From the critically acclaimed blog writer Ana Cristina Garcia and after a very long hiatus, here her new blog entry that will make you fall asleep in boredom.Here are some of the media’s reactions to this literary accident:
“Same old, same old”The Cross-dresser Times
“Not the same story again” Drag Magazine
“If I read one more story like this from her I will commit suicide”The TG Herald
But why take their word for it when you can verify yourself?Take the plunge…
An Unscheduled Visit to the Therapist
The last time I had been out to the therapist was on December of 2008 and since then I had only been out one more time, last week, with my sister-in-law.That outing was cut short and did not get to do all we had planned.Therefore, I was left a bit anxious to be out again and luckily I got to go out, on my own, just a few days later (Monday, October 19).Following are the accounts of this unexpected but satisfying time out and about as Cristy.
On Sundays temperature dropped down dramatically (for tropical standards) and I decided that if it continued on Monday I would dress and try to go out.The reason I would prefer a cold day is that I can wear clothes that cover up my legs and chest without having to shave.I had dreamed about going out in one of the warm mini-dresses that I had worn, with tights and high heels, for a photo session last January.I was undecided between the gray and the brown sweater-mini-dresses seen on the links below (from January):
My wife was out of town so I could not ask for her opinion so I emailed a couple of photos in each outfit to my sister-in-law and she recommended the brown.I was all made up and ready to put on the dress when I got her response and took her advice.I wore it exactly as I did in January except that I wore a brown top underneath to cover the white corset since the dress has a see-through knit in the middle, as you can see in the photo above.I also wore a different watch and styled my hair a bit different, without the bangs.One thing that made a big difference in my appearance was a piece of advice I got from my s-i-l regarding how to put on makeup base by pressing the sponge against the face rather than rubbing it.I totally recommend that, as the coverage is more even and the pores are less evident.I could not help to think that the first time we went out with her it was me giving makeup advice to her and now, after paying more attention to her appearance (which she says was motivated by seeing how her brother-in-law could make himself into a convincing woman).I guess that there is always something to learn, even for a veteran.
This is how I looked after returning from my long-awaited little adventure into the real world:
Notice the different hairstyle and wristwatch.Other than that it is all the same as in January.
Once all was in place I put plenty of Ralph perfume on me and I was ready to head out at around 5 p.m.My plans were to drive to the mall and wonder about for a while but then it occurred to me that I could stop by the therapist’s office and say hello to the secretary with the excuse that I had lost my cell phone and their number with it.Remember that to her, I do not live in town and come every so often to visit family and when that happens I try to schedule and appointment.
As is usually the case when I go out, I always have someone on call in case I run into trouble.That person is usually my wife but since she was out of town, I called my sister-in-law and she was up to it.
I got there and took a final check on my makeup and hair before getting off the car.Once I was ready I got off the car, walked to the doctors office and rang the bell.It was about 5:10 and I knew the doctor would be seeing his last patient of the day.To my surprise, the door was opened not by the secretary but by a female psychologist that works there too.I said hello and noticed that the secretary was on the phone as we smiled at each other.She seemed pleased to see me and after hanging the phone up we greeted with the traditional kiss on the cheek.
I sat down and she said that it had been a long time.I replied that I had lost their telephone number and therefore had not been able to set appointments on previous visits to town.She then gave me a card with the numbers and I put it in my purse as I commented that maybe I would call before I returned home (in Miami) to set an appointment.She said that the last patient of the day had canceled and that the doctor could see me right then.I replied that it would be fantastic but I did not have any cash on me to pay for the session.She said that she would go upstairs and ask the doctor if I could pay later and he said that he would see me in five minutes.As you can imagine, this is not what I had planned but I thought it would give me the chance to interact a bit more as Cristy only this time with someone who knew who I really was.The secretary offered me something to drink and I declined her offer arguing that I had just met for coffee with some girlfriends.She then asked if I had cut my hair and I replied that I had only styled it differently.As a matter of fact, since it is a wig, I guess that I have always had it the exact same length up to a micron.We chatted about this and that and then the doctor called for me so I got up and went up the stairs.He came out to greet me and said that it was a pleasant an unexpected surprise.
Conversation with the doctor was very casual an informal, this time.We talked about what I was wearing and I told him that I was a bit self-conscious given that I was wearing a mini-dress but he said that I looked very good in it and that my legs looked ok in tights and a little thin if anything.He also mentioned that the only thing that looked a bit suspicious were my hands but that for a tall woman that would border on the big side.Keep in mind that for our culture, at 5’ 6” without heels, I am a tall girl.If you add, at least 4” heels then I am much taller than the average female here and even those who are as tall or taller then I, are a lot thinner, most of the time.All in all, I am lucky to still able to pass for a taller than usual woman.
We talked about many topics including his family, specially his grandchildren.I felt right in character all the time and the only odd thing was a call that my male side had to made to the secretary to cancel the appointment “he” had for Wednesday.I could not afford two appointments so close to each other and since the issues of my male side are under control there was not much need for that.For those who are not aware from previous postings, Cristy does not go to therapy to be treated on cross-dressing or anything else.It is just a mere excuse that her male side cooked up along with the doctor so that she could have a safe environment in which to interact and where everybody else thinks of her as a genetic female (or so it seems so far after 13 visits over a 3 year period).
When discussing how would we handle payment for the session he said that my male side could bring it or that Cristy could send payment with someone else but that would be difficult.It occurred to me that if I had a chance to dress the following Thursday (my dressing window would end on Friday) Cristy would drop by to pay herself.I am hoping for this last option, as you can imagine.
Before the session came to an end, I told the doctor that I had plans to go to the mall and that I needed him to check if there was anything suspicious.Again, all of the times I have been to the mall on my own I have worn pants and not dresses and this dress was short.He did not see anything out of order, I greeted him goodbye and came down the stairs.As I came down the secretary was still there but was on the phone again.I just waved her goodbye and as she put the phone aside to say bye I told her that I might stop by on Thursday to pay for the session.There was a guy in the waiting room and I just smiled, greeted him and went out the door.
I walked to my car and started driving to the mall. I arrived at the mall at around 6:30 and it was already dark. The mall was more crowded than I expected, and I had trouble finding a parking place.I finally found one and walked towards the escalators.My first stop was at a drugstore to get me some throat pills.A guy who treated me like any other customer tended me.He always used the female form and did not give any unusual or strange looks.After paying I put the pills and change in my bag and went on my usual shoe store “pilgrimage”.It is amazing how once you have attained self-confidence; the stomach butterflies are a thing of the past.I do miss them but enjoy my outings more now that it is second nature.
I went in almost all the shoe stores in the mall and in all of them interacted with the clerks, who were usually female.Again, there were no signs of anyone noticing I was not a woman.Even though it was cold outside it was warm inside the mall and I got thirsty.I walked to the food court to get me something to drink at a Burger King.This time it was a man who tended me and all went smoothly.While I was at the cashier a lady stood next to me and we smiled at each other.She then said “Wow, you really look elegant”I thanked her and told her that I had dressed like that because it was cold but it was too hot inside and that why I was getting something to drink.Once I got my soda I said goodbye to the lady and looked for a table to sit.I sat for about 5 minutes while I finished my soda and then got up, dropped the cup in the trash and walked towards the lady’s room.
When I got in the lady’s room there were two other women grooming themselves up.I stood next to the long mirror and placed my bag on the vanity top to get my makeup out.You have no idea how I felt when I saw my reflection and I was these two other ladies and I was one of them.I was just another girl touching her makeup up before heading back home.The reflection in the mirror was that of a confident woman and one that was at ease with her appearance.I thought to myself, I look every bit as feminine as any of those other ladies.I touched up my lips, as I did not need powder or eyeliner and headed out feeling more confident and womanly than never before.
Before leaving I went to a couple more shoe stores and then went to a kiosk to pay for parking.Again I was kindly tended by a guy and walked to my car.I then drove back home with my confidence all charged up.I so needed this because it had been too long since I had been out in the wild at my own pace.One more confidence booster was that I was wearing more flashy clothes and even then I did not receive any suspicious looks from anyone that I noticed.
Being out in the real world is the ultimate experience for a cross-dresser and once you taste the sweet nectar you just can’t live without it.Dressing for staying in the confines of four walls is no longer as thrilling as it used to be.I’d rather wait for a long period to dress and go out than dress often and remain caged.
I am really looking forward to this Thursday and the idea of going to the therapist office to pay for my session last Monday.If you were able to get this far, I commend you for your perseverance and promise not to torture you with something like this again :-)
I am now officially Daniel Aloicious Saint James. I still have to get a new Social Security Card, Drivers License, etc. But it's been recognized by the court!
