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Perry
Perry

The problem with Stealth

April 15th, 2014 1:13 pm EDT

There’s stealth, then deep stealth. There may be an even deeper level.

So effective these are, a new term for this kind of transwomen has become vogue: "Trap”

 

Transwomen running stealth or deep stealth sometimes (I hear) struggle because they have a secret that at some point is going to come to the surface and need explaining. Especially if the guy is straight.

 

That doesn’t mean a guy like me - one who is attracted to transwomen specifically - is gay. My orientation is a different orientation from gay or straight. Nothing more peculiar than a transwoman frankly.

 

So when a transwoman runs deep stealth, there may be some bonafide advantages, one of which is you get attention from straight guys. Probably a lot of attention. I’d love to hear some other advantages. More and better job offers? Less hassle?

 

One distinct disadvantage seems to be though that the men who likely would treat such women (treating them for who and what they are), are likely to overlook them, thinking they’re cis-gendered.

 

Should those who earn the coveted “passable” title be concerned? I think about this sometimes. I know some transwomen indeed see themselves as WOMEN (minus the trans if they could) and therefore want to have a relationship with a straight guy. Perhaps those who go full-op fit this variety as perhaps some others.

 

But I’m also sure there are transwomen who will gladly keep their penis, but would still like to be well treated (with respect, admiration and equality. I’m not talking about being lavished with wealth…what kind of respectful woman of ANY kind wants that? Oh, right. None). If that’s the desired outcome, why make it so difficult for someone who would accept them as they are to find them, by essentially making themselves invisible?

 

Open to hear others’ opinions here.


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Lynn
Lynn

21 day meditation with Oprah & Deepak

April 14th, 2014 8:55 pm EDT 21 day meditation on find one's flow with Oprah & Deepak Chopra. Wow it is amazing. For each day there is a theme to focus on. Today was finding the security within ourselves. Like this because there is also a reflecting meditation journal where there are 4 questions to answer, so it guides you on what you want out of the 21 days. I thought I would share it with you all, would love to discover what other people think of it. Just started today, but each meditation is streaming for 5 days. Peace & Oneness. Here is the link to the 21 day mediation. Can't post the link, but look under Deepak meditation 21 days, or oprah
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marcus
marcus

Trial and Errors

April 14th, 2014 9:24 am EDT

Saw in the paper the other day of something that might be alarming to some and not to others.

(It s)Seems that an individualwanted the courts to recognize the removal of the word "it" from the dictionary. 

Apparently the person requesting this is post op tranperson. 

Or someone is not but learly yet still supportive for rights of others.

 

The individual said they are offended by being catergorized as "it" and want "it" removed from the dictionary,permanatly.

I hope that Webster's dictionary is listening, and can ease up on generalization of the wording to something than by apparance of either male or female! Not call someone "it"!

 

Comments welcomed and encouragedLaughing


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Vivian Mari...
Vivian Mari...

Vacation to short

April 14th, 2014 4:08 am EDT

Just a note that im back from my week in sunny florida and back to work,,,

 

 

           Cool


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Loren
Loren

14 April 2014

April 14th, 2014 12:53 am EDT

There must be a hundred easy reasons to back away from the course I am on. For some reason they all relate to pain. Twice a week electrolysis is enough all by itself! Personal relationships that become problematic because of your transition. It's an easy call if living as a male is painful to you. For those of us who were in deep denial, even a painful existence was exceptable because it was an old pain we were used to. Besides how do you know how painful it was unless you try something else?

I am following my Doctor's instructions with regard to hormones and honestly I have never felt better! I was bracing myself for all manor of bad things like depression, moodiness and crabbiness. None of that has happened! If anything I am more patient with people and totally at ease. My body is changing (a little) and for once I am liking it. There is much to like about life when you feel your own body is no longer the enemy. Happily I did not abuse it and find it to be in really remarkable condition for my age.

Do I have any reason to reverse course? Other than some pain that's tiresome. No. I am very happy with the way things are going. My life is changing and I have lots of house keeping to do. lol I look around and when it comes to "guy stuff" I have tonnage! The product of denial and over compensation. It will take me years to get rid of this stuff. Then I will be truely free....


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Emma Latta
Emma Latta

where to begin?

April 13th, 2014 11:25 pm EDT

For most of my life since I was little I wanted to be female. Growing up I can remember wearing my mom's clothes any chance I could get because I felt that I was supposed to wear that kind of clothing and not my boys clothing. My mom would catch me and I would get into trouble. I was just hoping that would be a way of trying to tell her who I was. As I got older I started feelng more and more feminine and I started learning about what girls were supposed to have and what boys were supposed to have and that is when things got to much for me. I tried commtting suicide I don't know how many times. I had every diagnosis labled as being because I did not want to come out yet. I even went as far as trying to cut the parts off myself just so somone would have to do something to them to make me female. 

