make my ass look big oh how does this fit crap I need to loose more weight darn I wanted that too.
I am so emotional lately and also being unemployed sure doesn't help because it gives me time to myself too much which I really start to see the imperfections about myself. I once bought a pair of seven inch heels, what was I thinking back then, I tried oh did I ever try to walk in them and my tendons from my calves were screaming to get my feet out of those torture chambers. They sit on my shelf staring at me now, had to be a man that made that style because no woman is crazy enough to wear them. The weight I have on my body oh darn brownie I knew better but oh so delicious couldn't help myself and now I am paying for it pushups and crunches, running so many miles sweating oh how nasty sweat everywhere gawd I don't need this now, I want that skirt to fit right please no more weight.
Can't be wasting time on being a man anymore, I want to be the woman I am, the bond we have us girls and knowing what we are having in the emotional need gawd I missed that so much I guess I was always the girl and never knew it but I loved having that in me. Time to find a job and get back to saving money, I want my body to be perfect well almost because it will never be perfect, I sure can not wait to see myself in that wedding dress just one time.
So now you have it, the difference between genders. I love being a woman more than a man for the simple reason I am proud of who I am, I am stronger than the male species though they thought I was trained to be something I am not. It is a welcoming feeling when I am in the shower shaving the sparse peach fuzz on my legs and splashing bath oil on my body because I want to be soft and pretty. I have been doing this since I was a boy, and I do cry when I scrap my knee so what that doesn't make me a sissy, I am just a girl.
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Just a girl
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt July 25th, 2008 4:45 pm MDTMy emotional side is catching up with me when someone makes comments and I hurl into a series of crying fits, jeez what is that all about? Looking at my future as a woman and I am so excited, maybe you don't know I have lived in both genders and I know how both have the club advantages.
Males are truly pigs I am sorry for saying that, no I am not, that gender is a class in itself. The scratching and tugging, moving their packages to re-adjust oh my god wash your ass once in awhile or wear baggier clothes to get air in there. The high five slaps when their team makes the score, come on life can be much more exciting if you participate in the real sport. Did you happen to look at your fashion guys, brown and black shoes what total 20 different pair of the same thing then the athletic shoes give me a break. Put some variety in there won't you, heck no, that would mean you would have to use some of that brain muscle and that would strain something. Then the clothes, T-shirts, dress shirts, ties and pants and the same ole style of suits god where is the different flavors? Accessories where? What a cap or a watch, once in awhile a gold chain around a neck submerged in that hairy (yuck) mess. Standing around talking about how lucky we are getting laid or making the other fellow feeling bad that he didn't get any because he didn't do it like this or that and the high five again. Men have a special bonding club, it is so unique none other is like it. The power they have over women they think they are better but really they no clue, if it wasn't for the woman with her knowledge the business would have crumbled long ago. I really hate to be critical with that but they are like cave men, and I had to associate with them because I was taught that way. Young boys are taught to not cry, brush it off stand straight and move on. Don't be a sissy be a man and so be it that is what is drilled into your head. Put down that doll, no you can not hang out with the girls you will be labeled a sissy. Trucks, cars and skinning the knee, no tears your a man now. I hated that club so much, I didn't care I was a sissy so what but I could kick your ass if you provoked me enough. I have been in a whole 3 fights, only because someone wanted to test my abilities I guess.
Yes men have a club of their own and you have to be male to be in it, I will be loosing that membership one day oh well too bad but it never changes so I could tell you about it.