I'm really digging the new name.
Once I get around to getting my new ID, who wants to meet for drinks? I was thinking the "St James Tavern" on 4th? ehh ehh?
I may not get it until Monday. It depends on my schedule and such.
Well, it's definitely been an interesting year. A lot has happened. I ended a relationship with the best girlfriend I've ever had (though she still wasn't right), I've watched my prosperity complete dry up, I've almost completely stopped smoking and my drinking is almost not even noticeable at this point. I've fallen in love with the most incredible woman and I'm slowly figuring things out.
When the year began, I was worried about money. My company stopped producing and selling adult content which resulted in a massive drop of revenue. Around the same time, I broke my primary revenue producing website preventing people with IE 6 from accessing it, so I spent most of the year working on a new design which finally went online in August.
I really thought most of my financial problems were my fault. The result of changes in my companies business model and my own failing's running the web sites. In fact, I was so busy trying to figure out what I was doing wrong that I didn't notice the world collapsing slowly outside my window.
I had to cash in my kids college funds to pay bills. I had to cancel my life insurance to pay bills. When my car died, I decided to sell it for scrap rather than repair it. Fewer bills again. My house is usually a bit chilly and dark to save on utilities. I've reduced my monthly budget by around 2,000. I've been selling furniture to buy groceries.
For everything that had gone wrong, I'm optimistic. Not because I see an end in sight, but because I feel like I'm getting a handle on things. I have the best friends of my life. I'm in love for the first time in my life. I'm relatively healthy and my kids are healthy and seem well adjusted.
I think things are going to get worse. A lot worse, but I'm confident that we'll all get through this. As a planet, we need to step back and assess what's important. We need to focus on the things that need to be done, and we need to start working towards a better future.
For those of you who still think that the election was close, take a look at these two maps. One shows the counties in their actual size shaded blue or red based on what the population voted.
This map shows each county with a size set by the population. It looks a lot less red.
This is far more of the mandate the George W Bush claimed four years ago, this is a landslide. For those of you that fear a socialist government, let me just state the following:
1. Socialist nations like Denmark, Normay, Sweden and Holland have:
Highest quality of living
Highest per capita income
Highest literacy rates
Lowest crime rates
Lowest infant mortality rates
Things like HRT and SRS are covered by the national health
I've heard a lot of people claim that Obama was a socialist. He's not. I wish he was, but I would have been no more enthusiastic of his candidacy.
Be that as it may, why would socialism be so scary anyway?
Halloween has always been my favorite Holiday. Godless heathen that I am, there aren't many holidays that don't have the flavor of one of more gods tainting them. That's all right. I love Solstice decorations, and even some Christmas decorations (I usually have angels on my tree). Easter is fun because of coloring eggs and candy. I guess you could say that I enjoy some holidays that have been co-opted by religions in spite of that.
Halloween though has always had a special place in my heart. There isn't a related religious holiday to be seen. It's all about dressing up and having fun. A final harvest festival to usher in the cold snowy months.
I just got news that is going to make Halloween even better for me.
I just got a notice from the Clerk of the Court of Common Please, Franklin County Ohio, Domestic Division. After six long irritating years of playing silly buggers in the court system, the judge has finally lost patience and is going to grant me an uncontested divorce!
My children and I haven't even SEEN their mother is eight years!
I always celebrated Halloween in Boston with the drag queens and transvestites. It's always a really fun time. I've been planning a "Bachelor Party" to coincide with my divorce. I think this is going to be an annual event!
Anyway, I'm excited. The only fly in the ointment is that I am supposed to be in court at 9 am and my flight for Boston is scheduled for 1:20 pm the same day, so I may have to see about pushing it back. Either way, I'm pretty excited!
Chas will be interviewing for assistants and performers for an installation piece the night of Gothcoming.
Daniel is interviewing for Box Dancers and general assistants.
Wednesday August 3rd 2PM - 5PM 7PM - 9PM
The Invisible Studio 219 King Ave Columbus OH, 43201 http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=219+King+Ave+Columbus+OH&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=44.069599,68.203125&ie=UTF8&ll=39.990454,-83.012202&spn=0.010456,0.016651&z=16&iwloc=addr
If you are unable to attend the open casting call, you can contact Chas or Daniel directly to set up and interview.
Chas Ray Krider 614 327-2793 Daniel Goode 614 546-9117
Today, Lynne and I bought the most adorable Chihuahua. We found her through http://petfinder.com. She was from a mother that was rescued from a puppy mill.
She is quite possibly the most adorable animal that we've ever seen. I'm really glad we are able to give her a good home. Our cats of course don't seem really thrilled yet, but I'm sure they will come around.
It's been a good weekend. Things aren't turning around yet, but progress is being made in all of the right directions.
When I was five years old, I over heard my older foster sisters (10 and 12) talking about going to a "Teddy Bear Picnic". I was so excited. I imagined that the Teddy Bears came to life and played with you. I begged them to let me come along but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, I resorted to the tried and true method of little brothers everywhere and implored my foster mother. She told my sisters that they HAD to take me and they relented. Or so I thought...
With my radio flyer tied inexpertly to my tricycle (which was still wobbly from my failed re-enactment of the Monkee's opening credit trick where they rode mopeds down stairs) and my favorite Teddy Bear snuggled securely for the ride across town, we pedaled to the corner of Weir Street.
At the very moment that we reached the corner, my sisters, with some pre-arranged signal, sped away on their two wheeled bicycles.
I yelled and I cried, but the tears made it impossible for me to see where they went.
I rode my tricycle down the alley behind our house and crawled into the wagon with my Teddy Bear and cried and cried and cried.
From that point on, I hated them and I never forgave them for depriving me of my chance to go to the Teddy Bear Picnic.
Fast Forward 33 years, and my lovely girlfriend Lynne informs me that there is an opportunity for us to volunteer with Nationwide Children's Hospital at the Teddy Bear Safari at the Columbus Zoo. You'd better believe that I jumped all over that.
This is probably my favorite volunteer gig to date. Seeing children of all ages with their teddy bears. Eyes full of wonder as they help their furry little friends get check ups and vaccinations.
Truth be told, I wasn't ready to quit when my shift was up. They had to tell me repeatedly that I could go, and finally, Lynne had to drag me away. I would have stayed all day if I could.
I didn't get to create many happy memories when I was a child, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let another child miss out on that opportunity.
To commemorate this awesome day, I bought a new teddy bear, and I even got her a friend. Without out further ado, let me introduce you to Flo (IceFlow) the polar bear cub, and her best friend Xavier the cephalopod.
I've been rather lax in posting and I'm a little behind so here are photos from our trip to Cedar Point last weekend.
Nate, Lynne and I drove to Cincinnati for dinner with Deb and Tammie. Jasmine was going to come, but Rocky was sick. I understand completely.
We had a lovely meal at a Thai place. We were completely full and getting ready to drive home. We were in fact in the car, when Lynne suddenly shouts "KITTENS!"
Playing around the dumpster, were five of the most adorable kittens you will ever see. We went over to the dumpster while they scampered around. On the side of the restaraunt, someone had erected a little shelter and their were clean plates scattered around.
While we were investigating, the owner of the restaurant and his daughter came out. It seems the mother had abandoned the kittens (or perhaps she was hit by a car or something), and the kittens had been motherless for about five days.
The owner, and elderly Thai man had been trying to get them into shelters, but Cincinnati apparently has weird rules and they hadn't been able to find people to take them. (Go ahead and say it, an asian place where kittens weren't being used as food...) anyway...
We decided that we need to rescue them and at least bring them to a shelter in Columbus.
I currently have five kittens playing in my basement.
Here's the deal. We'd like them to find homes. The Shelter is OK, but ideally, if there is someone out there that would like a kitten, now's your chance. FREE to a good home.
I've posted a photo gallery to weaken your will.
Seriously, just go an look. What could it hurt? ehh? ehh?
We are taking them to the shelter tomorrow around four pm, so you don't have a lot of time to decide. Seriously, they can't be more than four or five weeks old, they've already had rough lives. Wouldn't you like to give them a happy home?
For some reason, gay people and their friends are often in the service industry. Bartenders, waiters, stylists, airline attendants. You don't take advantage of these relationships per se. It just makes your life easier.
One of my "Shopping Friends" Kelly, works at Phia in the Short North. Last week, I took k8e in for her first "Big Girl" salon visit and Kelly harped on me to come in. I cut my own hair, I do my own eyebrows, I really don't need to go to a salon...
or so I thought.
