URNotAlone

Discounts for the Fantasia Fair conference

February 24th, 2008 8:29 pm MST

If anyone is considering going to this year's Fantasia Fair conference in October, you may want to register before March 1st. As of March, the early registration discount will no longer be available.

If you are not familiar with Fantasia Fair, it is a week-long event held in Provincetown, MA. It is more than just a conference and more than a vacation. Like most other conferences, there are workshops during the day. In recent years, workshops have been presented that deal with such topics as developing a feminine voice, makeup application, hair removal, facial feminization surgery, burlesque dancing, sex and relationships, and of course, gender theory. Each evening is some social event such as formal banquets, a fashion show, drag show, or concert. But what sets Fantasia Fair apart from other conferences is that it is not held in a single hotel. Instead, workshops and events are held at different locations throughout the tourism district of Provincetown. The town is a big part of the special feeling people get from attending.

The villiage of Provincetown is well known as a GLBT Mecca and much of the town's ecomony is centered around tourism, so the townfolk are very serious about making sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable. You can walk down the streets of Provincetown en femme and no one will treat you with anything other than respect and courtesy. You can go shopping or get a massage or get your nails done dressed however you wish.

Unlike most other conferences, there are no "vendors" at Fantasia fair. Instead, the business of Provincetown are the Fair's vendors. Since we bring to town a significant amount of people each year, the local business give special discounts to Fair goers. These discounts, on top of the end-of-season sales, makes Provincetown a real bargain.

But one of the best things about Fantasia Fair is the people it attracts. Not just the world-class experts who give the workshops, but all of the people who every year make the trip to this villiage. Many of these people are wives and significant others. Each year, there are workshops for significant others and partners as well as for couples. The friendly environment of Provincetown and the Fair give you lots of time to meet other couples and individuals in T-partnered relationships, to share stories and insights, to become part of a community. The Fair organizers have long understood the value of the Fair to couples, and how much the presence of partners adds to the Fair. To encourage couples to come to FanFair, there is a generous discount for SO registration.  

A large portion of the planning for each year's Fair is done in the late winter and early spring and the larger the numbers that can be guarenteed the better the deals that can be struck when making the arrangements for the Fair. The Fair organizers pass on these discounts to those who can register early. To take advantage of these discounts, make sure that you register before March 1st.

If you are not 100% sure if you can make it to this event, you can register now and get nearly a full refund if later on you have to cancel. Check out the Fantasia Fair website for details on the refund policy. The Fantasia Fair website is at http://www.fantasiafair.org. 

I can't wait to see all of you in Provincetown this October!

Hugs,

Jamie
 

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Scholarships are available for Fantasia Fair

July 15th, 2007 4:46 pm MST

I just wanted to pass along something of interest...

As many of you know, I am actively involved with the Fantasia Fair conference which is held every October in Provincetown, Massachusetts.  

Ask anyone who has attended a conference and they’ll tell you that they can get expensive. Even though Fantasia Fair is one of the less expensive events, it may be hard for some people to come up with the funds to attend.

To help out those with financial difficulties, the organizers of Fantasia Fair will be offering a number of scholarships. Scholarship recipients will receive free tuition to the Fair, including all seminars, workshops, and events, meals, and room accommodations for seven nights. 

The deadline for applying for a scholarship is July 31^st.  

There are some restrictions, so if you are interested, you should take a look at the details of the rules on the Fantasia Fair website. You can find these details at http://www.fantasiafair.org/Scholarships.asp . 

If anyone has any questions about this conference or others, I would be happy to chat with them. 

-Jamie

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That Fabulous Gown

April 1st, 2007 8:36 pm MST

People ask me about the “pink gown” that I am wearing in some of my profile pictures, so I thought that I would mention a bit about it - especially since there is a story that goes along with it.

The gown itself is actually a custom-made corset with a matching ballroom skirt (made with 8 yards of material!!), shawl, choker and wristlets. Although some of the pictures make it look pink, the gown is actually a deep magenta. It seems that in bright sunlight, the magenta really shines and in dimmer light, especially during a beautiful red dusk, the gown looks pink. Having the colors seem to change is really quite neat.

The back story of the gown starts a bit over two years ago when I had just been diagnosed with a potentially fatal medical condition. The statistics gave me an 80% of surviving. Intellectually, I can appreciate that those are pretty good odds. Emotionally, I kept focusing on that 20%. Also, I had about a 50% chance of some serious complication. Needless to say, I was kind of stressed out. At first, I was feeling find but soon started getting a whole host of problems like going blind in one eye, experiencing chronic fatigue, and developing stomach problems. I was starting to get really depressed. The whole experience really made me appreciate my mortality.

Maybe I was being selfish, or maybe I was feeling sorry for myself, but I wanted to do something nice for myself. I wanted to treat myself to something special. A couple of months later, I was attending the “First Event” conference that was being held by The Tiffany Club of New England. In year’s past, I had always admired the wonderful corsetry work done by Ann Grogan’s group Romantasy. Ann was presenting at the conference again that year, so I decided to treat myself to a custom-made corset.

Actually, it was much more than just a “treat” for me since I really didn’t care how much I had to spend. I hardly glanced at any of the prices, focusing only on what I liked and what was possible. Ann was wonderful to work with and really made the experience even more special for me. She and I looked over her many albums showing pictures of her past works and we discussed what could be done and how. I tried on numerous corsets that she had available with her so that we could see how things looked on me and how I looked in the various corsets. She offered so many wonderful suggestions. Well, as you might guess, one thing led to another and the corset turned into an entire ensemble!