The club I have always wanted to be in has been in front of my face since I was born, I am different, I am all girl which I never had a chance to smile when I received flowers or giggle like the girl I am. This is a wonderful womanhood that I missed because I was being trained to be a boy, when I should have been wearing dresses and cute socks, puppy dogs and kitties oh so cute shopping for whatever sale is going on come on lets go. I can not say he is cute because I am not that way but you sure look hot in that you bitch I wanted to wear that. Being a woman can not be compared to anything out there, it is quite special and my hormones tell that every minute of everyday. Is my nail polish right and wait no it is the wrong color for this outfit, off it comes and the right finish needs to be on and oh look at that bathing suit no way wrong color it will make me look fat wait can I have that bag instead. Damn look at all those shoes, yes I am a shoe slut I can not help it so much variety and my god I don't have enough room well get rid of that spare bedroom I need the space. No heels darn they kill my calves, those wedges are beautiful and look what they do to my butt, I got to get one of each color and style wait does that have a belt to go with that oh I need a new purse darn It need that scarf too. Oh and the clothes please don't even get me started, the accessories I need that spare bedroom made into a walk in closet, I am so happy wait is that a split end oh my and where did that pimple come from. The plucking of hair to be so perfectly beautiful just for myself not because I have to impress anyone wait is that a gray hair time to color it no more gray please. Get my attention with perfume on display, the clothes I can shop for hours and hours does this make my ass look big oh how does this fit crap I need to loose more weight darn I wanted that too.
I am so emotional lately and also being unemployed sure doesn't help because it gives me time to myself too much which I really start to see the imperfections about myself. I once bought a pair of seven inch heels, what was I thinking back then, I tried oh did I ever try to walk in them and my tendons from my calves were screaming to get my feet out of those torture chambers. They sit on my shelf staring at me now, had to be a man that made that style because no woman is crazy enough to wear them. The weight I have on my body oh darn brownie I knew better but oh so delicious couldn't help myself and now I am paying for it pushups and crunches, running so many miles sweating oh how nasty sweat everywhere gawd I don't need this now, I want that skirt to fit right please no more weight.
Can't be wasting time on being a man anymore, I want to be the woman I am, the bond we have us girls and knowing what we are having in the emotional need gawd I missed that so much I guess I was always the girl and never knew it but I loved having that in me. Time to find a job and get back to saving money, I want my body to be perfect well almost because it will never be perfect, I sure can not wait to see myself in that wedding dress just one time.
So now you have it, the difference between genders. I love being a woman more than a man for the simple reason I am proud of who I am, I am stronger than the male species though they thought I was trained to be something I am not. It is a welcoming feeling when I am in the shower shaving the sparse peach fuzz on my legs and splashing bath oil on my body because I want to be soft and pretty. I have been doing this since I was a boy, and I do cry when I scrap my knee so what that doesn't make me a sissy, I am just a girl.
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Untitled Post
Dan™ & Erin™ July 17th, 2008 10:29 pm MDTNate, Lynne and I drove to Cincinnati for dinner with Deb and Tammie. Jasmine was going to come, but Rocky was sick. I understand completely.
We had a lovely meal at a Thai place. We were completely full and getting ready to drive home. We were in fact in the car, when Lynne suddenly shouts "KITTENS!"
Playing around the dumpster, were five of the most adorable kittens you will ever see. We went over to the dumpster while they scampered around. On the side of the restaraunt, someone had erected a little shelter and their were clean plates scattered around.
While we were investigating, the owner of the restaurant and his daughter came out. It seems the mother had abandoned the kittens (or perhaps she was hit by a car or something), and the kittens had been motherless for about five days.
The owner, and elderly Thai man had been trying to get them into shelters, but Cincinnati apparently has weird rules and they hadn't been able to find people to take them. (Go ahead and say it, an asian place where kittens weren't being used as food...) anyway...
We decided that we need to rescue them and at least bring them to a shelter in Columbus.
I currently have five kittens playing in my basement.
Here's the deal. We'd like them to find homes. The Shelter is OK, but ideally, if there is someone out there that would like a kitten, now's your chance. FREE to a good home.
I've posted a photo gallery to weaken your will.
Seriously, just go an look. What could it hurt? ehh? ehh?
[cuteness]
We are taking them to the shelter tomorrow around four pm, so you don't have a lot of time to decide. Seriously, they can't be more than four or five weeks old, they've already had rough lives. Wouldn't you like to give them a happy home?
[1 comment]
Why we are the way we are
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt June 26th, 2008 9:28 am MDTI was watching a show on BBC tonight regarding a beautiful young girl whom was opposite of myself, she wanted to be a man and she was prepared to become him at no thought or no costs to which he could find happiness.
Now why do we do that? It is something that is wrong something terribly programmed in our minds that we are in the wrong body.