I went in this morning and got the "New Customer" Discount. $25 for a cut, eye brow wax, facial, hot towel and scalp massage.
WOW. I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years. Seriously. My best friend Michael always went to Salons and I chided him for wasting his money. I never understood. I would get a manicure while he slipped away into the bowels of the salon. He was always perkier and happier, but I thought it was just because he had spent a lot of money, not because he had been pampered. I get it now.
So here's the deal. Call Phia. Ask for an appointment with Kelly, and tell them that Daniel Frederick referred you. You'll get $10 off your first visit, and more importantly, "I'll" get $10 off "MY" next visit.
Seriously. I need to do this once a week. I feel like a million dollars. This needs to be part of my Friday ritual.
Please please please. Help me get a facial.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, I still giggle when I say the word "facial".
We had almost given up hope. My phone rang again this afternoon. Pete, the cook at Victorian's Midnight Cafe had adopted a stray from behind the bar last Thursday. It was Trouble!
He's home safe and sound. He has a brand new collar, fresh pet grass and more hugs and kisses then he probably wants.
That stupid douche. When I get done crying, I'm going to kill him!
Lynne and I are in Michigan for her nieces graduation party this weekend, but we'll be home Sunday.
When I was about fifteen, I discovered the incredible joy of cross-country bicycling. For four years, I competed on an amateur level in Centuries and Double Centuries all over the mid west (a century is 100 miles). I was good, never great, but I did it because I loved the feeling of getting out on the road with the wind in my hair. It's one of the reasons I started shaving my body, and still do to this day.
In 1989, I entered the Marine Corps, and except for occasional stints with mountain biking, I never really got back in cycling.
Thirteen years ago, after seven different knee surgeries, the Navy finally decided they couldn't fix this broken Marine and gave me a medical discharge. Over the years, I've tried running, swimming, pilates, a dozen things. For some reason, I never got back into cycling.
This last week, I've been walking about three miles a day looking for our missing cat Trouble. I've spent each day sweating and generally feeling awful, but each day seemed a little easier.
Today at Target, something got into Lynne and I. I can't say what it was, but we suddenly found ourselves packing two brand spanking new Schwinn bicycles into our car.
After about an hour of tinkering and adjusting our bicycles, we heading out for the bike paths by the Olentangy River.
I don't remember feeling like this since 1989. Wind rushing past my face. Leg muscles pumping as I shitfted gears and climbed a hill. The smooth effortless thrill of pushing myself faster and faster.
I've found something that I lost. I can't believe that I didn't miss it. I'm not going to give this up again. I'm not going to ever give away something that makes me feel this good again.
From Ape to Babe – How Far Should a Cross-Dresser go with Digital Photo-Manipulation?
In the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the temporary-transformation pill). At last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web-based community where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so, how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality? I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I. Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually, something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following links and you tell me:
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that Faith is already a gorgeous middle-aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross-dressers it is very hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets, lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo-manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the photos from then (see links below).
It was after seeing how natural my tape-produced cleavage looked that I thought I was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the “authentic tape-created cleavage” shown in the links above:
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others) that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right, Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA, please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel, etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”. I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr account:
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the “virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to shave all my body. In such cases, I have always made it clear whenever I think it might be misleading.
From now on I might continue posting my “body and face alterations” and my “ virtual body snatching” photos exclusively in the new Fickr account, where I will not post any regular photos of me. I am still debating if I should post the original next to the manipulation in the case of those photos that are not my own since I have not used them with permission. I am also debating if I should open the profile to friend adds and the photos to comments but once you read this document, the decisions will have been made and maybe a Pandora Box will be opening. It seems that in this virtual world our appearance will be composed of our own raw material and our, or other people’s, skills to enhance it. We will eventually get to the point where it is not only about how good or bad we look but also how good can our photos be enhanced by ourselves or by others.
It seems that I just can’t keep a blog entry short but if you were able to stand the reading to this point, we have finally reached the end :-). Thank you for your interest and I will appreciate your feedback if you consider it appropriate.
My friend Chris is running Karaoke at EXILE on Wednesdays. I didn't make it last week, but I'm going tonight. I'm really not sure why every single Karaoke DJ downtown is one of my friends, but I blame Jasmine.
It gives me a chance to try out my awesome new leather chaps that I got for $60 in Lancaster. Who knew there would be such awesome savings out in the sticks!
We are probably heading over around 10:30 or 11. Exile is located on 4th St between 1st and 2nd Avenue. The bar used to be called Patrick's.
I used to go to Exile all the time, but over the years, too many memories built up and I couldn't go in without crying (shut up Jasmine). Remember, I'm not a goth. I'm a gay leather power bottom. I only started frequenting the goth scene because I needed a place to go where my investment in clothes wasn't going to be wasted.
If you want to come along, I'm getting a crew together. Come with me and experience my roots. It will be a walk down Amnesia Lane.
In the Beginning There
Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the
masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an
opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the
temporary-transformation pill).At
last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the
film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined
with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like
us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us.There is rarely a web-based community
where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche.MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook,
Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom
to share this important aspect of our lives.There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG
community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place
where many of us made our debut.We
use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of
course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the
same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can
share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most
important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view).It is through photos that we show our
friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give
or ask for help in improving our image.We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about
and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches
our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting
and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important.How many times have we come across a
profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend?Yes, it is important to have a
face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to
be, appear real to others.Now,
unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these
friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for
real.Every day we see profiles of
people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic
females or photos that are evidently photomontages.Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in
their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not
able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they
honestly wished they had.After
all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence,
values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls,
beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are
not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we
can pass for a beautiful woman.It
is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised
and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or
those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community.There is a strive to look as pretty as
possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here,
and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls”
in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came
Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography
was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop.Yes, we are talking magic here.All of us who have come across
Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the
possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the
program.The dilemma that we face now
is:Is it valid to use Photoshop
or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos?And if so, how much of that magic
should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality?I am sure that there are diverse
opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you
my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not
to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to
correct the color and exposure of my photos.Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore
revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose.I did not consider this practice deceitful
since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair
but it sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more
revealing tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me being
shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I. Consequently,
Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually, something I can
do, in reality, only on rare occasions.Is this level of photo editing deceitful?I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all
the photos we see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most
cases, been heavily touched up?If
you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following links and you
tell me:
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of
Faith Hill.Granted that Faith is
already a gorgeous middle-aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make her
look a lot younger and shapely.Notice how her face is made smoother and slimmer as well as her
arm.Also notice how the little
hump showing on her back is removed and the clavicle is made less
prominent.I have not read the
text of the article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but
it explains in detail how it was done.The following link provides even more dramatic examples of how a professional
touches up photos from famous people for magazines.Click on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the
enlarged photo to see how it was before and then roll out to see the after
again.
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger
and with more cleavage and every little imperfection is taken care of to
present a perfect image.This is
the perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in
the link below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty
standard since it is produced electronically.Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair we
see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be.Having a good raw material to start
with makes the task easier but the photos they show us are idealizations achieved
through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects that are close but not
quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on their own.Every woman, and I count here TGirls
too, would like to have the figure of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we
know that their extremely slim waists and exaggerated proportions can only be
produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with Photoshop.Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks
to photo editing, quite unrealistic.Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
Where does reality end and deception begin?In the case of cross-dressers it is
very hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image
that is opposite to our real gender.Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets, lashes, nails, etc. are
the physical tools we use to create an illusion.What is the difference then, between that and getting
similar results with digital photo-manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already
outstanding beauty electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to
look like beautiful women, do it too?After all, we need it a lot more than they do.Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far
should we go with it?In my
opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in
reality if we have the opportunity.What I mean by this is: if
I know I can look better if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then
why not get a virtual shave?If I
know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave
my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop?I used to just remove the chest and leg hair with Photoshop until
one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to shave my whole body and
produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape.I could not believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror
and even now, when I see the photos from then (see links below).
