URNotAlone

Kellie

I AM ten feet tall and bulletproof!!!

f*ck cancer- 8%!!!

Sarah

At some point in our transitional lives we look in the mirror and see our new selves and smile as we realize that we are finally becoming what we truly are.  it was at that moment for me that i began to relax and have the confidence i needed to get me the rest of the way. i had been living full time for about two years at that point, had my name changed, established my self in the community i lived in, and was living a rather quiet simple life, but i loved it cause i was living as me. oh i still had days where i would question and wonder, but if there is one thing i have llearned it was that confidence somerimes carries more weight than make up! hahaha.. with that said i wish all my sisters and brother the confidence to carry on,,

Allison M.

One of the stories of dressing up as a youth that I've told in the past and don't mind telling here involves the day I got caught.  Yes, my crossdressing secret was uncovered.  Here's the story....

I was 15 and in my sophomore year in high school (Fall 1984), and I was riding home from school alone when a certain song that I regard as my unofficial anthem (I'll tell you what it was later) coincidentally played on the bus radio.  When I got off at my bus stop, I made a mad dash for my house with that song still in my head.  I figured it would be the perfect time to try on some of my sister's clothing, since I knew I would be home alone for a while; my sister stayed behind at school for drill team practice, and my mother would be still on her way back from out-of-town with my older stepbrother, who was going to be moving in with us that day. (The less said about Evil Wicked Stepbrother, the better.)  The first thing I did when I walked through the door was head for my sister's room, where I plucked an orange swimsuit and a bra (if I recall correctly) from her dresser and headed into my room.

I was trying on the swimsuit when I noticed my mom and Evil Wicked Stepbrother pulling into the drive. (Uh oh.)  At this point, I figured if I put my regular clothes back on, sneaked back into my sister's room, and put back her swimsuit and bra, Mom would very well catch me red-handed.  What I did instead was take off the swimsuit and placed it and the bra into one of my dresser drawers (I placed them underneath my other stuff for good measure).  Well, guess what?  With Evil Wicked Stepbrother moving in, he needed space for his clothing.  And guess what Mom decided to do?  She decided to clear out one of my dresser drawers.  Guess which drawer she cleared out? Yes, the one where I just hid the swimsuit and bra.

When Mom noticed that swimsuit and that bra in my drawer, she immediately questioned why they were in there.  I played ignorant ("I don't know.Was there a mix up?") as she proceeded to put them back in their proper place.  But less than a minute later, she put two and two together and called me into my sister's room.

"You've been wearing them, haven't you?" she asked in a quiet yet stern voice.

"Yes," I quietly nodded.

"For how long?"

"I only started it recently." (That was a lie.  I feared if I told her the truth and said I had been doing this since I was 11, she would really, really be mad and give me a severe punishment.)

What Mom said next (and the quiet, firm emphasis in her voice) actually kind of surprised me (then and still today), in that she never took it past this warning: "Well," she told me, "this had better come to a goddam screeching halt!  I better not catch you doing this again!  You are a full grown MAN!  You are not a girl!"

"I understand," I quietly replied.

With that, I sulked back into my room and started on my little bit of homework for the evening.  Later that evening, Mom did ask me in passing (and out of earshot of anyone else at home) a few other questions about what she discovered, such as if I ever revealed my dressing up to others at school.  I presumed she was concerned my well being when she asked that particular question, thinking of possible taunts and teasing that could have occurred had I told anyone at school (and I struggled a lot in school back then).

Mom never brought up her discovery again after that night.  I'm also pretty sure she never brought it up with my stepfather when he returned from one of his road trips; if she were to tell him, I imagine he would punish me every which way short of disowning me.  I did become much more cautious with trying on my mom's and sister's clothing; yes, there were close calls, but I learned my lesson from getting caught and really kept things covert.  Naturally, to this day I have never revealed to any relative (Mom included) that I still dress up as a woman.

Oh, that song on the bus radio as I was heading home?  It was "A Girl in Trouble" by Romeo Void.  Yes, it's a very apropos song, for whenever it starts playing on the radio or in my head, I think back on that day and how I have matured as a crossdresser and as a person since then.  Even though I was caught, it didn't keep me down; my feminine spirit took a bruise, but it was never silenced.  As Romeo Void says in the song's refrain, "A girl in trouble is a temporary thing."

JameyAlana

I am not the person i used be. On this mother's day, I feel that I'm am compelled to be the best woman I can be. I struggle with acceptance by my family. I want the to see me as Jamey and not James. That person does not exisit anymore. I don't think they understand who I am. I spent the late afternoon and early evening listening to everyone calling he not her and James or Jim. I am hurt I am angry I want to lash out. In the past I would have done that, for I was so unhappy and was living a lie.