I can honestly say I am not in the wrong body, I share a body which is both male and female which I have learned to live in. I didn't like it, I have always said God did me wrong for creating me but I have learned to accept it.
I do not wish for people to feel sorry for me, why? It is my problem, and since I was eleven years old, as my world crashed around me, I learned it was me to guide myself in the right direction. I kept quiet and stayed hidden which is why I am here now.
That young lady on BBC, had her breasts removed with complications, 3 surgeries and still have one breast that is now bigger. But she is fighting for her manly chest and now is talking (SRS) Sex Reassignment Surgery, which they remove a portion of her forearm in order to build a penis. Now you tell me, if someone is willing to go through this much pain and misery then you will have to believe there is something wrong in the mind that wants to correct what isn't right.
I hear this all the time, I read about it in other writings, diaries, journals, blogs of men who have the same problem. It is scary since each of these people have full lives, they have everything and when they fulfill their desires everything is gone, vanished but their dreams are complete.
Suicide plays a key to transition, I like many others have tried to stop our problem from surfacing by suicide. Taking pills to help me sleep to die quietly was my answer, but, I failed because I didn't want to hurt the people around me. Strange how my mind works, I will suffer to make others happy. So I called an ambulance and let them know which pills I swallowed so I can live our wonderful life together. Shauna wanted to live that day, I wanted to bow out, and easy way out. You can thank Shauna for my being here today.
You see each and everyone has dealt with this issue and society just thinks we are perverts. Why? I still love women, whether I have breasts or not, I will always be with a woman. And many others will be with women, some may not but many others will. The same goes for female to male, they go to female because they are male.
Being a transgender isn't the clothes, the makeup or god knows why the sex. It is the human who has a gender dysphoria, it is a medical explanation (discontent with the biological sex they were born with). Many transgender people do not regard their cross-gender feelings and behaviors as a disorder.
I do realize that not everyone will be able to understand what is written here tonight, you can research what I have wrote, or even ask me for an explanation and I will try to explain so even you may understand.
Yes were are different than the gay, lesbian and bisexuals. A majority of the transgender are heterosexuals, but our problem isn't sex it is gender.
So as I close this tonight, I just would like to say that I thank everyone for supporting Shauna and I with our 'disorder' and I hope that she has a wonderful life ahead of her.
SB
[Comment on this post]
Why we are the way we are
Shauna Elizabeth Baggtt June 26th, 2008 9:27 am MDTI was watching a show on BBC tonight regarding a beautiful young girl whom was opposite of myself, she wanted to be a man and she was prepared to become him at no thought or no costs to which he could find happiness.
Now why do we do that? It is something that is wrong something terribly programmed in our minds that we are in the wrong body.
I can honestly say I am not in the wrong body, I share a body which is both male and female which I have learned to live in. I didn't like it, I have always said God did me wrong for creating me but I have learned to accept it.
I do not wish for people to feel sorry for me, why? It is my problem, and since I was eleven years old, as my world crashed around me, I learned it was me to guide myself in the right direction. I kept quiet and stayed hidden which is why I am here now.
That young lady on BBC, had her breasts removed with complications, 3 surgeries and still have one breast that is now bigger. But she is fighting for her manly chest and now is talking (SRS) Sex Reassignment Surgery, which they remove a portion of her forearm in order to build a penis. Now you tell me, if someone is willing to go through this much pain and misery then you will have to believe there is something wrong in the mind that wants to correct what isn't right.
I hear this all the time, I read about it in other writings, diaries, journals, blogs of men who have the same problem. It is scary since each of these people have full lives, they have everything and when they fulfill their desires everything is gone, vanished but their dreams are complete.
Suicide plays a key to transition, I like many others have tried to stop our problem from surfacing by suicide. Taking pills to help me sleep to die quietly was my answer, but, I failed because I didn't want to hurt the people around me. Strange how my mind works, I will suffer to make others happy. So I called an ambulance and let them know which pills I swallowed so I can live our wonderful life together. Shauna wanted to live that day, I wanted to bow out, and easy way out. You can thank Shauna for my being here today.
You see each and everyone has dealt with this issue and society just thinks we are perverts. Why? I still love women, whether I have breasts or not, I will always be with a woman. And many others will be with women, some may not but many others will. The same goes for female to male, they go to female because they are male.