It was after seeing how natural my tape-produced cleavage
looked that I thought I was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either
shading the flat chest or by superimposing and blending real boobs from real
girls (it just occurred to me that maybe some of the boobies I have used for my
photos might have already been touched up LOL).I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit
carried away in the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then
do it right, don’t you agree?The
links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I like to
call “Photoshop Implants”.Every
time I post this type of photos I include a note stating that the breasts are
not real.Please notice the
difference with the “authentic tape-created cleavage” shown in the links above:
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my
humble opinion, to use photo editing.Why?Because I have proven
to myself (I do it first for me not for others) that I can achieve similar
results in real life when I get a chance to shave.By the way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the
next time I dress which should be on the second week of June 2008, if all works
out as planned.In order to
further illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable
posting I prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage”
Cristy (not so babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe).I recommend you see the original size
(if it fits in your screen).The
link is:
How far should I go?I’d like you to tell me.Would you rather see, from left to right, Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless
Cristy or Babe Cristy?In Yahoo
360 you will be able to cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you
read this in MySpace or URNA, please leave a short note with your point of view
in this “shallow” but interesting issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I
have always made it clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included
an explanatory note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts.The reason that gave me the idea to
write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages asking
me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel, etc.I have also been asked about when am I
having my SRS!It is evident that,
as is often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a
quick look at the photos and do not bother or have the time to read the
captions below them.As a matter
of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first
started posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my
intention to mislead anyone.For
those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the other photos,
I recommend you see it in large size):
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving
the kind of work shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the
top.However, I have always been
good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped me find my
way around the program.Therefore,
I have experimented further and just for fun have explored other manipulations
that make me appear to have a more feminine appearance by altering the body
shape in my own photos or simply putting my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies
(a technique I like to call “virtual body snatching”).I don’t know if any of those bodies I
have used have, in turn, been touched up before but they serve the purpose of
having some fun in “wonderland”. I have shared some of them with close friends but have
never posted any before, as I think this is far from reality and something I
could not achieve on my own.In other
words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have
anyone thinking they are real.For
the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but for that I have
created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all
photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos.Yes, it is fun and gives me great
satisfaction but it is not real.Following is the link to the home page for this Flickr profile.From there you can go to the photo
pages.
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you
will be wondering how much of the photos I post in my profiles and my real
Flickr account is really me.It is
an acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just
one program and there is nothing I can do about it.However, as a very dear friend has told me a number of
times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for those of you who
are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
So, After all the
Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe
and as long as we do not hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever
we feel appropriate.In my case, I
prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand how
other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed
female persona that matches their ideals and standards.However, I prefer when they state from
the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like and not when
they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the photo(s).In the case of the latter, the first
person they are fooling is themselves but as long as they enjoy it and do not
harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you
are entitled to it.I have
expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the
“virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own satisfaction;
knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to shave
all my body.In such cases, I have
always made it clear whenever I think it might be misleading.
From now on I might continue posting my “body and face
alterations” and my “ virtual body snatching” photos exclusively in the new
Fickr account, where I will not post any regular photos of me.I am still debating if I should post
the original next to the manipulation in the case of those photos that are not
my own since I have not used them with permission.I am also debating if I should open the profile to friend
adds and the photos to comments but once you read this document, the decisions
will have been made and maybe a Pandora Box will be opening.It seems that in this virtual world our
appearance will be composed of our own raw material and our, or other people’s,
skills to enhance it.We will
eventually get to the point where it is not only about how good or bad we look
but also how good can our photos be enhanced by ourselves or by others.
It seems that I just can’t keep a blog entry short but if
you were able to stand the reading to this point, we have finally reached the
end :-).Thank you for your
interest and I will appreciate your feedback if you consider it appropriate.
An Unscheduled Visit to the Therapist
Ana Cristina García October 20th, 2009 8:42 pm MDTFrom the critically acclaimed blog writer Ana Cristina Garcia and after a very long hiatus, here her new blog entry that will make you fall asleep in boredom. Here are some of the media’s reactions to this literary accident:
“Same old, same old” The Cross-dresser Times
“Not the same story again” Drag Magazine
“If I read one more story like this from her I will commit suicide” The TG Herald
But why take their word for it when you can verify yourself? Take the plunge…
An Unscheduled Visit to the Therapist
The last time I had been out to the therapist was on December of 2008 and since then I had only been out one more time, last week, with my sister-in-law. That outing was cut short and did not get to do all we had planned. Therefore, I was left a bit anxious to be out again and luckily I got to go out, on my own, just a few days later (Monday, October 19). Following are the accounts of this unexpected but satisfying time out and about as Cristy.
On Sundays temperature dropped down dramatically (for tropical standards) and I decided that if it continued on Monday I would dress and try to go out. The reason I would prefer a cold day is that I can wear clothes that cover up my legs and chest without having to shave. I had dreamed about going out in one of the warm mini-dresses that I had worn, with tights and high heels, for a photo session last January. I was undecided between the gray and the brown sweater-mini-dresses seen on the links below (from January):
Brown:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/3292401559/
Gray:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/3270000780/
My wife was out of town so I could not ask for her opinion so I emailed a couple of photos in each outfit to my sister-in-law and she recommended the brown. I was all made up and ready to put on the dress when I got her response and took her advice. I wore it exactly as I did in January except that I wore a brown top underneath to cover the white corset since the dress has a see-through knit in the middle, as you can see in the photo above. I also wore a different watch and styled my hair a bit different, without the bangs. One thing that made a big difference in my appearance was a piece of advice I got from my s-i-l regarding how to put on makeup base by pressing the sponge against the face rather than rubbing it. I totally recommend that, as the coverage is more even and the pores are less evident. I could not help to think that the first time we went out with her it was me giving makeup advice to her and now, after paying more attention to her appearance (which she says was motivated by seeing how her brother-in-law could make himself into a convincing woman). I guess that there is always something to learn, even for a veteran.
This is how I looked after returning from my long-awaited little adventure into the real world:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/4030933986/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/4030177723/
Notice the different hairstyle and wristwatch. Other than that it is all the same as in January.
Once all was in place I put plenty of Ralph perfume on me and I was ready to head out at around 5 p.m. My plans were to drive to the mall and wonder about for a while but then it occurred to me that I could stop by the therapist’s office and say hello to the secretary with the excuse that I had lost my cell phone and their number with it. Remember that to her, I do not live in town and come every so often to visit family and when that happens I try to schedule and appointment.
As is usually the case when I go out, I always have someone on call in case I run into trouble. That person is usually my wife but since she was out of town, I called my sister-in-law and she was up to it.
I got there and took a final check on my makeup and hair before getting off the car. Once I was ready I got off the car, walked to the doctors office and rang the bell. It was about 5:10 and I knew the doctor would be seeing his last patient of the day. To my surprise, the door was opened not by the secretary but by a female psychologist that works there too. I said hello and noticed that the secretary was on the phone as we smiled at each other. She seemed pleased to see me and after hanging the phone up we greeted with the traditional kiss on the cheek.
I sat down and she said that it had been a long time. I replied that I had lost their telephone number and therefore had not been able to set appointments on previous visits to town. She then gave me a card with the numbers and I put it in my purse as I commented that maybe I would call before I returned home (in Miami) to set an appointment. She said that the last patient of the day had canceled and that the doctor could see me right then. I replied that it would be fantastic but I did not have any cash on me to pay for the session. She said that she would go upstairs and ask the doctor if I could pay later and he said that he would see me in five minutes. As you can imagine, this is not what I had planned but I thought it would give me the chance to interact a bit more as Cristy only this time with someone who knew who I really was. The secretary offered me something to drink and I declined her offer arguing that I had just met for coffee with some girlfriends. She then asked if I had cut my hair and I replied that I had only styled it differently. As a matter of fact, since it is a wig, I guess that I have always had it the exact same length up to a micron. We chatted about this and that and then the doctor called for me so I got up and went up the stairs. He came out to greet me and said that it was a pleasant an unexpected surprise.
Conversation with the doctor was very casual an informal, this time. We talked about what I was wearing and I told him that I was a bit self-conscious given that I was wearing a mini-dress but he said that I looked very good in it and that my legs looked ok in tights and a little thin if anything. He also mentioned that the only thing that looked a bit suspicious were my hands but that for a tall woman that would border on the big side. Keep in mind that for our culture, at 5’ 6” without heels, I am a tall girl. If you add, at least 4” heels then I am much taller than the average female here and even those who are as tall or taller then I, are a lot thinner, most of the time. All in all, I am lucky to still able to pass for a taller than usual woman.
We talked about many topics including his family, specially his grandchildren. I felt right in character all the time and the only odd thing was a call that my male side had to made to the secretary to cancel the appointment “he” had for Wednesday. I could not afford two appointments so close to each other and since the issues of my male side are under control there was not much need for that. For those who are not aware from previous postings, Cristy does not go to therapy to be treated on cross-dressing or anything else. It is just a mere excuse that her male side cooked up along with the doctor so that she could have a safe environment in which to interact and where everybody else thinks of her as a genetic female (or so it seems so far after 13 visits over a 3 year period).
When discussing how would we handle payment for the session he said that my male side could bring it or that Cristy could send payment with someone else but that would be difficult. It occurred to me that if I had a chance to dress the following Thursday (my dressing window would end on Friday) Cristy would drop by to pay herself. I am hoping for this last option, as you can imagine.