I now know that what I still feel inside is part of who I am. the anger,pain, and bitterness is still there. it has somehow avoids consuming me. I simply want to be me. I want love and compassion. They may never fully accept me. Its their loss. I will not let it trap me. For I am now free as a bird, and i can fly as far and as high as I want to.

Tammie Lynn...

This is something that I wrote for Facebook, thought I might share with everyone here...maybe for those who are struggling with family, it will give them some encouragement.

Being a transsexual, I, like others in the LGBT community, we have an insight on unconditional love, that love comes from a Mother. For some of us, it is to much to ask for, their Mom's can not transcend their upbringing or their indoctrination from their religions, so unfortunately for some, Love does come with certain conditions.

In my case thankfully my Mom lies somewhere in between, although she has not been able to fully embrace who I am, she does still love me and we do still talk. 

I hope that those less accepting Moms can someday come to terms with themselves and reconnect with their children, because the hurt that a child feels, cast away and alone without the love of their mom is unbearable at times takes its toll on the souls of these children and in a lot of cases ends in tragedy, not to mention what they have to do to survive.

I know for the most part on this Mother's day I am speaking to the choir but ...Love & Cherish Your Mom for who they, for what internal battles they might have fought, because we have tested our Mother's Unconditional Love to the fullest.

I Love My Mom! and Our Mom!

Connie Franks

Is It Being Shy or just a Bad Rap?

Introverts...Top Five

I came across an interesting piece about introverts: this one the “10 myths about” model. So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on the book writers life experience):

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Small Talk in small portions is quite tolerable, quite enjoyable even. Seems to me though “small talk” often turns to gossip in which I shy away from. I would be remiss to not admit going on & on once immersed in a subject I find interesting. Thank goodness I most certainly do not go on for days, lol. Finding a middle ground on this particular issue remains a challenge.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

‘Fitting In’ is indeed exhausting. The thing about “Fitting In” is we’re told early on, not to care about what others think about you. Is it not human nature to do exactly the opposite? Years ago, I used alcohol (the great equalizer) for assistance in this matter.  Funny how often you can quickly tell when someone’s not being real or honest. I find the eyes so telling. My friend Anne “with an E” calls me socially challenged, have not figured out if she's being sarcastic or not. However, I have argued that women are predominantly better with social skills. Only to be reminded in so many words; Welcome to the rodeo Connie! Ouch! And I my clothes, purse, shoes, nails, makeup and jewelry must stay in my color pallet and flawlessly applied, lol. Social etiquette along with “Political Correctness” which started in the 80’s frowns on calling a duck “A Duck”, go figure?

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Of these five myths this is the hardest to broach. My “close friends” can most certainly be counted on one hand. There is a laundry list of aspects to close and true friendships. I wholly concur with the writer’s views; further discussion on this topic would be better served independently. It seems in the new cyber world, the term “Friend” has lost so much of it’s true meaning. Very much like the term “Free” this or that?

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Here is most certainly the proverbial double edged sword with this one. Everyone enjoys some alone time. I find living alone quite satisfying with some wonderful advantages. On the other hand yes, it can get incredibly lonely at times. Ironically I do so crave an authentic and sincere connection with that ONE PERSON, call me silly.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

What more can be said here?  Valued for their novel ways of living?  i.e. new, original, fresh, different, or unique.  Really who can be truly happy as one in a herd of sheep, I ask?  However, like everyone I too have habits.

I’d add that even though he points out that introverts aren’t shy, they aren’t shy because they’re introverts, but sometimes we are independent of the introvert thing.

I found many parallels in the writers’ life experience and my own which prompted me to share these top five myths. Maybe you can find some in yourself? Am I an Introvert? Most certainly to some degree more or less.

Getting my thoughts down in writing remains a challenge. Fast thinking teamed with slow fingers, bad combination. I however, suspect it’s more an issue with organizing those thoughts into something decipherable. Anyway, this is my humble opinion. I am a lot of things, being kind of shy is one of them. Is that such a Bad Thing?

XOXO…Connie

Claudia Nic...

Hummm... Sunday morning. I´m feeling a bit lazy today but at the same time, my little round thing behind woke up a bit hungry too - you know what for. I got a lot of stuff to do at home, but I may find a time to feed it ... any volunteer?

Jacqueline ...

Aren't you curious to know why?

Rebecah Cross

I talked it over with the husband and decided to give this friendship stuff one last try. We are having a small party here on sunday the 28th, if some one wants to come let me know, if no one wants to show up, oh well I am done trying the stuff.

Kellie

One year- still ten feet tall and bulletproof!