As I got School did not get any eaiser for me I identifed more with the girls then I did with the boys and I was bullied a lot for being that way I had the trashcan dumped on me. I was called queer and all other sorts of names I really don't want to get into on here. It was my senior year when I finally just stopped careing what other people thought of me.

It was right after I graduated from college when I finally had the courge to announce I was transgender. It was at christmas that i did this and I felt it was the best christmas gift I could of given myself.

This past January I started hormones and lets just say its been the best time of my life to go from What I was as a miserable male to what I am now a Pre op female who is ready for whatever life has instore for her. 

 


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Rebel
Rebel

How Rebel came to be

April 13th, 2014 9:40 pm EDT

"when did you start dressing" and "how did you start dressing" are fairly common questions but for me they are questions that cut to the bone for me. You may have noticed I tell people I have only dressed for 4-5 months. Some people it started with a closet raid, or a forced experience by a sister (and they found they enjoyed it). However, for me it started with a very abusive friend that was highly interested in crosssdressing himself. He used to dress and make me watch and eventually manipulated/blackmailed me in doing it as well all the way up until the 8th grade (there is way more to this part of the story, but I am leaving it out for personal reasons). I never thought much about crossdressing before then, but I started to have independent thoughts of my own. I really hated myself for liking crossdressing, because how I got into wasn’t pleasant experience so I hated that I now enjoyed it by myself or alone. I had no idea why this happened and I hated it. After a long journey of trying to repress these thoughts, and hating my friend for doing this to me. When seven people in my family died and a diagnosis of Cancer for my mom (the same cancer that took her moms life a month before) all in the same year I fell into a depression and the only thing….I mean The Only Thing that got me out of bed was dressing like a girl. That’s when I realized that I needed support for this and I need to figure out what’s wrong with me and why my friend did this to me. My SO didn’t understand this and left me even though I told her about my experience and thoughts before. 

 

         This is what I know now to be true my friend needed support with his transgender feelings and roped me into because I was his friend. There is nothing wrong with me (or him) I just learned how to cope with life by dressing as girl. I might not be transgender and just have been put in an awkward place by someone needing help, I might be transgender and denied it for so long because of the experiences I had. Who knows and as of right now who cares. I still feel like I only started dressing a few months ago cause that was my decision not someone else’s. I have looked for support on here and get a lot of judgment by some for not being one way another but I as I always say if you knew my story you’d by me a drink. 


[2 comments]
Spirit
Spirit

Freedom vs safety

April 11th, 2014 1:53 pm EDT

ok, so it's been awhile since I could really LIVE on URNA but this is the only journal i have anywhere and i wanted to say some stuff.  so here it is....

 

Recently, a stabbing attack occurred in the US state of Pennsylvania.  Because People in the US have more freedom to own weapons than in most other countries, and because this particular freedom has become a topic of controversy, media coverage of the incident seems to center around the issue of Gun Control.

Pro-Gun Control Activists remark that if the crazed boy had had access to a firearm, the incident would've been so much worse.  Anti-Gun Control Activists wonder if there wil now be a push for "Knife Control"...

Perhaps the best anecdotal coverage i've seen to date was by BBC world service, who opined, (ok, for some reason I can't grab the link... must've been considered inflammatory...) but the gist was, "In Amercia the real issue is which Kind of homicide is acceptable" -Dark Humour at it's best, and while i lament the suffering of the injured, i agree the Yankees have, to some degree, lost sight of the forest for the trees.

The stumbling block is really the question of, "is freedom stil the important to Americans?"

Because Freedom AND safety cannot ever truly coexist.  If Safety becomes the overriding concern, Freedom MUST be sacrificed.  There is no other way to assure safety when the means to behave unsafely exist anywhere.

Which sounds like a cut and dried issue on the face of it.  But things get muddy when one digs deeper.

For instance, does anyone have the means to truly assure a more draconian legal policy would be followed?  The same set that cry wolf at the idea of a legally armed populace believe the government (or, at least elements of it) murdered several of our public figures.  They also advocate dismantling, to a large degree, our intelligence services, to the degree there's actually a debate as to whether a cut and dried perptrator of sedition should be considered a whistleblower instead of a criminal.