Before the session came to an end, I told the doctor that I had plans to go to the mall and that I needed him to check if there was anything suspicious. Again, all of the times I have been to the mall on my own I have worn pants and not dresses and this dress was short. He did not see anything out of order, I greeted him goodbye and came down the stairs. As I came down the secretary was still there but was on the phone again. I just waved her goodbye and as she put the phone aside to say bye I told her that I might stop by on Thursday to pay for the session. There was a guy in the waiting room and I just smiled, greeted him and went out the door.
I walked to my car and started driving to the mall. I arrived at the mall at around 6:30 and it was already dark. The mall was more crowded than I expected, and I had trouble finding a parking place. I finally found one and walked towards the escalators. My first stop was at a drugstore to get me some throat pills. A guy who treated me like any other customer tended me. He always used the female form and did not give any unusual or strange looks. After paying I put the pills and change in my bag and went on my usual shoe store “pilgrimage”. It is amazing how once you have attained self-confidence; the stomach butterflies are a thing of the past. I do miss them but enjoy my outings more now that it is second nature.
I went in almost all the shoe stores in the mall and in all of them interacted with the clerks, who were usually female. Again, there were no signs of anyone noticing I was not a woman. Even though it was cold outside it was warm inside the mall and I got thirsty. I walked to the food court to get me something to drink at a Burger King. This time it was a man who tended me and all went smoothly. While I was at the cashier a lady stood next to me and we smiled at each other. She then said “Wow, you really look elegant” I thanked her and told her that I had dressed like that because it was cold but it was too hot inside and that why I was getting something to drink. Once I got my soda I said goodbye to the lady and looked for a table to sit. I sat for about 5 minutes while I finished my soda and then got up, dropped the cup in the trash and walked towards the lady’s room.
When I got in the lady’s room there were two other women grooming themselves up. I stood next to the long mirror and placed my bag on the vanity top to get my makeup out. You have no idea how I felt when I saw my reflection and I was these two other ladies and I was one of them. I was just another girl touching her makeup up before heading back home. The reflection in the mirror was that of a confident woman and one that was at ease with her appearance. I thought to myself, I look every bit as feminine as any of those other ladies. I touched up my lips, as I did not need powder or eyeliner and headed out feeling more confident and womanly than never before.
Before leaving I went to a couple more shoe stores and then went to a kiosk to pay for parking. Again I was kindly tended by a guy and walked to my car. I then drove back home with my confidence all charged up. I so needed this because it had been too long since I had been out in the wild at my own pace. One more confidence booster was that I was wearing more flashy clothes and even then I did not receive any suspicious looks from anyone that I noticed.
Being out in the real world is the ultimate experience for a cross-dresser and once you taste the sweet nectar you just can’t live without it. Dressing for staying in the confines of four walls is no longer as thrilling as it used to be. I’d rather wait for a long period to dress and go out than dress often and remain caged.
I am really looking forward to this Thursday and the idea of going to the therapist office to pay for my session last Monday. If you were able to get this far, I commend you for your perseverance and promise not to torture you with something like this again :-)
With my deepest respect and gratitude,
Cristy
[3 comments]
Daniel Aloicious Saint James
Dan™ A Saint James August 6th, 2009 3:52 pm MDTI am now officially Daniel Aloicious Saint James. I still have to get a new Social Security Card, Drivers License, etc. But it's been recognized by the court!
I'm really digging the new name.
Once I get around to getting my new ID, who wants to meet for drinks? I was thinking the "St James Tavern" on 4th? ehh ehh?
I may not get it until Monday. It depends on my schedule and such.
Anyway, that is all. :)
[3 comments]
Heh
Dan™ A Saint James February 5th, 2009 2:35 pm MST[2 comments]
2008 in Review
Dan™ A Saint James December 31st, 2008 2:28 pm MSTWell, it's definitely been an interesting year. A lot has happened. I ended a relationship with the best girlfriend I've ever had (though she still wasn't right), I've watched my prosperity complete dry up, I've almost completely stopped smoking and my drinking is almost not even noticeable at this point. I've fallen in love with the most incredible woman and I'm slowly figuring things out.
When the year began, I was worried about money. My company stopped producing and selling adult content which resulted in a massive drop of revenue. Around the same time, I broke my primary revenue producing website preventing people with IE 6 from accessing it, so I spent most of the year working on a new design which finally went online in August.
I really thought most of my financial problems were my fault. The result of changes in my companies business model and my own failing's running the web sites. In fact, I was so busy trying to figure out what I was doing wrong that I didn't notice the world collapsing slowly outside my window.
I had to cash in my kids college funds to pay bills. I had to cancel my life insurance to pay bills. When my car died, I decided to sell it for scrap rather than repair it. Fewer bills again. My house is usually a bit chilly and dark to save on utilities. I've reduced my monthly budget by around 2,000. I've been selling furniture to buy groceries.
For everything that had gone wrong, I'm optimistic. Not because I see an end in sight, but because I feel like I'm getting a handle on things. I have the best friends of my life. I'm in love for the first time in my life. I'm relatively healthy and my kids are healthy and seem well adjusted.
I think things are going to get worse. A lot worse, but I'm confident that we'll all get through this. As a planet, we need to step back and assess what's important. We need to focus on the things that need to be done, and we need to start working towards a better future.
I think we'll do it.
I hope.
[1 comment]
Merry xMas!
Dan™ A Saint James December 25th, 2008 7:35 am MST[2 comments]
Purple America
Dan™ A Saint James November 7th, 2008 3:03 pm MSTFor those of you who still think that the election was close, take a look at these two maps. One shows the counties in their actual size shaded blue or red based on what the population voted.
This map shows each county with a size set by the population. It looks a lot less red.
This is far more of the mandate the George W Bush claimed four years ago, this is a landslide. For those of you that fear a socialist government, let me just state the following:
1. Socialist nations like Denmark, Normay, Sweden and Holland have:
I've heard a lot of people claim that Obama was a socialist. He's not. I wish he was, but I would have been no more enthusiastic of his candidacy.
Be that as it may, why would socialism be so scary anyway?
[18 comments]
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday
Dan™ A Saint James October 20th, 2008 1:50 pm MDTHalloween has always been my favorite Holiday. Godless heathen that I am, there aren't many holidays that don't have the flavor of one of more gods tainting them. That's all right. I love Solstice decorations, and even some Christmas decorations (I usually have angels on my tree). Easter is fun because of coloring eggs and candy. I guess you could say that I enjoy some holidays that have been co-opted by religions in spite of that. Halloween though has always had a special place in my heart. There isn't a related religious holiday to be seen. It's all about dressing up and having fun. A final harvest festival to usher in the cold snowy months. I just got news that is going to make Halloween even better for me. I just got a notice from the Clerk of the Court of Common Please, Franklin County Ohio, Domestic Division. After six long irritating years of playing silly buggers in the court system, the judge has finally lost patience and is going to grant me an uncontested divorce! My children and I haven't even SEEN their mother is eight years! I always celebrated Halloween in Boston with the drag queens and transvestites. It's always a really fun time. I've been planning a "Bachelor Party" to coincide with my divorce. I think this is going to be an annual event! Anyway, I'm excited. The only fly in the ointment is that I am supposed to be in court at 9 am and my flight for Boston is scheduled for 1:20 pm the same day, so I may have to see about pushing it back. Either way, I'm pretty excited!
[2 comments]
The Candidates, simplified
Dan™ A Saint James October 9th, 2008 11:12 pm MDT[1 comment]
Open Casting Call for Gothcoming 2k8 (Chas Ray Krider)
Dan™ A Saint James August 29th, 2008 12:37 pm MDTChas Ray Krider (http://www.motelfetish.com) and Daniel Goode (http://www. retrokitten.com) will be holding open casting call interviews at The Invisible Studio for Gothcoming 2k8 (Friday Oct 3rd, 2008).
Chas will be interviewing for assistants and performers for an installation piece the night of Gothcoming.
Daniel is interviewing for Box Dancers and general assistants.
Wednesday August 3rd
2PM - 5PM
7PM - 9PM
The Invisible Studio
219 King Ave
Columbus OH, 43201
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=219+King+Ave+Columbus+OH&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=44.069599,68.203125&ie=UTF8&ll=39.990454,-83.012202&spn=0.010456,0.016651&z=16&iwloc=addr
If you are unable to attend the open casting call, you can contact Chas or Daniel directly to set up and interview.