Ann carefully took what seemed to be a zillion measurements, after which came the hard part – waiting for a delivery in the mail. I patiently waited those next weeks… Eventually, I got something in my hot little hands but it wasn’t my corset. What I did get was a mockup of the corset made of muslin – a kind of closely-woven white cloth that is similar to cotton. By giving me this muslin corset first, I was able to tell just how well the final product would fit and provide any additional instructions on how to better improve the fit. Not being a professional seamstress myself, I was delighted to find that the muslin corset came with detail instructions on how to check the fit and provide the proper feedback. I actually used a black felt-tipped marker to draw on the corset and used pins to tuck it in here and there. Then I sent the marked up corset back so that the real one could be constructed. I went back to waiting patiently. As I was waiting, I received some rather good news. I discovered that the initial medical diagnosis was incorrect. It wasn’t that the doctors did anything wrong, it just took a while to figure things out. Of course, I was quite relieved. Things started looking up. I started shedding much of the weight that I gained and the vision in my eye was slowly starting to return. Even though I was going to be alright, I couldn’t see cancelling the corset ensemble.

Soon enough, the gown was delivered. I was ecstatic. It fit like a glove – better than a glove. Most “off the rack” corsets, which are made for the typically shaped body of a GG, don’t fit the typical male body well and frequently are not the most comfortable to wear. Since this corset was made for me specifically, it hugged me perfectly. I can wear it all day and still feel quite comfortable. It looks wonderful and most importantly, I feel wonderful wearing it.

This gown hold special meaning for me. When I first ordered it, I was afraid, depressed, and worried. By the time it arrived, I was renewed, hopeful, and optimistic. Now, every time I see or think of this outfit, I am reminded that, no matter how bad your situation, things are not always as gloomy as they may seem!

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Out of the closet and into direct sunlight...

March 21st, 2007 1:50 pm MST

There have been a few changes in my life recently and I thought that it would be good for me to write them down someplace. Since I have made so many wonderful friends on URNA, I couldn’t think of a better place to write them than on URNA.

First of all, I want to thank the many people that I have met on URNA and thank all of you who have given me so many wonderful comments and encouragement. It has been because of your strength that I have been able to be strong and do some serious soul-searching. I was so flattered to be ranked second in Februray's MOTM contest!

One thing that came from this soul-searching was that I had to finally admit that my slow blending of genders over the past years has made it pretty obvious that I am not the man that I used to be: I have had a ridiculous amount of electrolysis so I don’t have a beard any more… My hair is below shoulder-length and streaked with highlights… My eyebrows, which were once thick caterpillars, are now thin and gently arched… I recently had 1984 hair grafts to give my face a more feminine hairline… I recognize the fact that I can’t really hide my being transgendered without insulting the intelligence of the people around me.

Embracing my fears, I decided to step into the light of day, so to speak, and make my presence known. It’s not that I am telling everyone I know that I am trans, but I am not hiding it either. But I did tell me mom!! After forty-some years, I thought that my mom would have had her suspicions. I guess it was like hiding in plain site – she never had any idea. She took the news well. She was visiting a couple of months ago, just after I had my hair transplants. She asked me why I got the hair grafts and I said “Partially for vanity, but mostly because I am transgendered.” At first she thought that I was joking. Late on that day, a delivery truck arrived asking for “Jamie Dailey.” She asked who “Jamie Dailey” is and I told her that was my femme name. At that point, she realized that I wasn’t joking… Over the next few days, we talked about what being transgendered was all about. She asked me if I could recommend any good books for her to read so that she could learn more. I told her that I would have to get back to her on that…

That is when it dawned on me. Although there are a great many books on the transgendered, most were about transsexuals. Since I don’t know if I consider myself TS, I didn’t think that books on transsexuals would be the best thing for my mom to read. Sure, there are some books that deal with crossdressing, but many of them focus on the fetishistic – and that is not what I wanted my mom to read either. Similarly, I don't believe that I "suffer" from any mental disorder, so texts on gender dysphoria seemed equally misplaced. I found a small number of books that did a reasonable good job at describing the "happy cross dresser," but none of them felt like the best way to describe my situation to my mom. Eventually, I did decide on “Dress Code” by Noelle Howey. Still, the lack of books that dealt with being “the happy crossdresser” made it clear to me that there was a need. So, I made another decision – I will create a website that tells my mom what I think that she should know. Since I have been fairly involved with the gender-community, especially Fantasia Fair (www.fantasiafair.org), and Connecticut Outreach Society (www.ctoutreach.org), I would make the website a resource that the community could use.

So I started www.IAmTransgendered.com. That name pretty much takes me out of the closet and into direct sunlight. I will use this website to tell my mom – and anyone else’s mom - that my gender "issues" are better described as "enhancements." She’ll read that there are a great many of us who identify as transgender and are happy, productive, and respectable members of the community. Hopefully, she will come to understand the basics of gender theory, such as the difference between sex, gender, and sexual preference. It is my hope that she will understand that, regardless of why I am transgendered, I am transgendered and no one should feel bad about that - not her, not me, and not you. One of the goals of this website is to provide advice and resources to those individuals who are serious about their "gender journey" but are not necessarily planning on transitioning to living fulltime as a woman. To do this, I want to provide simple, easy-to-understand explanations of various gender issues as well as point to other useful resources - online or real life. Of course, my thoughts and experiences, as well as those from others in our community, will be presented to provide a personal perspective. If you have any thoughts or would like to share your experiences, I would be honored to include them. I have only a handful of pages up so far with a number of topics that still need pages. If you can offer suggestions for topics, I would love to hear them.

Hugs,

Jamie

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