So, this blonde bimbette asks... without the NSA how will you assure that Crazy people aren't disobeying Gun Control laws?  It's never been easier to fabricate deadly weapons than in the present era, so what stops sociopaths, who are, by definition, unrestrained by society's laws, from fabricating gubns with 3D printers and making gunpowder out of cremora?  Tough nut, huh?

By now, all have obviously figured out that i'm pro Freedom.  But that means FREEDOM: religious freedom, freedom of expression, freedom to smoke cigarettes and hunt animals, freedom to own guns, and freedom to get an abortion if i get knocked up (ok, maybe not me, but...)

By supporting Freedom i acknowledge that it's MY responsibility to protect myself.  Police and the military protect society.  Unless i can afford a (hunky, hopefully) bodyguard, it's on me to keep my lil size 4 butt outta the crackey.

And, albeit by a narrowing margin, my country tends this way.  Europe and the UK (both of which i love) have tended towards a more restrictive approach on freedom.  In some ways, European societies have paid the price.  Having lived on both continents, i've got absolutely no problem griping about how one's entire future is set at age 16 in most of Europe... Unless, youdecide to emigrate to AmeriKAY, where it's still (at the moment) possible to either reivent yourself and return to the old peat, or else create an entirely new life in an environment that's harsher but offers potential one just doesn't find in socialist societies.

And I can't help but wonder where all the rugged European individualists will go if America decays into assembly line socialism.

 

...just sayin'  xoxo  Sue out ;p


[2 comments]
Perry
Perry

The problem with instant gratification

April 11th, 2014 11:43 am EDT

I believe all life experiences teach us. Everything that happens to me is good. The human world challenges this perspective. Yet I persist. Why?

Only humans view things as “good” or “bad”. All other living things deal with shit only when they must making no judgment. Humans have this ability. Somehow though we forget, caught in “past” and “future” - concepts, not realities, that exist in our heads. In the forgetting we suffer.

So it is with desire.

I would love to enjoy constant companionship of a transwoman. That desire has been with me for at least 10 years. I’ve literally travelled around the world looking for a transwoman I could call my partner. Plenty of stories to share there. At every turn, that desire has been thwarted, leaving me empty.

Perhaps you have this experience, this feeling of emptiness. For you it may be not finding a person who could love you for who you are (and for who you’re not). Maybe you do have a partner, but some other aspect of your life - your appearance, a certain procedure you’d like, but can’t afford right now - leaves you incomplete, empty or simply wanting more.

Our world inspires this thing called desire.

What is its purpose? Especially desires which remain just out of reach? If there is no bad, then desire instructs us somehow. Desire in extreme can lead to destructive and self-destructive outcomes: choosing the wrong person, mistaking lust or infatuation for love, seeking casual sex are examples. But. If there is no bad, are these truly mistakes? Perhaps desire’s goal is to lead us down these destructive paths towards rock bottom. From there we learn the lesson. Or, we repeat the process until we do.

Technology allows nearly instant gratification. Instant gratification spurs even more desire. Suddenly, we can’t wait for anything. In human civilizations, we forget nature’s pace: gradual, gentle, soft but generous, slow.

Instant gratification runs contrary to nature. Give it up, nurture delayed gratification and you gradually (remember, it’s natural), slowly discover a peace within yourself and with the world. Old people know this. It is one reason for the saying “youth is wasted on the young”.

A caterpillar, budding fern, gosling, even infant humans….none of these expressions of nature toil and sweat over the future, dissatisfied with who or what they are in the moment. Each one, eventually, becomes something beautiful. Yes, even a trans person. I’m writing about beauty that is beyond skin deep.

A major challenge with returning to nature and its timing is the idea/belief that we only live this one life. If that is the case, our haste may be justified. When I study and observe the world around me, I find little evidence for that assertion...

Huge opportunity is the lesson learned called letting go of instant gratification. Especially regarding who you’re becoming. As the Rolling Stones put it, you can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need. In that, life is beautiful. Including instant gratification.


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Kelly kirk ...
Kelly kirk ...

Just Why ?

April 11th, 2014 10:25 am EDT

I have been a part time crossdresser for the past nine years of my life .There is no better feeling then dressing up like a women and makeing myself look sexy.I just wish there was someone out there in this world that would accept me as a crossdresser.Just how can I love something if no one understands me.I am just a person that loves to wear women’s clothes and feel pretty and think of myself as a women from time to time.The people that make fun of people like me just don’t understand that it’s not easy to look good.Some people say that sports is there number one thing in life that keeps them going. I say dressing as a lady keeps this Girl going and I am pround of it.Dressing up is not something that I do no it’s in my heart I just wish I could have been a bright pretty lady in this world then trying to hide something that I love so munch !!! :)


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