Chas Ray Krider 614 327-2793
Daniel Goode 614 546-9117
View Larger Map
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Say Hello to Roxy
Dan™ A Saint James August 17th, 2008 6:44 pm MDTToday, Lynne and I bought the most adorable Chihuahua. We found her through http://petfinder.com. She was from a mother that was rescued from a puppy mill.
She is quite possibly the most adorable animal that we've ever seen. I'm really glad we are able to give her a good home. Our cats of course don't seem really thrilled yet, but I'm sure they will come around.
It's been a good weekend. Things aren't turning around yet, but progress is being made in all of the right directions.
http://gallery.me.com/dan.frederick/100169
[2 comments]
Making Memories
Dan™ A Saint James August 16th, 2008 3:36 pm MDTWhen I was five years old, I over heard my older foster sisters (10 and 12) talking about going to a "Teddy Bear Picnic". I was so excited. I imagined that the Teddy Bears came to life and played with you. I begged them to let me come along but they wouldn't let me.
Finally, I resorted to the tried and true method of little brothers everywhere and implored my foster mother. She told my sisters that they HAD to take me and they relented. Or so I thought...
With my radio flyer tied inexpertly to my tricycle (which was still wobbly from my failed re-enactment of the Monkee's opening credit trick where they rode mopeds down stairs) and my favorite Teddy Bear snuggled securely for the ride across town, we pedaled to the corner of Weir Street.
At the very moment that we reached the corner, my sisters, with some pre-arranged signal, sped away on their two wheeled bicycles.
I yelled and I cried, but the tears made it impossible for me to see where they went.
I rode my tricycle down the alley behind our house and crawled into the wagon with my Teddy Bear and cried and cried and cried.
From that point on, I hated them and I never forgave them for depriving me of my chance to go to the Teddy Bear Picnic.
Fast Forward 33 years, and my lovely girlfriend Lynne informs me that there is an opportunity for us to volunteer with Nationwide Children's Hospital at the Teddy Bear Safari at the Columbus Zoo. You'd better believe that I jumped all over that.
This is probably my favorite volunteer gig to date. Seeing children of all ages with their teddy bears. Eyes full of wonder as they help their furry little friends get check ups and vaccinations.
Truth be told, I wasn't ready to quit when my shift was up. They had to tell me repeatedly that I could go, and finally, Lynne had to drag me away. I would have stayed all day if I could.
I didn't get to create many happy memories when I was a child, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let another child miss out on that opportunity.
To commemorate this awesome day, I bought a new teddy bear, and I even got her a friend. Without out further ado, let me introduce you to Flo (IceFlow) the polar bear cub, and her best friend Xavier the cephalopod.
I've been rather lax in posting and I'm a little behind so here are photos from our trip to Cedar Point last weekend.
[photos]
[Comment on this post]
Untitled Post
Dan™ A Saint James July 17th, 2008 10:29 pm MDTNate, Lynne and I drove to Cincinnati for dinner with Deb and Tammie. Jasmine was going to come, but Rocky was sick. I understand completely.
We had a lovely meal at a Thai place. We were completely full and getting ready to drive home. We were in fact in the car, when Lynne suddenly shouts "KITTENS!"
Playing around the dumpster, were five of the most adorable kittens you will ever see. We went over to the dumpster while they scampered around. On the side of the restaraunt, someone had erected a little shelter and their were clean plates scattered around.
While we were investigating, the owner of the restaurant and his daughter came out. It seems the mother had abandoned the kittens (or perhaps she was hit by a car or something), and the kittens had been motherless for about five days.
The owner, and elderly Thai man had been trying to get them into shelters, but Cincinnati apparently has weird rules and they hadn't been able to find people to take them. (Go ahead and say it, an asian place where kittens weren't being used as food...) anyway...
We decided that we need to rescue them and at least bring them to a shelter in Columbus.
I currently have five kittens playing in my basement.
Here's the deal. We'd like them to find homes. The Shelter is OK, but ideally, if there is someone out there that would like a kitten, now's your chance. FREE to a good home.
I've posted a photo gallery to weaken your will.
Seriously, just go an look. What could it hurt? ehh? ehh?
[cuteness]
We are taking them to the shelter tomorrow around four pm, so you don't have a lot of time to decide. Seriously, they can't be more than four or five weeks old, they've already had rough lives. Wouldn't you like to give them a happy home?
[1 comment]
Help me get another facial!
Dan™ A Saint James June 12th, 2008 11:43 am MDT[clicky-click]
For some reason, gay people and their friends are often in the service industry. Bartenders, waiters, stylists, airline attendants. You don't take advantage of these relationships per se. It just makes your life easier.
One of my "Shopping Friends" Kelly, works at Phia in the Short North. Last week, I took k8e in for her first "Big Girl" salon visit and Kelly harped on me to come in. I cut my own hair, I do my own eyebrows, I really don't need to go to a salon...
or so I thought.
I went in this morning and got the "New Customer" Discount. $25 for a cut, eye brow wax, facial, hot towel and scalp massage.
WOW. I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years. Seriously. My best friend Michael always went to Salons and I chided him for wasting his money. I never understood. I would get a manicure while he slipped away into the bowels of the salon. He was always perkier and happier, but I thought it was just because he had spent a lot of money, not because he had been pampered. I get it now.
So here's the deal. Call Phia. Ask for an appointment with Kelly, and tell them that Daniel Frederick referred you. You'll get $10 off your first visit, and more importantly, "I'll" get $10 off "MY" next visit.
Seriously. I need to do this once a week. I feel like a million dollars. This needs to be part of my Friday ritual.
Please please please. Help me get a facial.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, I still giggle when I say the word "facial".
[3 comments]
Trouble is HOME!!!
Dan™ A Saint James June 11th, 2008 4:45 pm MDTWe had almost given up hope. My phone rang again this afternoon. Pete, the cook at Victorian's Midnight Cafe had adopted a stray from behind the bar last Thursday. It was Trouble!
He's home safe and sound. He has a brand new collar, fresh pet grass and more hugs and kisses then he probably wants.
That stupid douche. When I get done crying, I'm going to kill him!
Lynne and I are in Michigan for her nieces graduation party this weekend, but we'll be home Sunday.
HOORAY, the TROUBLE CAT is home SAFE!!!!!!
[Comment on this post]
Things We Lost in the Fire
Dan™ A Saint James June 9th, 2008 7:33 am MDTWhen I was about fifteen, I discovered the incredible joy of cross-country bicycling. For four years, I competed on an amateur level in Centuries and Double Centuries all over the mid west (a century is 100 miles). I was good, never great, but I did it because I loved the feeling of getting out on the road with the wind in my hair. It's one of the reasons I started shaving my body, and still do to this day.
In 1989, I entered the Marine Corps, and except for occasional stints with mountain biking, I never really got back in cycling.
Thirteen years ago, after seven different knee surgeries, the Navy finally decided they couldn't fix this broken Marine and gave me a medical discharge. Over the years, I've tried running, swimming, pilates, a dozen things. For some reason, I never got back into cycling.
This last week, I've been walking about three miles a day looking for our missing cat Trouble. I've spent each day sweating and generally feeling awful, but each day seemed a little easier.
Today at Target, something got into Lynne and I. I can't say what it was, but we suddenly found ourselves packing two brand spanking new Schwinn bicycles into our car.
After about an hour of tinkering and adjusting our bicycles, we heading out for the bike paths by the Olentangy River.
I don't remember feeling like this since 1989. Wind rushing past my face. Leg muscles pumping as I shitfted gears and climbed a hill. The smooth effortless thrill of pushing myself faster and faster.
I've found something that I lost. I can't believe that I didn't miss it. I'm not going to give this up again. I'm not going to ever give away something that makes me feel this good again.
[1 comment]
From Ape to Babe, Ramblings in Photo-Editing
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 11:24 am MDTFrom Ape to Babe – How Far Should a Cross-Dresser go with Digital Photo-Manipulation?
In the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the temporary-transformation pill). At last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web-based community where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so, how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality? I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I. Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually, something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following links and you tell me:
http://blog.sessions.edu/graphic-design/photo-retouching-the-delicate-balance/
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that Faith is already a gorgeous middle-aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross-dressers it is very hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets, lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo-manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the photos from then (see links below).
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=64501063&albumID=1148889&imageID=11241782
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/489126232/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2420393557/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/999288280/
It was after seeing how natural my tape-produced cleavage looked that I thought I was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the “authentic tape-created cleavage” shown in the links above:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2467940763/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2264700419/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2067365114/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/739261488/
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others) that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828866/
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right, Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA, please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel, etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/967913811/
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”. I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr account:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828858/
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the “virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to shave all my body. In such cases, I have always made it clear whenever I think it might be misleading.