Being a transgender isn't the clothes, the makeup or god knows why the sex. It is the human who has a gender dysphoria, it is a medical explanation (discontent with the biological sex they were born with). Many transgender people do not regard their cross-gender feelings and behaviors as a disorder.
I do realize that not everyone will be able to understand what is written here tonight, you can research what I have wrote, or even ask me for an explanation and I will try to explain so even you may understand.
Yes were are different than the gay, lesbian and bisexuals. A majority of the transgender are heterosexuals, but our problem isn't sex it is gender.
So as I close this tonight, I just would like to say that I thank everyone for supporting Shauna and I with our 'disorder' and I hope that she has a wonderful life ahead of her.
SB
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Help me get another facial!
Dan™ & Erin™ June 12th, 2008 11:43 am MDT[clicky-click]
For some reason, gay people and their friends are often in the service industry. Bartenders, waiters, stylists, airline attendants. You don't take advantage of these relationships per se. It just makes your life easier.
One of my "Shopping Friends" Kelly, works at Phia in the Short North. Last week, I took k8e in for her first "Big Girl" salon visit and Kelly harped on me to come in. I cut my own hair, I do my own eyebrows, I really don't need to go to a salon...
or so I thought.
I went in this morning and got the "New Customer" Discount. $25 for a cut, eye brow wax, facial, hot towel and scalp massage.
WOW. I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years. Seriously. My best friend Michael always went to Salons and I chided him for wasting his money. I never understood. I would get a manicure while he slipped away into the bowels of the salon. He was always perkier and happier, but I thought it was just because he had spent a lot of money, not because he had been pampered. I get it now.
So here's the deal. Call Phia. Ask for an appointment with Kelly, and tell them that Daniel Frederick referred you. You'll get $10 off your first visit, and more importantly, "I'll" get $10 off "MY" next visit.
Seriously. I need to do this once a week. I feel like a million dollars. This needs to be part of my Friday ritual.
Please please please. Help me get a facial.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, I still giggle when I say the word "facial".
[3 comments]
Trouble is HOME!!!
Dan™ & Erin™ June 11th, 2008 4:45 pm MDTWe had almost given up hope. My phone rang again this afternoon. Pete, the cook at Victorian's Midnight Cafe had adopted a stray from behind the bar last Thursday. It was Trouble!
He's home safe and sound. He has a brand new collar, fresh pet grass and more hugs and kisses then he probably wants.
That stupid douche. When I get done crying, I'm going to kill him!
Lynne and I are in Michigan for her nieces graduation party this weekend, but we'll be home Sunday.
HOORAY, the TROUBLE CAT is home SAFE!!!!!!
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Things We Lost in the Fire
Dan™ & Erin™ June 9th, 2008 7:33 am MDTWhen I was about fifteen, I discovered the incredible joy of cross-country bicycling. For four years, I competed on an amateur level in Centuries and Double Centuries all over the mid west (a century is 100 miles). I was good, never great, but I did it because I loved the feeling of getting out on the road with the wind in my hair. It's one of the reasons I started shaving my body, and still do to this day.
In 1989, I entered the Marine Corps, and except for occasional stints with mountain biking, I never really got back in cycling.
Thirteen years ago, after seven different knee surgeries, the Navy finally decided they couldn't fix this broken Marine and gave me a medical discharge. Over the years, I've tried running, swimming, pilates, a dozen things. For some reason, I never got back into cycling.
This last week, I've been walking about three miles a day looking for our missing cat Trouble. I've spent each day sweating and generally feeling awful, but each day seemed a little easier.
Today at Target, something got into Lynne and I. I can't say what it was, but we suddenly found ourselves packing two brand spanking new Schwinn bicycles into our car.
After about an hour of tinkering and adjusting our bicycles, we heading out for the bike paths by the Olentangy River.
I don't remember feeling like this since 1989. Wind rushing past my face. Leg muscles pumping as I shitfted gears and climbed a hill. The smooth effortless thrill of pushing myself faster and faster.
I've found something that I lost. I can't believe that I didn't miss it. I'm not going to give this up again. I'm not going to ever give away something that makes me feel this good again.
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