From now on I might continue posting my “body and face alterations” and my “ virtual body snatching” photos exclusively in the new Fickr account, where I will not post any regular photos of me. I am still debating if I should post the original next to the manipulation in the case of those photos that are not my own since I have not used them with permission. I am also debating if I should open the profile to friend adds and the photos to comments but once you read this document, the decisions will have been made and maybe a Pandora Box will be opening. It seems that in this virtual world our appearance will be composed of our own raw material and our, or other people’s, skills to enhance it. We will eventually get to the point where it is not only about how good or bad we look but also how good can our photos be enhanced by ourselves or by others.
It seems that I just can’t keep a blog entry short but if you were able to stand the reading to this point, we have finally reached the end :-). Thank you for your interest and I will appreciate your feedback if you consider it appropriate.
Hugs and best regards to all,
Cristy.
[4 comments]
From Ape to Babe - How Far Should a Cross-Dresser go with Digital Photo-Manipulation?
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 11:22 am MDTIn the beginning there where men trying to look like women...
As soon as digital photography....
[Comment on this post]
Gay Leather Bar + Karaoke = AWESOME
Dan™ A Saint James June 4th, 2008 11:20 am MDTMy friend Chris is running Karaoke at EXILE on Wednesdays. I didn't make it last week, but I'm going tonight. I'm really not sure why every single Karaoke DJ downtown is one of my friends, but I blame Jasmine.
It gives me a chance to try out my awesome new leather chaps that I got for $60 in Lancaster. Who knew there would be such awesome savings out in the sticks!
We are probably heading over around 10:30 or 11. Exile is located on 4th St between 1st and 2nd Avenue. The bar used to be called Patrick's.
I used to go to Exile all the time, but over the years, too many memories built up and I couldn't go in without crying (shut up Jasmine). Remember, I'm not a goth. I'm a gay leather power bottom. I only started frequenting the goth scene because I needed a place to go where my investment in clothes wasn't going to be wasted.
If you want to come along, I'm getting a crew together. Come with me and experience my roots. It will be a walk down Amnesia Lane.
[Comment on this post]
From Ape to Babe - How Far Whould a Cross-Dresser go with Photo-Manipulation?
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 11:16 am MDTIn the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of
us, cross‐dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top
of our wish list (second only to the temporary‐transformation pill). At last, we
would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for
processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for
creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a
dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web‐based community where
TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo
360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of
friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also
portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention
Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use
our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos
with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we
have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world
this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I
am talking from a cross‐dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show
our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give
or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people
who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as
possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so
that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are
developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a
profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it
is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the
woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity
to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be
completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people
pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or
photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like
to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are
not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they
honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor
beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross‐dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more
appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with
being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful
woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular,
praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or
those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to
look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include
myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other
“girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo
editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us
who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to
resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our
skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use
Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so,
how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality?
I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and
following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with
examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure
of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and
leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful
since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it
sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing
tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me
being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I.
Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually,
something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing
deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we
see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been
heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following
links and you tell me:
http://blog.sessions.edu/graphic‐design/photo‐retouching‐the‐delicate‐balance/
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that
Faith is already a gorgeous middle‐aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make
her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and
slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is
removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the
article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in
detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples
of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click
on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it
was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage
and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the
perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link
below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is
produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair
we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a
good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us
are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects
that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on
their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure
of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and
exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with
Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite
unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross‐dressers it is very
hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is
opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets,
lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the
difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo‐
manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty
electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful
women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In
my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in
reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better
if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I
know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave
my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest
and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to
shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not
believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the
photos from then (see links below).
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=64
501063&albumID=1148889&imageID=11241782
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/489126232/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2420393557/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/999288280/
It was after seeing how natural my tape‐produced cleavage looked that I thought I
was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by
superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that
maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been
touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in
the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you
agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I
like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a
note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the
“authentic tape‐created cleavage” shown in the links above:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2467940763/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2264700419/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2067365114/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/739261488/
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo
editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others)
that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the
way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should
be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further
illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I
prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so
babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend
you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828866/
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right,
Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to
cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA,
please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting
issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it
clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory
note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me
the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages
asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel,
etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is
often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the
photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a
matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started
posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to
mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the
other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/967913811/
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work
shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have
always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped
me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and
just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more
feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting
my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body
snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been
touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”.
I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I
think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other
words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone
thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but
for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all
photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives
me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this
Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr
account:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828858/
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much
of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an
acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one
program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has
told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for
those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not
hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my
case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand
how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed
female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when
they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like
and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the
photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but
as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I
have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the
“virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own
satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to[Comment on this post]
From Ape to Babe, How Far Should a Cross-dresser go with Photo Manipulation?
Ana Cristina García June 4th, 2008 10:40 am MDTIn the Beginning There Were Men Trying to Look like Women…
As soon as digital photography became available to the masses, I am sure that all of us, cross-dressers, saw and took advantage of an opportunity that was near the top of our wish list (second only to the temporary-transformation pill). At last, we would be able to take photos of ourselves without having to take the film for processing and the risks it involved.
Almost a decade has gone by and digital photography combined with the means for creating a female persona to interact with other people like us, has certainly been a dream come true for most of us. There is rarely a web-based community where TGirls in general and CDs in particular have not created a niche. MySpace, Yahoo 360, Hi5, Facebook, Flickr, YouTube, to name a few, allow us to have a circle of friends with whom to share this important aspect of our lives. There are also portals dedicated exclusively to the TG community and here I have to mention Urnotalone as a pioneer and the place where many of us made our debut. We use our profiles to share and exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, and, of course, photos with those who understand us in every way because they have the same passion we have for transforming ourselves into women.
Digital photography is one of the means through which we can share with the world this other side of ourselves and, arguably, the most important (keep in mind that I am talking from a cross-dresser’s point of view). It is through photos that we show our friends how good and how far are we able to go in our transformation and give or ask for help in improving our image. We do this within a community of people who know what it is all about and accept us as men trying to look as female as possible. Having a physical or visual image that matches our pretended gender so that others can relate to this woman they are meeting and with whom they are developing a friendship is very important. How many times have we come across a profile that says that the owner will not add any faceless person as a friend? Yes, it is important to have a face and, even better to have a complete body, to make the woman we pretend to be, appear real to others. Now, unless we get an opportunity to, eventually, meet in person with all these friends, there is no way we can ever be completely sure that “she” is for real. Every day we see profiles of people pretending to be TGirls showing photos that are so obviously of genetic females or photos that are evidently photomontages. Rather than judging these people I’d like to think that in their need to give life to an image that, for various reasons, they are not able to produce themselves, they rely on photos that depict the appearance they honestly wished they had. After all, we live in societies that, sadly enough, favor beauty over intelligence, values or personality.
In the case of cross-dressers and maybe all other TGirls, beauty is even more appreciated than in the case of real women because we are not only contempt with being able to pass for a female but all the better if we can pass for a beautiful woman. It is no surprise then, that “beautiful” TGirls are often more popular, praised and admired than those who can totally pass for average looking females or those who are the intellectuals and activists of our community. There is a strive to look as pretty as possible; in some cases to satisfy our own needs, and I include myself here, and in other cases to gain the acceptance and admiration of the other “girls” in our circles of friends.
… Then, Along Came Photoshop and a Dilemma…
Another field that developed parallel to digital photography was digital photo editing and its power horse, Photoshop. Yes, we are talking magic here. All of us who have come across Photoshop and learned the basics have not been able to resist exploring all the possibilities that are limited only by our imagination and our skills using the program. The dilemma that we face now is: Is it valid to use Photoshop or any other photo editing program to touch up our photos? And if so, how much of that magic should we use without being deceitful or distorting reality? I am sure that there are diverse opinions and points of view in this regard and following I will try to give you my outlook on this topic and will illustrate with examples whenever possible.
… To Deceive or not to Deceive… That is the Question.
I started using Photoshop to eliminate red eye and to correct the color and exposure of my photos. Then, I used it to eliminate chest hair when I wore revealing tops, and leg hair when I did not wear double hose. I did not consider this practice deceitful since it was the equivalent to shaving my body. I do not have thick body hair but it sure is noticeable and disgusting and prevented me from wearing more revealing tops and/or skirts with bare legs and sandals. My wife is not comfortable with me being shaved all the time and since I am a male 99% of the time, neither am I. Consequently, Photoshop provides the best means for me to achieve, virtually, something I can do, in reality, only on rare occasions. Is this level of photo editing deceitful? I guess we could consider it a mild deception but don’t all the photos we see on printed advertisement and on beauty magazines have, in most cases, been heavily touched up? If you think that is not the case, just take a look at the following links and you tell me:
http://blog.sessions.edu/graphic-design/photo-retouching-the-delicate-balance/
In the previous link you see the before and after photo of Faith Hill. Granted that Faith is already a gorgeous middle-aged woman, they manipulate her photo to make her look a lot younger and shapely. Notice how her face is made smoother and slimmer as well as her arm. Also notice how the little hump showing on her back is removed and the clavicle is made less prominent. I have not read the text of the article sent to me by my dear friend Laura Recinos just recently, but it explains in detail how it was done. The following link provides even more dramatic examples of how a professional touches up photos from famous people for magazines. Click on each thumbnail and then roll the mouse over the enlarged photo to see how it was before and then roll out to see the after again.
http://glennferon.com/portfolio1/index.html
As you can see, all wrinkles are gone, boobs are made larger and with more cleavage and every little imperfection is taken care of to present a perfect image. This is the perfect image we all seek and strive for but, as the Dove commercial, in the link below, clearly states, it is an unrealistic and unattainable beauty standard since it is produced electronically. Yes, every gorgeous girl with a perfect body, face and hair we see in all sorts of magazine adds is not as perfect as she seems to be. Having a good raw material to start with makes the task easier but the photos they show us are idealizations achieved through the manipulation of photos of beautiful subjects that are close but not quite there and, in some cases, not even close to perfection, on their own. Every woman, and I count here TGirls too, would like to have the figure of a Barbie Doll or Jessica Rabbit but we know that their extremely slim waists and exaggerated proportions can only be produced in plastic or drawing and lately, with Photoshop. Our ideal of beauty has become, thanks to photo editing, quite unrealistic. Take a look at the Dove commercial now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
A Justification… or Not.
Where does reality end and deception begin? In the case of cross-dressers it is very hard to define since we are already being deceitful by presenting an image that is opposite to our real gender. Wigs, makeup, breast forms, hip padding, corsets, lashes, nails, etc. are the physical tools we use to create an illusion. What is the difference then, between that and getting similar results with digital photo-manipulation?
If gorgeous models, actresses and singers have their already outstanding beauty electronically enhanced why shouldn’t us, ugly men trying to look like beautiful women, do it too? After all, we need it a lot more than they do. Don’t you agree?
If you ask me, I think we are entitled to do it; but how far should we go with it? In my opinion, we should go as far as to reproduce what we are able to achieve in reality if we have the opportunity. What I mean by this is: if I know I can look better if I shave my body but can’t do it all the time then why not get a virtual shave? If I know, I can produce a decent cleavage with tape and padding when I get to shave my chest then why not simulate it with Photoshop? I used to just remove the chest and leg hair with Photoshop until one time, a little over a year ago, that I got to shave my whole body and produced a pretty decent cleavage with tape. I could not believe my eyes when I saw myself in the mirror and even now, when I see the photos from then (see links below).
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=64501063&albumID=1148889&imageID=11241782
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/489126232/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2420393557/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/999288280/
It was after seeing how natural my tape-produced cleavage looked that I thought I was entitled to get Photoshop implants by either shading the flat chest or by superimposing and blending real boobs from real girls (it just occurred to me that maybe some of the boobies I have used for my photos might have already been touched up LOL). I will be the first to admit that I have gotten a bit carried away in the chest size and cleavage but if you are going to do it then do it right, don’t you agree? The links below show a few of the photos where I have incurred in what I like to call “Photoshop Implants”. Every time I post this type of photos I include a note stating that the breasts are not real. Please notice the difference with the “authentic tape-created cleavage” shown in the links above:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2467940763/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2264700419/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2067365114/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/739261488/
Up to this point I believe it is still justifiable, in my humble opinion, to use photo editing. Why? Because I have proven to myself (I do it first for me not for others) that I can achieve similar results in real life when I get a chance to shave. By the way, my wife has agreed to let me shave my chest the next time I dress which should be on the second week of June 2008, if all works out as planned. In order to further illustrate the two levels of photo improvement that I am comfortable posting I prepared an image showing the “hairy” Cristy (ape), the “No Cleavage” Cristy (not so babe) and the “Virtual Breast Augmentation” Cristy (arguably babe). I recommend you see the original size (if it fits in your screen). The link is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828866/
How far should I go? I’d like you to tell me. Would you rather see, from left to right, Ape Cristy, Flat and hairless Cristy or Babe Cristy? In Yahoo 360 you will be able to cast your vote in the poll at the bottom but if you read this in MySpace or URNA, please leave a short note with your point of view in this “shallow” but interesting issue.
This writing should not be taken for a confession, because I have always made it clear that I am not smooth most of the time and have also included an explanatory note whenever I post photos showing enhanced breasts. The reason that gave me the idea to write about this topic is that, lately, I have gotten several messages asking me about my new implants and if I am happy with them, how do they feel, etc. I have also been asked about when am I having my SRS! It is evident that, as is often the case, we are so busy with other things that we just take a quick look at the photos and do not bother or have the time to read the captions below them. As a matter of fact I posted a before and after photo almost a year ago when I first started posting photos with “virtual implants” since it has never been my intention to mislead anyone. For those of you who have not seen it, here is the link (as with the other photos, I recommend you see it in large size):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/967913811/
I am not an expert with Photoshop and am far from achieving the kind of work shown in the before and after photos seen in the links at the top. However, I have always been good with computers and have an artistic background that has helped me find my way around the program. Therefore, I have experimented further and just for fun have explored other manipulations that make me appear to have a more feminine appearance by altering the body shape in my own photos or simply putting my face on top of gorgeous GG bodies (a technique I like to call “virtual body snatching”). I don’t know if any of those bodies I have used have, in turn, been touched up before but they serve the purpose of having some fun in “wonderland”. I have shared some of them with close friends but have never posted any before, as I think this is far from reality and something I could not achieve on my own. In other words, I find these images completely deceptive and would not like to have anyone thinking they are real. For the first time ever I will post some of them on Flickr but for that I have created a new account in which I make very clear that they are all photomontages or extreme manipulations of my own photos. Yes, it is fun and gives me great satisfaction but it is not real. Following is the link to the home page for this Flickr profile. From there you can go to the photo pages.
http://www.flickr.com/people/27290011@N07/
Also, here is a link to the one photo of this kind I will post in my regular Flickr account:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristy98girl/2549828858/
I am fully aware that after seeing these last photos you will be wondering how much of the photos I post in my profiles and my real Flickr account is really me. It is an acceptable conclusion once I have shown the magic that can be made with just one program and there is nothing I can do about it. However, as a very dear friend has told me a number of times, my videos are proof of how I really look like and for those of you who are doubtful, here is the link to my YouTube profile:
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cristy98girl
So, After all the Rambling, is There Anything to Conclude?
In conclusion, I think that it is all a game of make believe and as long as we do not hurt anyone else we should be entitled to do whatever we feel appropriate. In my case, I prefer to be honest and make things clear from the start but can understand how other people go for deception in their attempt to give life to a much needed female persona that matches their ideals and standards. However, I prefer when they state from the beginning that the photos show how they wish they looked like and not when they try to mislead others into thinking it is really them in the photo(s). In the case of the latter, the first person they are fooling is themselves but as long as they enjoy it and do not harm anyone in the process, then so be it.
Some of you might agree or disagree with my opinion and you are entitled to it. I have expressed my very own point of view with regards to this topic and I do the “virtual shaving” and “Photoshoped Implants” first and foremost for my own satisfaction; knowing full well that I can achieve similar results if I get a chance to shave all my body. In such cases, I have always made it clear whenever I think it might be misleading.
From now on I might continue posting my “body and face alterations” and my “ virtual body snatching” photos exclusively in the new Fickr account, where I will not post any regular photos of me. I am still debating if I should post the original next to the manipulation in the case of those photos that are not my own since I have not used them with permission. I am also debating if I should open the profile to friend adds and the photos to comments but once you read this document, the decisions will have been made and maybe a Pandora Box will be opening. It seems that in this virtual world our appearance will be composed of our own raw material and our, or other people’s, skills to enhance it. We will eventually get to the point where it is not only about how good or bad we look but also how good can our photos be enhanced by ourselves or by others.
It seems that I just can’t keep a blog entry short but if you were able to stand the reading to this point, we have finally reached the end :-). Thank you for your interest and I will appreciate your feedback if you consider it appropriate.
Hugs and best regards to all,
Cristy.
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